Only because you twisted my arm so hard. ;)

Anyway, I like the idea and the inherent sorrow in this piece. Bracketting Saturn's actions with the little girl was an interesting touch although her sudden choice to step off the cliff was a little abrupt. At least for me, there was no real shift in the girl's emotions from seemingly contentedly singing to having nothing left to live for. Personally I'm a big fan of emotional description as well as descriptions of the physical world. You seem to have the lyrical physical descriptions down pretty well, which is what gives this story it's strength, but the emotional stuff is a little weak. I noticed only a handful of places where that was even brushed on (ie the lullaby being described as sad and lonely in the beginning of the story and there's a bit in the description of Saturn and the wind). So for my two cents, a story like this, while being good for a short piece, could have a little more emotional punch. But that's just my opinion and you can always tell me (again) that this is one of your early stories so I should take it with a grain of salt. ;)

Later,

Shavaineth

FINALLY! *Falls to the feet of the author* Real, LOVELY Angst! Bloody hell, you don't know how long I have searched for something other then Usagi and Mamoru angst! *Grins* I have three Hotaru-torture fics, all of them are based on Hotaru in deep depression. *squints* One of them is where she destroys the world, and the next one is where she commits suicide, and the last one is where there are mentions of suicides. *Sweatdrops* Erm...yeah. Anyway, very nice and descriptive story!

woah depressing

WOW... this was probably the best Saturn fic I've read so far (and I LOVE Saturn). The ending was sheer excellence. Do you mind if I quote the last line, but give you credit? I really liked it, but one bit of correction, you spelled "glaive" wrong. ;;; Still excellent though!

Meaningful. Very sweet. I love Saturn...:D I really like this kind of story...keep it up!