This is story is really good. I started reading the first five chapters of the revised version and just went from there. Digimon was my favorite show when I was 8 years old. I don't watch it anymore but reading this brought back good memories. I also like your writing style and can easily hear your distinct voice. Plus there's all those "Cheers!" and whatnot. I'll read the rest of the dimensional books and let you know what I think.

Vine Sliver

Good story. I liked it a lot.

great story

I, like yourself am a huge Digimon fan. A few days ago I decided to hunt some fan fiction, which I haven't done in ages. I came across your story/page and I admit, I was impressed and intrigued with all of your planning and pre-thought story line. So I figured, what the heck, this guy seems to know what he's doing I'll give it a read. Admittedly, right away I was like "Oh god, he's shipping Rukato!" Which is something I have never been a fan of. But, after reading this first book you have made me a fan! Which is really hard to do... but now, because of you, I am a Rukato fan! =P Anyway, the reason I like your story so much is because I can picture it going along with the show, the story line is different, new, yet believable in the context of the show... which is something I like to find in fan fictions =) Also, the length and timelines of the story are great, not too long, not too short... just right in my opinion! So job well done, you have my attention, I've got like six more books to catch up on, but expect reviews from me from now on ;P

~IC

Ok, the end of book one and my first round of reviews. I liked the way you did the little snippets and made it look like an actual diary. I also liked the way you only made subtle hints as to what happened on each day and left yourself room to do a one shot or to expand on it with a later story. Very good use of clues and all around great Terriermon torture. It’s hard to pick my favorite part from this as they were all very good. In the end, Takato wishing to see Rika in a swimsuit just couldn’t compete with this one grand one liner.

The other girls noticed my heightened mood and a rumour spread that I was on anti-depressants.

I fell out of my chair reading that one. Good job with this story, it’s really good. You’ve got a knack for the show and its characters, something not many people ever did, and ever fewer who write still do. I just wish there was a series out there as big as yours that didn’t include oc’s. Yeah, dumb of me to say considering that 90% of my work centers on one, and no I did not steal his name from the show, I came up with it long before watching digimon. My only point is that the only truly epic stories out there for any series are flooded with ocs, which is kind of sad since to a degree it takes away a piece from the series it’s based on. The few decent length stories out there that don’t revolve around oc’s are dark, depressing, and for the most part, just plain sad. People come here to get away from the real world, not relive it.

Keep up the great work, and please continue writing this series. It’s pretty rare for me to find anything this good anymore on the entire site, let alone the Digimon section which unfortunately seems to be almost as infected with yioa as Naruto, Inuyasha, and Dot Hack.

I cant wait to get started on my second reading of book 2, as it was my second favorite (book three was the best). Till next time, Ja ne!

Another very well done chapter, though I was a bit disappointed by one part. Again I reiterate your needed to get with an artist for this story. Renamon with a cell phone? That NEEDS to be done. The mental image is hilarious but to see the actual thing would be even better.

I couldn’t help but notice that Henry is not entirely innocent, as my favorite line from the chapter proved.

“Hey, what’s up Takato, this is affecting you more than I thought it would?” he asked. Of course, he knew the reason, but he wanted to hear what Takato would say.

Looks like Terriermon’s influence is strong enough to corrupt even the most honorable of humans lol.

Jeri facing her fears was very well done, though I do expect to see Leomon and Beelzemon have a rematch fight in the future since Beelzemon cheated when…well, you know, killed him. Despite having forgiven him, Leomon’s a warrior, and warriors hate losing, especially to cheaters. So I think its within reason for a fight or two between them, so long as it doesn’t get out of hand.

The IceDevimon part is my only gripe. Since I’ve read your other stories, I know what happens, and I realize that it was important for Chaos to have a big intro/ But, despite Chaos being a part of Takato, having him kill IceDevimon kind of takes away from the battle and the moment. Chaos is a higher being of sorts, and has no real equal other than Harmony in terms of power. So even though he and Takato are one and the same, his power and Takato’s are separate. The ultimate display of Takato’s power is Gallantmon Crimson Mode, and I felt that he should have been the one to deal with evil ice cube. Maybe for the rewrite you’ve got you could have that some how. Again, not that the chapter wasn’t good, jus that I felt that Takato relied on something other than his own strength. Besides, both time’s Crimson Mode has been activated were less than fifteen seconds after something happening to Rika. The first time could be pure coincidence due to the timing of her giving all her power to Ryo then getting attacked to Gallantmon getting whooped and Grani coming in, but the second time from what I hear is a lot harder to explain away so easily, and judging by the few shots I can find of it, the others apparently thought it was only a one time thing from fighting the D-Reaper.

