I was a blubbering idiot when Jeane died and I want to thank you for explaing the intense of her death, especially what it meant for her. I wish so much that she was one of the seven to survive. That would have been the best. Well, thanks for writing this, it was depressing but touching.


-Your favorite dancing pickle

Snow good.

guess who??!! hehe well I damn well hope you know who it is anyway. *slaps self in shock* oh god I just read something that isnt royai!! wow, I really need to do that more often. bet you wish you never showed me fma rite?

The imagry in this is amazing, I could see it so clearly. You're right the blood and guts level is particularily appropriate for claymore. I like how there is the slight connection between Raki and Jeane in regards to Clare. You've captured Jeane's personality perfectly, and I love the scene be between Clare and Jeane at the end.

e i like! i hope you write more claymore fics!
until tomorow!!

(p.s note use of capitals!)

You know I'm guilty of not really caring about Jean that much. I guess I'm too much like Raki, big softie that he is.

Anyway, once more I will commend you you on your fantastic imagery. I think what caught me the most was the visualisation of the scene in the beginning areas. The 'Two, bright, shinning red handprints' really caught my eye in the way you seemed to produce a bright and indefinately more grusome twist to that overused description of 'pale' or 'blue' footprints in the snow that run rampage throughout a lot of winter scences. Here you were contrasting that old cliche in every sense by using 'hands' as opposed to 'feet' and 'red' to 'grey/blue/whatever'. I would be tempted to call it anthesis almost.

I also enjoyed the usage of the word 'unromantic' in comparison to the 'fireman' description right towards the beginning. It made the act of her carrying him little more than another job for her to do, though the connotation of 'unromantic' at once seemed to enlarge it into an ironic mockary of the whole triangle situation between them and Clare. It was almost as though it was striping them of their genders or indeed, stripping them of the tension and physical differences that are supposed to exist between the two genders - but then the whole male/female power struggle is one of the key elements in Claymore itself.

Also liked the personification of the fire and sword. Just seemed to illustrate Jean and her sense of helplessness in correlation to the bigger picture.

Though, Raki and her were both very much in character - something that I always worry about when reading any fanfic to do with Claymore. The emotions are something you have to be careful not to excharate, else you lose the refined sense of dignity in the series. However by keeping the conversation to the two keystones - 'Clare' and 'why do you choose to take this form of action?'- you've managed to avoid any out of character dialogue.

Hah, I loved teh rather muted sense with which Raki analyses things, he is a very much human character and a male one at that. I enjoy the way you have him observe things. He's probably the only one who can acutely grasp certain things in the surrounding that the Claymore cannot. For instance the blood on Clare's face. No doubt this is just a commom occurance in battle that the other Claymore won't take much notice of it. But Raki carefully translates this into the fact that Clare is caught up into a very emotive state by not noticing at least the feel of the scarlet liquid. I like this role you've given him.

Jeez, how much have I written? I haven't even had breakfast. This is Youkomon, signing off and assuring you, once again, that you excell at the descriptive elements of writing. Also please ignore the audrious spelling mistakes. I rot at them, I really do.

with my best interpretation of the lion Rigald, "Superb.."

Excelente, Bravoo!! you nailed Jean's personality, great job!


P.S: "Then resolve knitted her pale eyebrows closer together.." Jean has no eyebrows xDD