whoa, can you say 'tragic'?

this is actually good! i love reading first fan fics.
i'm a beginner din kasi.. T_T

Not good, but not too crappy. Come on, you can do better.

Try to imagine the scene happening in your mind as you write the story. Don't just piece together whatever you come up with and write it. That NEVER works.


Of course, I could be wrong. G'bye.

Congrats on your first ever fanfic!! n.n

You did well on your Author's POV. Demo, I think you should put in more feeling in your story. That's just a suggestion, k? I myself am a bad... poor writer. T_T

Keep up the good work!!