|Reviews for And Then There Was One|
| australis-angel 9/1/09 . chapter 2
A great start to a story that seems to be on the back burner. (How do you keep so many stories separate in your head?) I feel a real empathy with the characters already, and you have set the scene very well.
I agree with RAA's review, but I don't need to know anything more about the trainee clairvoyant - that something bad, very bad, happened is enough of an implication for me!
Well done, I'm looking forward to the rest of the story.
| Pathseekerme 4/24/09 . chapter 2
I am really intrigued by this story! It is really interesting, and I cannot wait to see what happens next. Edward is really annoying, isn't he?
| tuxie13 11/17/08 . chapter 1
great chapter! i'm going to read the next one
| tuxie13 8/8/08 . chapter 2
great start to the story i can't wait for the next chapter!
| Rainstorm Amaya Arianrhod 6/16/08 . chapter 2
It's a sad world when fanfiction like this gets two reviews. This is really, really good- I have trouble finding anything I could justifiably complain about. I love the idea of an Earth Prime who isn't a strong leader, but also appears to have a house-sized ego and a permanent no-worries attitude, the foreshadowing of Serafina's son being a pioneer at Deneb and thinking of changing his name to some kind of bird (Raven, right?) and I like how you use surnames from well-known Talent characters for your OCs. I also adore Serafina's dialogue, it gives a real impression of her character, and the sense you give that there are some things everyone knows you just don't do (the double duty thing) but that are happening, and no-one's noticing. The internal terms -tremors, for example- were also good, and well-explained without resorting to a couple of sentences that sound like they're straight out of an author's note.
However. *apologetic cough* I did manage to find a couple of points that could maybe be changed if you happened to have the spare time to edit a little. The bigger one is the clairvoyant trainee at the end of the second chapter; I have absolutely no clue what happened to her, but I get the idea that it was really quite disastrous. This is frustrating. Unless leaving it hanging was deliberate, would you consider putting the interested out of their misery? Also, in the first chapter in a couple of places, has eaten your formatting where you've used italics. Not your fault -I've seen it elsewhere, and think it may be a general bug- but it does mean that a couple of words run together.
| Queen of the Jungle 3/29/08 . chapter 1
I love your writing style and your characterisation is very good.
please keep writing.
| astrokath 10/30/07 . chapter 1
You're definitely doing things right again!
Some of the sentences in the opening paragraphs feel overly long... for an introduction to a story, you might want to rephrase them to a more reader-friendly length.