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| Yumenori 2007-11-23 ch 1,  | abuseEh, to be honest, it wasn't that great. I mean, reading he was going to sing sort of made me cringe. But that's just me. Haru could or could not do it. I can see him either way. But the writing style was horrific. Okay, that was too mean... Not horrific. More like hard to follow, because you switched from his thoughts to her thoughts and back and forth between characters without really showing it. So it was hard to tell who was thinking what about who... and blah blah. Maybe you should try italicizing thoughts? And add a line, such as, "Kyo thought to himself" so we know who is thinking it. Do every thought line like this one: Rin felt a cold draft and thought ‘It feels like he’s looking straight through me…’ So it was just really hard to follow, is all. A common mistake, so work on that, will ya? xD |
| furubaitsumo 2007-11-02 ch 1, | abuseAW i love haru and rin good job! |
| RaiderTKD 2007-11-01 ch 1, | abuseWell, aside from the random Japanese words appearing back there, the story was really nice, and I loved how the Haru fangirls sounded like they were plotting something against Rin. XD |
| demond dancer 2007-10-26 ch 1, | abusethat was great i can kinda see that happening! |
| Mafe Ly 2007-10-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseHi!! It's very cute! I love they together! Kisses |
| Elric-Chan 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuseI liked this story, I found it cute and amusing at the same time. Haru does seem like the person to have a hidden singer within him. A bit of advice: don't use random Japanese in your stories. I noticed right off the bat that you used demo, baka, and neko. This shows that you only know those words, and it makes authors look somewhat foolish. Using them randomly like that is never a good thing. Please don't take offense; I'm a big senior writer here and love giving advice, especially when I think it could help others become better writers. Overall, pretty good story. ~Elric-Chan |
| RinHaru4ever 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuseAw... Haru showing his love for Rin in front of everyone... Let hope the Haru fangirl aren't planning to get Rin. |