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| Truth Believer 2008-02-13 ch 1,  | abusewonderful |
| Singing Violin 2007-11-13 ch 1, | abuseSo, this is the story you wrote for your English class? They allow *fanfic*?! I would never have gotten away with that when I was your age! In any case, if I understand correctly that this story received the A, I'm not sure why the teacher had to ask her husband about how Bill Scully died - it's not really relevant. In general, this story is well-written. Your use of language is pretty good and I love the angsty stuff. It's a sweet scene I would love to have seen as part of the episode. Take the lyrics out though. First of all, ffnet doesn't allow lyrics (if you don't believe me, reread the Guidelines, it's under "actions not allowed"). Second of all, they're unnecessary and jarring; in general random lyrics stuck into the middle of a story makes it worse, not better, especially for readers who don't know the song. One grammatical thing - you write "He would rather hurt himself than ever hurt her first; physically and internally." That sentence doesn't parse. I think what you mean is something like "He would hurt himself before he would ever hurt her, physically or emotionally." |
| MariShal 2007-10-06 ch 1, | abuseWow, this is wonderful! It's so sweet and romantic, love it :-) |
| gillian dana 2007-10-05 ch 1, | abuseYou are correct the title of the episode is beyond the sea and the funny thing is that when u published this story yesterday they gave the episode on the scifi channel. Great job I just love it! I also love the story line!! I admire ur work so much and I think ur fics are just awsome! Please write more fics and update ur other one's! |