That hurts, in a really numbed and distant sort of way. On the one hand there is this reassuring presence right here, and hope to the future, but on the other the irrecoverble loss... You made a delicate balance crafting all these elements together; I heartfully applaud the result. Charming work.

It's different and unique. Loved it!!

Very interesting idea...thanks for the read.

I know I should say SOMETHING in regards to the fic, but to be honest I'm kinda speechless. It was definitely different, and I really liked it. GREAT WORK!

I can't stop re-reading this fic over and over again. The angle that you took with Chaos effectively living Vincent's life is one that I really loved.
Tifa's point of view perfectly showed her confusion and pain. Throughout the story you could see the painful hints of both her want to love the real Vincent, and how much he was, in his own way, begging her to love him for what he really was even though he KNEW he wasn't who she loved in the first place.

As always your insight into Vincent's Demons was perfect and brought Chaos to a level where he became so much more than just a fancy limit break.

I'm not just kissing your ass when I say this, but I think this is the best VincentxTifa fic I have ever read. This story is just amazing, on so many levels, many of which have already been hinted to in other reviews, I'll just try to add my piece. (and run-on sentences)

When I began reading this, I was disappointed right away with the first person pov, but as others have already stated, it really couldn't be any other way. I ended up LOVING it. We got a chance to 'feel' what Tifa was feeling and 'grow' right along with her. It was fantastic.

There are so many twists and turns to this story, it's like you take our emotions for a ride from beginning to end. I'd like to point out the ones that stuck out to me.

One, I couldn't believe that Tifa fell in love with Chaos, and when the 'real' Vincent tells her that Chaos loved her too...well, it was damn powerful. I think it was only powerful b/c of the way you made Chaos a part of Vincent.

Then of course, the way you made Chaos a part of Vincent was intense in itself. I guess I've never thought of it that way, but it was absolutely brilliant. I cannot say enough how fantastic of an idea it was. It made the story for me.

When I finally caught on, about which Vincent we were seeing, it struck such a chord with me. I've long been a fangirl of Vincent and for the first time I wanted to cry tears of happiness instead of tears of pity or sorrow. It was such a profound moment in the relationship between Vincent and I, it's been months since I felt anything but annoyance for him and what fandom has made him.

The way Tifa struggles with this is so real, without making her seem disturbed for falling for him in the first place. How really could you deal with the situation she's in? Growing to know and love someone that isn't the 'real' person. That she thinks of parallels with Cloud is a nice touch as well.

And Vincent, I think you have him showing through in a great, but subtle way. I like that he's not all happy-go-lucky, he's still retained his 'Vincentness', but at the same time the reader can feel that this is a totally different person. (if that makes any sense)

I've forgotten most of the rest of what I wanted to say now that it's getting late, just know that this is a beautiful, touching story. Thank you so much for sharing!

This story was absolutely stunning. You have an amazing gift for bringing the characters to life, and that is rare amoung writers. Thank you for lending your talent to this pairing!

what the crap...? too confusing for me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT!

for you not being used to writing in that style, you did an excellentjob. I loved this. Just wish there could be more. You have a way of writing the ppl who read your stories, feel like they are in it. I start reading something of yours, and I can't stop. I gotta read it until im finished.

Love your work!

It took me a few days to read this, sneaking a peek whenever I could while we were in Seattle, and finally finishing it up today once we got home. I really need to go back and read it all again, straight through, because I'm sure reading it in chunks made me miss things, but I'm still glad that I made time for it. I really need to make time for all of your other work that I've fallen behind on, even if it's during class. ;)

I love how somber this is. Someone else mentioned that it doesn't veer off into melodramatics, and so often somber fiction does.

And the concept is so novel, yet makes so much sense when you think about it. I've always liked the idea of Chaos having his own distinct personality, but never thought of it like this. It's so fitting to see Vincent as a ghost - literally, and not just figuratively.

I don't know if you intended to take this any further, but I think there's a lot of potential. Even if not for more chapters, maybe for more one shots in the same universe. I'd love to see this concept develop further, if you had anything else in mind. =)

Wow.

I'm stunned. Really - this was a much more powerful piece than I was expecting. At first I was thinking 'eh, not another Chaos as his own personality thing' and then I get to the end and I'm sitting here with that odd feeling of almost tears. Not choked up, you know - but that tight feeling in the throat and chest, and like my head is the wrong size. Like reality just bent sideways for a moment and I've got to figure everything out again.

I give kudos. Not many fics get that reaction from me.

Sorry it took me this long to review. I got road hypnosis on the way over here, and I couldn't make sense in writing of what I wanted to say.

Since the only thing I could read before I left was the first paragraph, I kept turning it over and over in my head all the way to the uni. I like how with each passing day, she seems to grow more uncomfortable with the wait. Her reluctance to start the nightly routine of closing down, putting things in their place tells me that she's stalling. Sunrise catches her at it, each time proving how ineffective she is at stopping time. As I read further on, and see her thoughts more clearly, I know she stalls every night because each day that passes means one day closer to accepting he's dead. She's not ready.

