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| Psuki-chan 2008-07-14 ch 1, | abuseloved it! really great! awesome! all complimets to you:D -Narikou |
| Kari Izumi 2008-04-27 ch 1, | abuseWow! I gotta say this is an amazing story! I can't imagine that the decision to leave the only world Rukia's known to be an easy one, even for love. Unlike many, she hasn't even basic memories of Earth since she died as an infant before developing any. Some of the prose I thought was a bit awkward, but besides that, everything was pretty good. |
| anime4eva11 2008-03-09 ch 1, | abusei think that was really sweet and gave me a really fuzzy warm feeling inside. i really liked it... two thumbs up! |
| Gothic Butterfly 2008-01-04 ch 1, | abuseWell written, but I have to tell you I skimmed through a lot of what you wrote to get to different parts. Does that make since? Good idea, just seemed to be too much in it. |
| Dakyu 2007-11-12 ch 1, | abuseAbsolutely AWESOME!! My only advice here would be to maybe divide it up into a two-shot. its a bit of a doozey all at once, hehe. Grammar was excellent, descriptions great, and overall just oozed awesomeness. Great work!! Dak |
| logan 2007-10-24 ch 1, | abuse(Okay, I will be speaking in plural since this review is actually coming from two people, try not to be weirded out, no mental disorders are involved) you can tell from this fic that you’re not a run of the mill bleach author, and since you obviously have a lot more grounding in the actual craft, we’ll dispense with the inclination to turn this review into a love letter. It’s pretty obvious that you can write, so in the interest of helping you to hone your abilities; we’ll be critical. (and by critical we don’t mean that we intend to flame ) We are inclined to agree with one of your previous reviews that the mood and (for the most part) pacing were both consistently good, and you did a really good job keeping true to the original characters. Ichigo and Rukia have a very complex dynamic, and it is refreshing to see it carried out so well. However, the flip side of that coin is that your biggest mistake in this story comes in the form of character voice. Though Ichigo does tend to use foul language in the series, we feel you took it too far in this piece. In the actual cannon, Ichigo primarily curses in the heat of battle and then to a lesser extent when he’s doing the whole ‘rival thing’ with one of the male characters in the series, yet in this fic he is swearing constantly and it has absolutely no context with about 80% of the story. (That coming primarily at the very end when they are well and truly fighting.) From what we’ve seen in the cannon Ichigo doesn’t use that type of language when relating to Inoue, Rukia, or any of the other female characters, to have him do so internally and verbally in this story comes off as a gross exaggeration of his character voice. Other then the beginning and the end when Ichigo and Rukia are actually arguing, the cursing completely overshadows the rest of the story, which is quite good. You’ve done such a great job with this story that it really isn’t fair to have it all dwarfed by this one prevalent mistake. We aren’t prudes about cursing, so don’t just write this off as frumpy reviewers who want to hear Ichigo saying ‘fiddlesticks’ and their like, but when we come back to review the following day and all we really can remember right off is how Ichigo called Rukia a “fucking midget bitch” about a zillion times, something needs to be fixed. Same goes for Rukia. Another issue we had was where you interjected – I forget the actual grammatical term—so often. They were funny, and we did like them, but you might have been using them a little too often and to the point where they started to make us think of sardonic interjections on the part of the author and not the character; but that was pretty minor. It was a little awkward when you suddenly shifted POV from Ichigo to Rukia without sufficient warning. This could probably be remedied with a hard return – section break-- or some other cosmetic tool to make the shifts less subtle, again just a minor thing. This might be just a case of artistic license, but when you were talking about the rain – at length— you added rain to scenes where there was no actual rain. For instance, when Rukia is remembering the day she joined the Kuchikis… it was pretty much blue skies. This might be more of a personal issue, though since some people feel stronger about maintaining the validity of the cannon than others. We just mention it since it gave us pause. Okay onto the positives. First and foremost, your plot was as good as we have seen in quite a while. It all struck as very believable and did a lot to show that you have a firm grasp on Ichigo and Rukia and what they mean to each other. Their pairing is less a matter of flowers and candy and more an issue of mutual respect so for a romance to be believable between them, it really does need to be handled as this one was. It was very believable between them. Rukia’s reason for keeping her exile from Ichigo and Ichigo’s reaction to having her hide something like that, both were spot on. You’ve really done a great job foreshadowing. It was all done subtly and really works in this fic. “It had been raining that day that Renji had put on a false smile and pushed her away towards the Kuchiki clan, rather then standing and telling her what they both wanted to hear.” to quote my partner: “THIS IS EXACTLY RIGHT!” in that one sentence you summed up Renji and Rukia to a ‘T’ kudos Your images, mood, and setting, were all well handled, also. It may not seem like a big deal, but it really did make a difference that you slowed down to focus on some of the details. We both really were pleased with how you ended this story. Open-ended endings are an underused tool, and it really worked wonderfully here. Please don’t ever feel obligated to give a happy ending for the sake of happy endings alone. Writing fan-fiction isn’t fan-service, per say. Overall, your story was a sight for very sore eyes. good luck on all your future writing endeavors, we look forward to the next story. We give you eight juice boxes out of ten. ^_^ -Logan -Stephanie |
| LadyFord 2007-10-15 ch 1, | abuseAwesomeness. I loved the ending. It doesn't need the happy ending because it isn't a story that's full of happy times. I really hope you elaborate more on how they are going to get thro. I loved it. Your writing gets me every time... |
| White Butterfly 2007-10-13 ch 1, | abuseA bit on the epic side for me, but still nicely written and good to read. The plot was commendable; it held an air of what might, could, happen in canon and it was slightly scary in that respect. Ichigo was lovely in his characterisation and Rukia's guilt and other emotions were spot on too. Thank you for writing this epic IchiRuki! |
| lovefuryaction 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abuseThat was the BEST IchiRuki fic I have EVER READ. Period. It was so beautiful and articulate, i cried. |
| spartydragon 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abuseWow. |
| kyli the wolf hanyou 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abuseNOWAY! THIS WAS SO AWESOME!! I LOVED IT! |
| megami kitty 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abusei believe the ending was perfect. an ooc rukia would've ruined the mood you set for the story. this is a beautifully written piece; sad, but still beautifully written. =) |
| cricketchick1990 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseOMFG. That was amazing. I can't believe this, it is honestly brilliant. Which means, that you have to write more surely. It would be brilliant as a two part plus story, especially if you had Ichigo actually try and get Rukia unbanished, like the pigheaded idiot he usually is lol! And seeing you now have several reviews asking for another chapter, it's definately not a co-incidence, so you should definately write more! Let us all know k? Great fic! |
| Kane Shi Megami 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseWell you certainly deserve more than three reviews for this wonderful piece. Great work, loved the emotion and everything you pulled out of me while reading. Great setting and the mood was consistent throughout and flowed well. |
| CascadingIris 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseWow. This was profound. It was amazingly written, and you conveyed very raw emotion so convincing. I loved it. :) |