This was great, I like that you wrote Queen Lora. We never hear a lot about her in the books and I don't think anybody's written about her yet so you made me curious to see what she's like. You write all of them well but you write them so differently, it feels like Peter and Lucy are somewhere sunny and bright but Susan and Edmund are somewhere where they have to be careful. If you did that on purpose you did it really well. Peter and Lucy have fat friendly people and all kinds of children around them and everybody is happy to see them but Susan and Edmund arrived in panic and they haven't seen a lot of people all together and Corin has guards outside his door so it feels like a different kind of place. I think Edmund on his first hunt could be fun to see and I like that Susan has a grown up to talk to, that seems like what she'd like to do. Will there be conflict in the Lone Islands too? You set up some good conflict in the south so I wonder if the east and north will be easier for them.

Really good chap. I like the duke and duchess and I really like king Lune and his wife. I hope you write more of them. I really like seeing Corin when he's little too, he's really cute. Good chap.

That was a lovely chapter. I really loved how you represented the characters. You do it so well. Great descriptions too! My favorite part I think is probably Susan and Corin, and the scene with Peter and Lucy in Avra. I am so curious where this story is going. Please update soon!

Ooh, another chapter! I really enjoyed this- reading your Lucy is always a joy, and seeing Corin and Susan connect was lovely. Bravissimo!

Another wonderful chapter (as of course it would be!) I think my favorite parts were just the simple pictures- Lucy, sitting on the windowsill; Susan, on the floor of the nursery with Corin. So simple but so meaningful, when it comes to their characters and where they fit.

This is maybe the best chapter yet. I think you're good at balancing how much you show us of everybody. I love Edmund being sick when he sees blood, it makes him really human and it feels like how he would be. The part with the werewolf scared me I forgot there were still things in the woods like that, good job reminding us. I like the dogs baying that way too, and how they all had to run to the castle. The talking with Peter and Lucy was sweet, really brother and sister and still king and queen too. I like the centaur Pollus I hope we see more of him. Awesome job.

That was awesome how the werewolf attacked like that but it was really sad the leoperd died. I eally like how Peter and Lucy talk to each other. You write him like a really good big brother and I think Lucy is really lucky to have him. I like how you put Edmund doesn't like blood too that sounds like him. Really great chap.

"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. "There's a porpoise right behind me, and he's treading on my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance; they are waiting on the shingle, won't you come and join the dance?"

*lol* Sorry 'bout that. It hardly matters when one is in Narnia, does it?

On that note, you did a marvellous job of showing how the Pevensies are just slowly forgetting more and more of our world as they become immersed in their new world.

In fact, I absolutely adored this entire chapter. Lucy with her insecurities and fears of growing up and the conclusion she comes to is so Lucy-ish and Lewis-ish ("It is of course the silliest children that act most childish, and the silliest adults that act most grown up"), and the cat does sound a dear.

As for Susan- her feeling queasy knowing that a leopard died in her defence- and her relationship with Edmund (who I liked v. much)- was just perfect.

Wonderful chapter!

I didn't have a chance to review the third chapter until now, so I do them both together - and they belong together in the way that both change viewpoint between both pairs of monarchs. I can see why you're not sure which title to give to which chapter - there's really none of them more obvious than the other.

Lots of delightful scenes - as a cat lover, I enjoyed the scene with the ship's cat very much. A cat who loves being made fuss of, is a wonderful thing - some cats are too concerned with their dignity to allow themselves to accept such fuss, it seems. Good for Lucy to realise that she won't be required to keep her dignity at all times, even as a Queen.

Then a less than delightful (but delightfully well written) scene involving another feline.

“He died in defence of his Queen, as he would have wished it.”

The loyalty of the Narnians to their new human rulers is such a great thing, and you show it so well.

I've always found it strange how the monarchs when hunting the White Stag cannot remember their coming from England, when Edmund quite recently in Calormen clearly remembered his treachery just as far back in time. Perhaps this is why, then - he remembers what happened _in_ Narnia, while their life _before_ Narnia is getting very blurred very soon. Part of the Narnian magic, I assume ... I hope they don't lose too much of their background, though. I think there will be little things that would be good for them to keep. And the way you write it, that's what happens - they remember little things (like Lucy's rhyme about a little girl in an odd place - I like that) without remembering the context.

Nice chapter, Andi. The attack on Susan was fabulous! Definitely the best part so far.

The Peter/Lucy is nice, although I'm anxious to get to the parts where they have something to do besides talk to each other. Peter's patience was sweet. But does he feel the same way as Lucy? It might be interesting to explore.

I don't think I saw Chapter 3 when it came out, so I had the delight of reading two new chapters at once. I had to laugh when I reached Lucy's allustion to Alice toward the end, because I had been feeling so much Lewis Carroll in the tone of the narrative. (Writers say that one can narrate a story in first person or third person, but I think that what you have here is second person-as warmly welcoming as Kipling's "Just So Stories.") What a delicious, perfectly sustained atmosphere, full of the promise of a noble adventure. I love both the cat and the dogs (their cry of "werewolf" especially), and the officious duck, and the description of the Splendour Hyaline (one of my favorite Lewis names of all time to begin with. Practically perfect in every way, as Travers would say.

Another wonderful chapter! It was interesting to see the contrast between the tranquility of Peter and Lucy's time and the problems of Edmund and Susan's. Quite good. :D

Politics discussed in a mostly interesting manner? This wouldn't, by any chance, mean any sort of... aggressively persuasive diplomacy, would it now? ;)

Very entertaining chapter. I thought the attack was brilliantly played. I love how you just get into the heads of the characters. Your very good at it for all 4 of them. Great story. Please update soon.

Another delightful and entirely engrossing chapter! I love the dialogue - very appropriate to the characters, their ages, and origins, but it doesn't sound forced or anything but perfectly natural, even the way they discuss immportant things. It's direct and honest and deep without being cheesy or cliche. And of course your description perfectly commpliments it. I'm really loving this story!

I'm not sure why, but the thought of the High King with freckles delights me. Perhaps because Peter is always so kingly and grave ... to see him with something as boyish as freckles is charming.

I can understand Lucy's fear of being a queen-despite the maturing effects of the Narnian air, she is still a very little girl, and you handled her worries quite nicely.

I was rather confused at first when the Leopard struck at Susan's horse-thought perhaps he had turned traitor-but then it all came together, and I was ashamed of thinking anything ill of him! Very chilling, the attack. To be perfectly honest, I had almost forgotten about Her forces, so I was almost as surprised as Susan and Edmund. Lune's welcome of them was perfectly in keeping with that kindly King, and I love the touch with Edmund turning queasy at the sight of blood. I get the feeling sometimes that these characters are as real to you as flesh and blood human beings? Because you certainly have the knack for making them that real to your readers!