Over all great chapter, lots of emotion, and a good mix of action, drama, fluff and humor. Keep up the good work, I can’t wait to read the next one.

Till next time, Ja Ne!

This was a very good chapter. A bit bittersweet, but still very well done. Jeri will always have that wound, even if Leomon is brought back, she knows how it feels to lose her partner, something that none of the others have ever faced (not counting the reincarnation thing with *ahem* some characters). Even after its healed, she’ll have a scar from it for the rest of her life.

Oh, and I’ve got to say, you’ve got Impmon down pat. Most people make him an annoyance or an idiot. He is neither, he’s a prankster and a troublemaker, there’s a difference. Also because of his past he’s very…rounded out. He’s walked both sides of the line and walked the line for most of his life. Due to this, he’s probably one of the most insightful members of the group, and would be able to tell if something’s off or wrong with someone better than anyone. He’s like the groups unofficial counter spy. He’d know and recognize a person, or digimon’s intentions for what they really were, no matter how good an actor they are.

Also the entire Sensei part was probably my favorite in this chapter. He seems to be a very open minded person and takes just about anything and everything in stride. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s this universes Jeni (I think that’s how his name is spelled but its been a while) Terriermon’s attack at poor Henry’s wits and mental stability were also very well done. The little guys pretty observant, not to mention his wits about as sharp as Rika’s temper. I hope to see A LOT more of him in the future.

Favorite quote: “Ugh, my blood hurts”

Even if it was taken from homestar runner, it was the funniest thing he ever said in the series.

I do wonder though where Sense get’s all those lines of his. Fortune cookies? Magic 8 ball? They always turn out true, and seem to follow a formula….bahh, I’m looking too much into it.

The whole bush part was also well done. Poor Henry, I wonder where Terriermon picked up his gutter mind from lol. Also, him gagging at Rika and Takato, I seem to recall him hitting on Lopmon at least once in the show, so he hasn’t got much room to talk, espically with him trying to ‘push’ Henry.

Points to Impmon for volunteering for something that has a one in three chance of frying him btw. Also, just out of curiosity, how did Rika’s grandma know to call Takato?

Anyways, I look forward to the next one.

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Hmm, The Digital Typhoon actually has a oneshot with the same title as this chapter. It’s pretty good all around, but unfortunately is just that, a oneshot.

I’m not familiar with the term Purple Prose, so you’ll have to forgive me, but I might be able to help with Ryo, that is if its of any use at this point. A good approach to his character would be to combine post Digimon Emperor Ken with Season 1 Tai. He’s a good guy, and fairly nice to those around him, but he’s a bit cocky, a show off, and as hardheaded as they come.

I did want to point out one little thing with this chapter. Rika’s shirt seems to have changed. Back a chapter of two you specifically said broken heart, whereas here you say full heart. I don’t know if that’s a mistake or if she has a mood shirt of sorts lol.

Hmm, I don’t know why she would knock Takato’s ‘hair brained scheme’ around when Kazu’s home made blue card worked fighting the Devai a while back, and created Guilmon in the first place.

As for Terriermon’s boredom, I point out the Tetris option lol. This was a good chapter. I liked Terriermon’s attempt to calm Henry down. He might be a guy, but I swear he worries like an old woman sometimes. I guess coming from a large family makes someone a bit more aware of their surroundings, especially where their friends are concerned. Good job, and keep up the good work.

Till next time, Ja Na!

Ok, I do wonder why Rika suddenly turned into a coward. I don’t remember her ever running from a problem, usually she sent them running lol. Though I guess everyone has a limit to how much emotional turmoil they can take, and she just reached hers.

I do hold a bit of a grudge against Kenta though. The only time I ever got, or get to sleep that late is if I’m sick. I’ve had to get up a six am every morning since I was five! Lazy bum. Oh, I did like how you wrote Jeri in the chapter. Innocent, but not naïve, that’s the way you seem to write her I noticed, which I think fits her perfectly. Most people write her as the Hinata of Digimon. Leomon himself said she had the heart of a lion, and there is a big difference between a lion and a sheep. Keep up the good work with Jeri!

