okay um i could say you have a good idea with this fic from what i've seen. However i have to say that its a bit weird to read to me. you should stop spacing between every line and make them paragraphs. also i think u should stop using notes and explain things in the story so as not to interupt it like how u explained how everyone joined up with Naruto it wasn't all that good but overall i think your doing pretty good

could you post the next chapter please this story is great and i wanna keep reading it so till then update soon.

hey if u want u can use my character, his name is well...Zazuke. u come up with last name and villedge. if u use him email me at to get his moves and info

great story.

Great introduction.

Update. Although the chapter is short it shows promise. I like Super Naruto stories. Because if you stop to think about it a person with the strongest Bijuu in their stomach with the right training can easily be the strongest person in the world. However giving a three child the ability to control time and space seem a bit much. Good luck on the next chapter. Suggested Pairings:NarutoXAnko(favorite) NArutoXTemari or NarutoXTayuya(Challenge to make good but fun to read)Reasons- they can all simpathizze with being treated like crap or knowing of the abuse done to demon carrier.

...so cool...