Reviews for The Forgotten - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: The Forgotten

Skyraptor66 2007-10-22 ch 1,	abuseNice. I applaud you for writing about two of the game's more neglected characters. Seriously, who actually cared about the two guys who were killed at the beginning of the game (and with only one or two lines of dialogue other than "AGH!"). Then we meet their wives after what feels like twenty years, and it's like: "Oh, sorry about that. At least he died for a good cause," and then we just brush the whole thing off and move on to more important matters. How compassionate. The wives themselves begin to rationalize pretty quickly in the game, but that's understandable considering their husbands are working as body guards, for heaven's sake. I like how you really build on their emotions. I would be at least a little pissed at Xelha too for being the general reason for my husband's death and not even managing to bring me back something of his. I also like how the second wife deals with her husband's death a different way by retreating into her own little world. A moving exploration. I'd like to see more.
Strawberry Eggs 2007-10-17 ch 2,	abuseWow...she took that very differently compared to Leon's wife. She's clearly in denial, even though she knows deep down that he IS dead. The shock of it must've been tremendous to make her keep repeating that it was all a joke and that any minute now her husband would jump in and shout "surprise!, I was faking it!" I think you conveyed her reaction very well. :) People react differently to tragedies such as these, and having someone think it's a joke, even when he/she doesn't believe it his/herself is realistic. Her feelings of shock, denial and hidden acceptance came across clearly to me. Overall, I thought this was an excellent two-shot. I think you wrote it very well and I throughly enjoyed reading it. :) Heh, peer pressure. Honestly, I could use some of that to speed up my stories...
Fan Fan Girl 2007-10-16 ch 2,	abuseYay! I am here to review again. Sorry it took so long... I've been busy all day... :/ And oh my gosh. By what you wrote in your profile, I totally know how you feel about reviews. I'm the same way! I'll just sit here... staring... waiting for someone to look at the dern story and just reivew... Hahha. So sorry about the lateness. Well, you've completed another two-chaptered story. I envy you! You start and finish yours in like days flat. XD Amazing. But you're a really good writer, so keep it up. It was cool that this chapter and the first one were so different from each other. I thought that Gram's wife would talk about just slightly different things than Leon's but it turned out to be a completely different reaction. Good creativity. The only veryveryvery slight flaw was that sometimes she just kept talking about how he must be kidding, and it got a little repetitive. But from what I can tell, that's the whole premise of the chapter, so don't worry about it. :3 It was also good to see that at first she was very sure of herself, but her beliefs slowly broke down... She keeps lying to herself in her thoughts, but we can tell that she's really grieving. Very nice work. So keep it up! I like your style because it's straightforward and understandable. I could learn a lesson or two from you... heh. But yeah. I look forward to your next project! ...There is a next project, right? (...peerpressuremuahaha) PS Typo in the chapter titles... Might want to fix "Jelousy."
Strawberry Eggs 2007-10-14 ch 1,	abuseWell, I haven't read much Baten Kaitos fanfiction as of yet, but from what I've seen, it is indeed the first of it's kind. You never really think much about it in the game; after the Saber Dragon kills Gram and Leon and Kalas and Xelha take care of it, you just carry the Warrior's Memento(s?)) and never give it a second thought. If you're me, by the time you finally reach Wazn, the Mementos would've turned into the Warrior's Memories hours ago. I think this is an excellent, and very believable insight into how Leon's wife would think after being told the news. As for constructive criticism...I really don't have much to say. I spotted no errors grammar, structure, or canon-wise. The length and pacing is just right for a story of this nature. All and all, I think you did an excellent job on it. So yes, this was well done! :)
Fan Fan Girl 2007-10-13 ch 1,	abuseOh my gosh... I LOVE YOU. I'm pretty sure that this story is the only of its kind in the BK section and I want to thank you for that. I love seeing good ideas and talent in this section because BK was such a cool game. The way this story shows an often forgotten substory with such realism and honest bitterness is awesome. The Ice Queen's subjects all seem to worship her in the game, but it seems that this one shows humanity in her jealousy... VERY well written. I love it when different angles of a person's feelings and motivations are shown (whether he/she is a main character or not) and you did this nicely. My favorite line was, "But there is so much everyone else doesn’t see." So true... Great job. Please, please, please keep it up!

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