"I tell myself I can't be grieving if I still have hope, but I'm beginning to think that my 'hope' is actually something more like denial. It's a denial that's slowly fading, after weeks of waiting for a sign, anything at all to prove that I'm not hoping in vain."

This is the paragraph that tells me I am right, one more day means one less chance. And then, a strange thing happens, and perhaps she's admitting it for the first time:

"Being alone in it makes me feel left behind, but there's an odd sense of connection there, in absorbing myself in it. I know it's wrong, but I can't seem to let go."

"Then I remember that I don't want to be where Cloud was a year ago, and that I should take my own advice."

It's that pesky reasoning, that logic that your brain dictates, and to her it's not exactly the right thing to follow, and she treats it rather like a temptation: to give up, and to move forward with life. She couldn't be more real. I've seen that behavior up close (and though I am not sure it's where the inspiration for this piece came from, but that LJ post about soldiers I wrote? My friend acted exactly the same way, and I am tickled to see this here, it's almost as if you had spoken to her too)

And then just as she has "given up for the night", surrendered to time, he comes. Oh, not the one she expected, of course.

"I can't believe he's you."

Even if I had not known before the premise of this piece, this particular line would have hit me like an anvil. It's placed in just the spot to tell the reader something is not exactly jiving, and beyond the change in appearance, Tifa senses it from the start.

It makes me smile now, in my second reading of this to figure out they are meeting face to face for the very first time. It's plainly written in the way he looks at her from the beginning, and yet she doesn't get it until much later.

I could go on and dissect every nuance, every little expression, but I gather it would take me all day, and I'd still be leaving much out. (not to mention I'd miss my 1pm class) So I hope you don't mind if I just condense my impressions from here on?

I think it was very effective to use the first person present tense, because it forces the readers to make the discoveries through her eyes, and that is the point of view that matters more. We also get to learn just how meticulously observant Tifa is, and it explains a lot about her personality, and it goes far beyond a polite, shy exterior. She's astute, intelligent and very self-aware, and perhaps this is why she eventually is so emphatic towards others.

The difference between _that_ Vincent and _this_ Vincent is very palpable. I get a sense of them being absolutely separate from each other and yet, there is a connection, a commonality, and like Tifa, I wonder if it comes from the nerves in the body, or from some sense of sharing memories or feelings.

It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch her come to realize she's been waiting for one man and she gets a different one in return. The more I read it, the more it reminds me of how war changes people, and the more I am seeing echoes of what I witness in those who stay behind to wait for a father, a brother, a husband, a friend.

But it isn't over; not really. Along with her realization (or rather his admission), she has to deal with a fractured sense of loss. She has to reorganize her feelings, and come to terms with things that weren't, things that aren't, and things that could be. What a monumental task you've given Tifa, and of course, one can't expect her to just immediately get over feelings she's harbored for a while and open herself up to someone she doesn't REALLY know.

Oh gosh, there is so much! There are a lot of feelings hidden behind little pockets and turns of phrase. I am going to have to nod and agree with what TJ Pirate said. Those are some of the things that struck me too. I am so sorry, this review feels so rushed to me. I hate that!

Hmm, I am truly touched that you wrote this story for me. It is certainly a very innovative premise, and I loved how I feel like I don't know this Vincent either, it makes it so much easier to sympathize with Tifa. I promise I will eventually return and try to flesh out my feelings on this better, maybe take up where I left off here. I loved it, thank you!

I gotta stop now, gotta shower and run off to class. :(

I think I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but when I see your fics in my inbox it instantly makes me excited. That was just profoundly impacting. I've been meaning to leave a review for the past few days (I did read it when you posted) but I just really felt the need to read it a few times before I tried to describe how entirely enjoyable it was. That being said, it was probably one of the most melancholy stories I have read in a while. It's just so...wow. I really never thought of Chaos as anything other than a possession, like, something Vincent couldn't control but completely separate from who he was as a person. Thinking that Chaos was actually the Vincent everyone got to knew, I've just never thought of it in that way before.

Thinking of Chaos as something with a personality, with feelings. I suppose even Demons could have that sort of existence too, fallen angels. How heartbreaking it would be to have someone you love die and then have someone who exists in the same body, the real persona, reappear and make you relive that grief. This whole idea completely got me going, and watching Tifa have to come to terms with the fact that she would have to reacquaint herself with the real Vincent, sans Chaos, completely believable and moving. Honestly one of the best reads I have had in a really long time.
Thank you for taking the time to write and post it.

I think I'm gonna go have this 'fic tattoed to my body now. I don't think I can live without it. Or maybe I'll just plaster it across the walls of my room. Which would be creepier, you think?

Curse you and your gift for writing this pair! Curse you!

This is such a fascinating story. I enjoyed how quiet it was. It would have been so easy to make it so melodramatic but you didn’t and that made the whole thing wonderful. You hadn’t the weirdness of the situations so well.

The mention of Shelke seems awkward since if Shelke who’d been staying with Tifa while she was waiting for Vincent knew Vincent was alive why wouldn’t she have informed Tifa or why the others Shelke mentioned in the dirge ending hadn’t informed Tifa either. Other than a few little bits like that this felt so nicely polished.

Very nice.