cool agian you need no improvement

Cool

Oh, so it's songs

What was that?

I like it (I'm a big fan of Pink Floyd) but I'm not qute sure where it's going.

Very creative idea- I love The Wall (or any rock opera, really.) I think, to make it better, you should use more of the songs in the chapters, instead of just a small snippet. All in all, it is a good story. I liked it when Hobbes died- makes the story grimmer and more angsty. Keep writing, please!

Pretty good. Keep writing. I want to read more!