This last chapter came as a complete surprise.

This was your first attempt at hard-core slash? You’re a natural!

This chapter was the best of the bunch (and the rest were all top shelf). This was deliciously seductive, incredibly sensual and totally believable. You brought out the passion as well as the respect and fondness David and Jack have for each other.

I fell in love with Jack and David as they discovered this secret side of each other.

This was a great fic with excellent characterization. The background stories for each chapter were wonderful.

You must have done a great deal of research for this piece. The furnishings, sundries, expressions and even attitudes were period appropriate. I appreciate and admire these touches in a story.

Excellent work.

Wow. I never thought I’d find het Race as fascinating as I do in Sprace or Blinktrack pairings, but you’ve made me see him in a whole new light. I like this Race. He’s cunning, cocky and an all-round good Joe.

The way you get into their heads, and let us see what’s going on in there, is amazing.

This is one of the best Mush characterizations I’ve ever read. He’s frugal, logical and hot as hell. There’s no sign of the “less than average intelligence” Mush we’re used to seeing. Despite her unfortunate lot in life, this girl (at least for one night) is one lucky S.O.B.

I am so loving this!

You allow us to see a side of the Brooklyn leader that nobody ever sees, yet you keep him in character all the while.

Nicely done.

Wow, this is a fantastic start. I’m usually not much for female characters, but I love your Janet. Kind, smart and a real friend despite the fact that it’s a business relationship.

I greatly enjoyed your story. I'm not usually to hard up for slash, I think I indulge in it out of curiosity, but this was something else. The last chapter was the greatest not just because of, you know, the event in it, but I don't know... just something so out of the ordinary about it.
I am COMPLETELY envious of your ability to capture character so well! All of them were elaborated so well! David was the best, for some reason, maybe because I don't read much with him in it...
Again, well done! I'm jealous and amazed.
P.S. Listened to the Newsies soundtrack the whole time I read :P

Wow, this is really good. I love these fantastical boys (as I'm sure we all do) and you're doing a great job of keeping them in character. Personal favorite chapter so far was Racetrack and Sally's bit. Update soon please!

Only thing, make sure your tenses stay consistent. You tend to switch between present and past a little bit, but it's barely noticable.

Great story. Keep it up!

*agog*

How did I not know you posted this? Javid smut? You never told me?

Oh my God, girl. Let's do that again!

Novel concept. Excellent read. Freaking hot. The small moment where Jack smacks David on the cheek is perfect.

My only qualm is with Blink and David's characterization - Blink's diction sounds a bit too elevated, and at rare moments, David's not elevated enough. I did, however, think the way you portrayed Janet's accent without resorting to phonetic spelling was skillful. I also like how you haven't caved in and made both Mush and Blink desperately in love but unwilling to say so; one-sided is a lot more dynamic and poignant.

Beauty, though. Rad rad rad.

Criticism? Um. No. How about: You. Smut. More now. Yes.

Everything was completely hot, but especially David's POV as he realized what he wanted and completely took charge. I kind of secretly love a more dominant David (wait... that's not a secret, never mind) and this was pretty much excellently that. And I love how fiercely David wanted Jack, because that is also super hot.

So in conclusion: super hot!

N'aw, straight!Race. I like him. And that he likes poker more than girls, but he definitely likes girls. And that he cares, too! It's very much a reflection of Spot there, I think, except that Spot is using his girl as an excuse to care, and Race is only just learning that he cares, and yeah, reading into this too much. Anyway, I like it quite a bit, and I like that Sally *clearly* knows what she wants and enjoys it, and I kind of wish she and Race would actually go out on dates together so she could be all sassy and spitfire and he'd just smirk about it to his friends. They'd be *hilarious* and awesome. I love how you packed so much personality into such a short chapter and demonstrated so much in the way she likes sex. And I like how this is a single paragraph that is insanely, ridiculously long.

Uh...the end. Of the review, I mean.

Okay, Mush, you are resentful because you LOVE BLINK, and you must come to terms with that so there can be snuggles. NAKED SNUGGLES. I mean, what? Huh?

This was *great*, though. I love Mush's thought process -- he reads as older than in some of the other stuff where you've written, probably because he's more jaded. And quite the lady's man... hot. Srsly. I, huh, have a thing for certain acts performed in this chapter and ANYWAY I wouldn't throw Mush out of my bed is ALL I'M SAYING, even if he should be with Blink. (I'd complain less, but they are my complete and total OTP to end all OTPs, and the thought of them not being together is sad enough, but poor heartbroken Blink...)

UM ANYWAY.

Yes. I liked this chapter quite a bit, was my point. Lovely job!

Aww, I really like this side of Spot. He's still one tough guy, but more benevolent than most fics show him; he cares about his boys and helps them out. And I can picture UST beteween him and Race, but it doesn't *have* to be there, necessarily; I honestly also like the friendship aspect, too. Quite a bit, in fact.

One note -- the POV in this one seemed a little wonky; it skipped back and forth between present and past a bit and I wasn't sure which one you meant for it to be in. It was a wee bit distracting from the awesomeness of the rest of the chapter.

My favorite line was definitely, "But the feeling he got when he walked to the Manhattan distribution center with the rest of the boys is the reason he won’t be leaving now, no matter how little sleep he gets." Like I said, I love this side of Spot, and that for all he's a bit of a dictator in Brooklyn, he also kind of wants to just be a regular dude and hang out. Very nicely done.

I have decided that you need to write more fluff, because when you set out to break my everlovin' heart, you succeed, and now I NEED fluff to recover. See, that's only fair. Now what do I have to bribe you with?

Anyhoo. This is well done -- hetsex and all. *g* In fact, I like Janet quite a bit! I love her nonjudgmentalness, and that she's also a friend and companion for Blink, and that she understands. That's lovely and I'm glad he has it.

I also really liked the touch of humor in this -- Janet's descript of the other boys, and Blink's reaction to them. Hee! But mostly I liked Blink (I know, it's a surprise, but...) and the way he was feeling about Mush *and* Janet, and the struggle he had to deal with there. You captured it well, and made it believable, and it is quite, quite good.

(Why yes, I *am* spending my day home sick reading through all of your fic to make sure I haven't missed any. Could you tell?)

Yup. Liked this one, too! That poker trumps teeth for Race makes perfect sense.

Overall, I thought you did well keeping with period details and developing each boy's personality through interaction with his, uhh, "companion." I also liked that these were just a series of related scenes without an overarching plot -- made for a good, fairly quick read.

Nice work!