The choreography, actually not the word, the descriptions of fights are getting a lot better. Just a tiny thing that bugs me, 'Peach hit Samus with her golf club, but Samus would kick Peach down.' The word 'would' kind of bugs me here. I'm sure it's useable and I'm not an English nerd but it kind of sounds like you're changing the tense or something.

The morals bug me a bit, but the Zelda and Mewtwo thing seems a tiny bit displaced. Maybe next time you should use a segue or somehow introduce them a bit smoother. While in humour stories you can kind of get away with jumping to another character, in stories like this it seems a bit strange when it cuts away. ...but the actual Zelda and Mewtwo scene was good.

I'm stopping here, it's getting late, so... yeah... I'll pick up with the next two chapters afterwards. Good then?

Hmm... just a few tiny things with commas here and there. Just proofread by reading it out verbally, paying special attention to the commas and full stops, you'll find it needs a bit of tweaking.

Nice plot twist, but I'm not sure about the morals of this so far. Isn't it supposed to be cliched and stuff about inner beauty, not what it looks like externally? It just bugs me a bit that they're suddenly liked with the new appearance.

But it's good, it definitely seems to have more of a twist than your other stories so far, which hopefully is a good thing for you. :P

Aww... it was a bit of a sad start. Your writing is getting so much better, I don't think I found any errors, you've come a long way. :)

Only tiny thing is: “if you girls won’t mind pairing up with us.”

Like, it's coming from a Pokemon so wouldn't you think he'd say it in a cuter way? I dunno, it might just be me. I seem to be reviewing every chapter as I go, but yeah.