CONTINUE! THIS IS GOOD

Dear Swack 16,
I’ve got to say, that was pretty good for a first timer story. First off, let me take out the elephant in the room and say the first few chaps were riddled with several typos, but you got better near the end. I also see the parallels between your character, Ryan, and John of the Transformation universe. (Then again, they BOTH are your characters. XD) I enjoyed this one and I’m going to check out Kanto Love next. (Don’t worry, I read Tough love already, and strangely enough, reading those parts with Sarah and Ryan have more resonance in them now…) Well, good job! Jonseycat, out! MEE-YAA!
Ps: The Shinx was cute in its awakening scene, and Sarah… LOL!XD! I Totally get it now!
(Cindy and Sarah from Quarantine walk by in confusion, but I still laugh)
Sarah: I sure don’t remember no Piplup named grace.
Me: It’s an AU, get used to it. Swack was just honoring the character he established in this story by naming you after her.
Cindy: Aww, that’s rather sweet of him.
Sarah: Come on Cindy, we still got tread toward that sequel.
Me: Uh, right. Anyway, see ya soon Swack!
(Walks away, oblivious to a shiny Eevee popping up.)
John: Cindy! Sarah! Wait!
Me: MEE-YAA!

Dear Swack 16,
Well, I finally got a chance to read this story…DeJavu! So this is how you got Shinx! (All personas, mind you. XD!) I also now see why you made all those requests for John’s character in Quarantine. ^_^. See ya in the next chap!
Jonseycat, out!
MEE-YAA!

Hm. confused me a little at first, but it seems quite interesting!

Pretty good story. I love spin-offs of other stories. Can't wait to see more chapters...now onto the other one! lol

Okay, I like this new 3rd person view, it's good, keep it like this. Aside from that, I felt that this chapter was a bit too much like any other original trainer fic out there, but fortunately, you said so new stuff will happen next chapter, so I look forward to reading it.

Okay, I'm a bit confused. So this guy is having his memories altered by Unown, and he comes to in the Pokemon world, believeing himself to originally be from there? Is this correct. Okay, I'll buy it.

I feel that you need to work on your grammar, and also, I have a few issues with the end of this chapter. A guy from our world is brought to the Pokemon world, is found unconscious on a beach, has amnesia, and freaks out when he wakes up, and has an image of Mew as he passes out...dude, c'mon.

aw. shinx r so cute! lucky!

-eevee rox(oh look at the time, gotta go!)

Now Ryan has a Shinx...an affectionate one may I add ^^

You have a good idea but you might need to work a bit on your grammar

For some reason, I like to drink milk whenever I eat pancakes or French Toast and even Omelettes. I've gotten used to milk so much I won't abandon it for juice or anything and 100% pure orange juice may be nutritious but good grief...it's horridly distasteful! XoX But anyways, so a trainer did not abandon Shinx, just merely chose to hurt it >.< Can't wait to see him! Anyways, looking forward to reading Ryan's Kanto journey :D

Nice chapter. Makes a good pause between key plot points, and the Shinx is very well described as being infaturated with him.

Anyway. Take time when writing these. If you rush, it messes up the story (looks at SitN and cringes). The longer you ponder over a chapter, the more likely you'll find sudden inspiration. I know I've found yet another possibility for how to end TGF because I've left it for so long, and it's much better than what I was originally planning.

hey man!
nice update. ^^

one key thing ti remember while writing is that u should never rush yourself. even if u know that it's been awhile since u last updated, try to go slowly, for a good story takes time.

also, remeber to decribe what is going on again. i guess u might have forgotten this when u relized how long it's been since u've updated. that brings me back to my point. lol ^^

alright, those are my tips for today. hope they helped! ^^

Aww, it's so cute how much Shinx loved him even then--especially then! Anyway, *you* better not have been posing. Only Ash can pose.

Well, you've certainly reduced your typos by a substatial amount, though not completely.

All in all, this was a cute, fluffy chapter, but a good one. I hope to see some more action soon!

Posted From My Wii.