This entire thing is very difficult to read, so first off, how about you learn to space things correctly so your readers don't get a headache? Then, this story is nonsensical and stupid. No one is described well and is out of character. Seriously, did you even try to write well, or are you just naturally daft? Perhaps the former, in which case, it doesn't really matter. This was a bad piece, let's hope this isn't your normal writing style.

Cute sad story. I like this one a lot. Shame Ashe had to die though. Loved it anyways!

~~Mayflower Kudo~

I would like to read this, I really, really would. And that's not sarcasm, I sincerely would like to. But I can't bring myself to because it's just... three big blocks of words!

Dialogue, when coming from a new speaker, begins on a new line. So instead of:

“Majesty!” I heard Basch’s voice echo in the silent halls of the Royal Palace of Rabanastre. “B-Basch!” I could hear her crying outside my bedchamber. “It-it’s Lady Ashe!”

The proper way to space it, a way that is much easier on the eyes, is like this:

“Majesty!” I heard Basch’s voice echo in the silent halls of the Royal Palace of Rabanastre.

“B-Basch!” I could hear her crying outside my bedchamber. “It-it’s Lady Ashe!”

I got rid of the center sentence just for sake of making it shorter and simpler.

Please try to follow this form in the future. It will only reward you in the end!

A tragic tale, yes... I truly admire your style of writing. This is one of the best stories you've written.

That was really dark... wow. Definitely different! But still good. :)

~*~ landis icelilly ~*~

aww~ sweet^^ it was quite hard to read though, cuz it wasn't spaced out enough.. generally good though^~^

very shakesperian... tragic yet nice however. The text is, although, a little confuse sometimes but is still nice.