Oh, and the whole part with Kazu, Kenta and Jeri, it reminded me of Ken and Yaruchu from Bleach. Powerful, good friends of the main hero’s, and unfortunately have the sense of direction of a dead pigeon lol. Also I loved the bit about Jeri turning into another Rika, I almost feel sorry for Kazu and Kenta.

Almost

Hmm I wonder if time travel has come into play here? I recall one point ater down the road where Henry comes up with a plan out of nowhere, and the foods Terriermon described bring back some *shudders* memories of helping take care of one of my aunts when she was pregnant. Do you by any chance incorporate time paradoxes into your work? Not asking for spoilers, its just that one of my stories does and if you are, I’ll be paying a bit closer attention to see if I can learn a thing of two. Not many authors have the guts to try writing em, and the few that do…don’t do a very good job….ok they down right suck, but the point is if you are, then that might no longer be true.

The bit with Sensei was also very good. I feel bad for the old guy though. Out of nowhere getting an e-mail like that lol. It’s like some girl telling her parents she’s run off to Vegas to get married and that she’s pregnant via text message. Actually, it reminds me of something you’d hear on Opra…hey, theirs an idea for a oneshot or a chapter or Different Dimensions. Have the entire group (yes, I mean the one effective after book three) appear on Opra to tell their stories and raise the public opinion. Though TK and Davis sitting on each side of Karia, along with Tai and Matt sitting around Sora on Jerry Springer has its draws as well….Ken…he’d wind up on an episode of Dr Phil lol. Seriously though, Opra is a powerful force within the universe, able to sway public opinion like a magic wand, sometimes with scary effects. Think about it. At best it’s a way to help their image, at worst you have a series of omakes or possible oneshots that will split most people open with stitches of laughter. Lastly, I agree, Thomas is nowhere near Henry’s level. Thomas is like, royalty, and is rich. He can afford to take any lessons from anyone, Henry is self taught, and four years younger. Besides, if they were to get into a fight, MegaGargomon would pwon MirageGaomon any day of the week and twice on Friday.

Ahh, I wish you’d get with someone over at divantart with this story. I’d pay for a pic of Princess Prewty Pants Kenta if I had the money lol. I can see it now, him running out of the apartment with Kazu rolling on the floor laughing and Jeri shaking her head. Good times….TG I don’t have to babysit anyone like that *shudders*

The song. I wish I could actually hear it, as it’s been reported that the actress that played as Rika for the English version has a beautiful singing voice. I’ll be trying to get my hands on a copy of the series soon, just need to let my resources recoup. As for the song itself, I think it actually has quite a few references to Takato, though that could just be the musings of a shipper, it could also make sense if you think about it. From what I gather it originally applied to her father, who either left her and her mother or died (I can’t find which on any site, so I’ll have to find out from the move when I get it) but then Takato took his place. The first stanza could be how Takato would not leave her alone, despite her vocal protest to his existence, the second reminds me of when he first saw her in his ‘dream/vision’ (the single largest piece of proof for the Rukato fan base)the third stanza would be what he did in the real world during the D-Reaper incursion, her making bread was the first time I remember her actually smiling and not smirking as well as hearing her give a remotely girly laugh, and his taking charge of the group when things turned grim. The fourth stanza was when the returned from the digital world and he went with Jeri to take her home, I seem to recall Rika looking over her shoulder as they walked separate ways. The last stanza is the only one I don’t know, but from what I gather it might have to do with the end of the Locomon movie. Again, these might be my musings of madness, but then again the Japanese are big into fate and destiny, and Takato dreaming of Rika, then meting her the next day, and then all the changes she made after becoming friends with him is nothing short of monumental. Compare the Rika the jumped into the chasm to save Calumon and then returned to ask if Takato was ok with the one from the dream, if one had a different hair style they would pass easily for two completely different people that both happened to have a Renamon for a partner.

Great chapter, good character development and interaction all around. The..urm, fluffy moment was actually well done. Most people overdue it and tend to forget these are twelve to fourteen year olds, and while kids grow up fast these days, they don’t grow up that fast…hopefully….I feel old lol.

