Great scene. I didn't see it as entirely depressing - Fuuka's mild curiosity and Shinjiro's indirect kindness balance it off, even when you know what's coming.

Yeah, there's angst, but it's really subtle. Instead of dragging everything down in a painful interior monologue, you wrote the scene with a light touch, making the small hints - the full moon especially - all the more important.

Great work getting into the characters, not just superficially, but adding little details that really bring them out - like Shinjiro offering his coat by pretty much throwing it at her, Koromaru constantly moving around, Fuuka politely waiting for Shinjiro to be done. I really like how Shinjiro's and Fuuka's personalities play off here. I don't get the sense that they're very close, but they still feel much closer than they did in the game itself.

Crit: (this is an older fic, so feedback might not be as useful at this point, but what the heck)

The language could be tightened up; as it is, it feels wordy.

One thing that struck me as off was Fuuka's prolonged study of Shinjiro. She seems too shy to just stare at someone for a long time, and I'm not sure Shinjiro would tolerate it. Her observations are good, but they feel like details she would've noticed gradually over the last month, not things she'd be listing to herself right there on the step. Or maybe she would notice it all right there, but she'd be a little more hesitant about it and partially thinking of a reason to go back inside.

You did well author; quite well

oh. I was hoping for a little romance but this was fantastic.

Is that "much more entertaining" thing a fuuka/shinji romance? I'm crazy about the pairing.

Hope to see more!

I really enjoyed this, I think there should have been more interaction between these two in the game. I can see this happening, too. They were very in character.

/thumbs up/

I remember being surprised when I heard Mitsuru say "Aragaki" because at the time I was playing I was wondering what Shinji's last name was. Nobody had said it.

Despite the angsty tone, I enjoyed this story. Friendship stories are nice to read from the big mass of P3 fics, especially of two characters who don't normally interact.

Your story reminds me that I gotta finish and post up my own P3 fic some time.

Argg! This is a diamond in the rough, my dear! It is so hard to find a good "friendship among SEES members" fic. It was beautiful, you could not have picked two better characters to write about. Really lovely. I'm ranting, but seriously. . . it's great. It's going on my faves. . yes. . . right now.

Wahh. ): That was so sad.

I really liked it, though. I'm going to go mire myself in semi-happy Akihiko/Shinji 'fics to make myself feel better. ;_;

I liked this a lot. You managed to keep Shinjiro and Fuuka very in-character all the time, which is difficult since their personalities are, well, really opposite each other.

Here comes the "What I have to point out part". Don't worry, it's nothing very important, as I said before I really liked your fic. But... Mitsuru knew Shinji for quite a long time, just like she knew Akihiko. So, she didn't call him Aragaki even with her polite nature. She called him Shinjiro.

See? It was nothing actually xD, just a little detail.

Needless to say, your fic made me all depressed. I loved Shinjiro so much, and I couldn't believe he was dead. The funeral part broke my heart :(

Damn you Atlus, you always do terrible things to the characters I love. Well, you do terrible things to the characters I dislike, but I couldn't care less.

Sorry, ignore that random babbling *grins*.

I look forward to read your "something much more entertaining". I'm sure it'll be as good as this one, or even better.

Ha! This is great! I liked the image of Shinjiro being a SEES member through and through, even if he isn't showing it on the outside. Nice friendship fic.

Ah! You finally posted. Now, my opinion is kind of... well, you know. But! I do like your Shinjiro and your Fuuka and how you make them interact. So, I see in front of my tired eyes a good story. I totally agree with the arm band thing, and how Fuuka comments on it.

"Something much more entertaining" indeed XD

-Mazzie May

(why do i sign crap? you know who i am)