ah, come on, COMPLETE? this story so deserves to be developed more! go into the fighting and daily life, i'm sure you can turn this into a full-fledged story. it's a great beginning, it's jsut missing it's middle and end companions!

m i have to admit it was funny! to short short in my eyes, and u know i would have kept going, in my mind i can make it longer but thats just me. i gotta say very awesome two shot!

It didn't have them being lovey dovey but boy did I still love it. It's sad that that's what they thought (giggle) I like that Derek called her prissy. It was just too dang funny!
Person Of A Strange Origin

Aw - very cool! It felt very true to character.

Three words: perfect two-shot.

definitely keep writing. It's a lot harder, though, than editing. At least for me - but then again, I love editing. I would have taken out a few words. I do think this sets up your chapter story nicely. Oh, and was the lotion thing intended to mean what I thought?

laurentian abyss

Hahahahahha, I was laughing so hard:

'He had to be the sexiest guy in Canada. The tussled brown hair. The leather jacket. The belt buckle sneaking out from under his shirt. The smirk.

Oh God that smirk.'

nice.

Okay, and Im REALLY sry but I couldnt be mean if I TRIED on reviews. :/

But yeah I think youve got the entire LwD grasp on the writing...I just cant tell until you write some dialouge. Seemed pretty good to me though...

Haha, it was cute...But...This is just my personal thing though, I dont like swearing in LWD fics...For the most part...It doesnt make it real to me.

Anyways. I'd like to see what you could do with some dialouge though...Please give it a shot!

I'm still laughing. What an awesome twoshot! It was pretty in-character, too, no small feat. I'm impressed it's your first one, please write more- but with happy Dasey endings!!