The start was a bit much, poor Rika…but the shift to the others was done well. I wonder when someone’s going to try and program Tetris onto their digivice. (For the sake of the few brain cells I have left, I’ll refer to all human digimon energy transponders as digivices in my reviews rather than the myriad’s of names they have.) I mean, why not? Leela’s wrist band thing on Futrarama had it?

Also, why didn’t the others just fly? Terriermon could have gone Rapidmon, between him, Cyberdramon and Guardromon the whole group could have flow the distance. Though if they had done so they wouldn’t have been in such a mood when they arrived, which means Takato never would have heard Rika sing, etc etc, ok so it was for the best I guess.

For future reference I would like to point out one tiny little thing. Guilmon never used contractions when he spoke, its ont of the things that made him seem more childlike in the show. You know, can not instead of cant.

Oh, one question. WHERE DOES TERRIERMON GET THIS STUFF! Is Henry leading a double life? Cause I know it aint Susie or his folks. Not that I’m complaining, its just that he comes off a bit…well versed in the ways of the real world. Lying, cheating, stealing…how much time did he spend around Impmon?

Overall a very nice chapter, though I think Ryo was a bit over the top, as was Henry. He had a temper I remember, but he never directed it at his friends unless they deserved it, and in this case, Rika didn’t. She was looking for her partner, and only did what any one of them would have.

I look forward to the next chapter, till then, Ja Ne!

Well it looks like Rika got her two kids back, though she shares them with Jeri and..uhh, I know the boy’s name is Marko, I think the girls Ai, but I’m not sure. Impmon and Calumon brought out her maternal instincts, at least partially in the show, so I know that she has a soft spot for the two. Besides, Calumon is just too good not to have around. It’s (not sure if its he or she) like Guilmon as far as innocence goes, but is able to get away with more due to its appearance.

It was good to see the reserve Tamers again. Kenta especially, the annoying friend that poor Rika has no choice but to put up with till the end of time lol. Jeri, you have her a bit different from how I figured she’d be, but your’s is actually a lot better. I figured she’d become a bit more dependent on others after everything was done and over with. Yours is a lot like the original pre-Leomon Jeri, but with a bit more confidence.

Ok, now be honest, did you get the idea of them walking through the paper doors from the Simpsons? The part where Homer and Bart were in jail was pretty much the same, just not as funny. I’m surprised that Guilmon didn’t start running around through all the walls lol.

Great chapter btw, and keep up the good work. I look forward to the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Ok, I’d like to point out that I now think Rika is somehow related to Masaru (aside from her playing as his little sisters voice of course) If memory serves, Locomon is a ultimate, or at the very least champion level, and she severally weakened his door with only a few strikes, that is not something that just anyone could pull off as both Davis and Tai so…apty proved in seasons one and two respectively….actually, the more I think about it, the more similarities I see between them. Red hair, violent, an air head for a mother, and has daddy issues along with a distinct lack of emotional development for someone their age. Maybe their cousins?

BTW, End of the Line means last stop before returning to the garage, or in a trains case, yard. So what he said was still right.

Favorite line for the chapter:

“Well, the cream and green foodball here decided to steal their chocolate milkshakes.” Monodramon replied.

It is good to have Terriermon back, he’s half the reason I used to watch the show back…oh lord, eight years ago? Has it really been that long? Geeze, now I feel old lol.

Great chapter, and I look forward to your next one. Till next time, Ja Ne!

At this point I was wondering if it would be worth keeping track of the number of times Takato used Rika for an airbag, but gave up after remembering the rest of your work lol. It does say one thing though, the girls tough as nails, though her blushing shows that despite her usual demeanor, she’s still got girl emotions. Early in the series if this had happened she’d hit whoever it was upside the head, then drop kick them and walk away.

My favorite part of this chapter:

Takato yelled as he fell flat down on his face. Henry turned to glare at Rika.
“What…I didn’t do anything! It’s still typical Gogglehead though, tripping over his own feet like that.”

Poor Rika, she’s really got a rep doesn’t she? I am surprised that you left out the Locomon part from your series, as that is a huge source of the ships ‘ammo’ in the shipping wars. Oh, and Rika dragging him caveman style was hilarious. You should try to get someone on Diventart to do some work for your series, maybe even rerelease it with art in it? I’ve seen some authors do that on this site, they have a link to a site as their homepage that has pictures inserted with the text to make a graphic novel of sorts. Just an idea.

You did a great job with the Rika/Takato interaction here. She’s like a clam, opening when she feels safe and shutting fast when she even thinks something is up. Again, you kept their reactions in character for both them, and for teenagers in general, a difficult thing to do. Keep it up.

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Well this was a very good chapter for the most part. The transitions from one perspective to another were a bit patchy, but aside from that it was very well done. I would have gone through each character start to finish one at a time, starting with Takato, then Henry and lastly Rika, but that’s just how I would have done it. Your method is good, but is more reminiscent of how an actual tv show would be done.

As for the chapter itself, it was very well done. Rika ripped out some old wounds for the others, namely the betrayal they suffered from the adults fears and hurrying to get the juggernaut up and running again. They should have told the kids upfront. Though they would have been upset, I’m pretty sure they would have understood and helped, but the way they went about it was like a slap in the face for all their hard work. I’ll never forget that last scene with Henry in 03, where his father begged for forgiveness and his only response was a head shake.

I did enjoy how you showed each of the characters rubbing off on one another. Rika’s boldness helping Henry stand his ground, and Takato to make his move. Also Henry’s sense of care for family casued Takato to actually tell his parents the complete truth, and Rika to ask for help on how to speak with her mother. Lastly, Takato’s occasional bout of leadership gave Henry the last push for Yamaki, while his tendency to seek out others for comfort has helped open Rika up a bit, very well done.

I like the way you write all the characters, but your specialty seems to be Rika. You have her as the most natural of the group, keeping her dialog in character and her general mood as well. Takato you have a bit…wimpier, not a lot, just that he did stand for himself on more than one occasion. The only character you kinda roughed a bit was Henry. You have him very well done, but you tend to have him take a much more active roll in your work than he had in the series. Not that that’s bad, its just something I noticed. He was more of a support character with leading roll tendencies in my book. Not that he did get his fare share of the limelight, it just seemed to me the main points of the show were Rika and Takato’s maturing and developing into young teenagers. Henry was a guide, sage, and brother for them, but he had already developed to that point thanks to his family situation.

Goo work, and I cant wait to read the next one! Till then, Ja Ne!

I told you I’d be reviewing soon lol, it just took me a bit longer to get through that last book than I thought, *stupid real life*.

First, I liked the way you kept the characters in character, something that many people fail miserably, especially when it comes to Rika. As long as they aren’t writing anything romantic they can pull her off, but when they try to pair her up with anyone its horribly ooc. The best I’ve seen is writing her as a less hostile more open version of Asuka Langly Sarou (forgive my spelling). She’s not devoid of emotions, they’ve just atrophied from disuse. Henry is hard because most people make him a bit too touchy feely and seem to forget his triple digit IQ. Lastly, Takato, most people have him as a cowardly idiot with less common sense than a pine cone. As events from the episode ‘Not as seen on TV’ proved, this is far from being true. You’ve got a good grasp on the characters, as well as the character web for the series. (How the characters are connected and interact with one another.)

My opinion on the main paring for this is that it is in fact cannon. Not because it’s my favorite Digimon paring, but because of evidence the series provided, and, in part, thanks to the D-Reaper. Rika stared off as a B in every since of the word. She was an ice queen with the personality of a popsicle and a heart to match. But as early as the fourth episode, this started to change. She gradually became comfortable with the others as well as herself. She kept her edge though, which I am thankful for as it’s what separated her from every other Digi-human of any season. Likewise, thanks to her Takato became less naïve and a bit more serious, as well as a solid leader. Jeri, who had a god chance lost it with the whole D-Reaper fiasco, not because she’s at fault though, its kinda due to my take on Takato’s personality. More than likely he would have been there for and with her every step of the way, forming a very close bond with her, almost to the point of siblingship, another words, too close for romance.

I think my favorite part for this chapter was the phone bit:

“Um…yeah…so why are you calling?”
“TO CONTINUE, INSERT 50 YEN”
“…”
“click”
“Takato?”

Lol, pure gold man, keep it up. I look forward to reading more from you soon.

Till next time, Ja Ne!