Yay! Another chapter! (Dances, then realizes the author is watching and composes herself) Ahem...This chapter was amusing to read, especially since I've never seen Atin in action before (Cough-never-read-any-of-GreyJedi's-stories-before-because-she-is-too-lazy-to-do-so-Cough). Quite a brute, he is. Thea was right not to trust him. Must be a great racer, though, and at least he'll keep Titan's daughter safe! Zye sounds like a real pain-in-the-butt. Wouldn't want him on my team, nope! (Shakes head) Guess he's a good racer, otherwise Mizo wouldn't of hired him in the first place. No Razer in this chapter, eh? Too bad. He would straighten the brat out, yes he would! (Nods vigorously) Though Cutter will be doing the whole team a favor once he wipes Zye out on the track..."Accidently", of course, wouldn't want to be found out and get kicked off by Mizo. (Chuckles) Wouldn't that make Jak happy, not dealing with one less racer out to kill him. Keep up the good work, okay? You are a superb writer!

Atin: What have you done to me?! I wouldn't go raid some poor guys fridge!
GreyJedi: Yeah, you would.
Atin: NO I WOULDN'T.
GreyJedi: Yeah, you would.
Atin: No I - Forget it, I probably would. But I wouldn't EVER babysit some kid!
GreyJedi: Yeah, you would.
Atin: Is that your failsafe answer or something?
GreyJedi: Yeah, you would - wait, what'd you say?
Atin: Gotcha!
GreyJedi: Pssht! Whatever. Nice chapter Corad, can't wait for the next one. I want to see what you do to my poor loaner character.
Atin: I'm not a loner!
GreyJedi: No, you're a loaner.
Atin: O_o... I give up.

I'm telling you, Atin was fine. I'd have brought it up sooner if he wasn't. I can't wait to see more of what you do with him.
Atin: Oh god... I can't believe you loaned me to her...
GreyJedi: Well, get over it. You're going to be doing what she tells you for the duration of this story.
Atin: $#&$!!
GreyJedi: Whenever you've got that next chap, just send it my way.

I come for the complaining rambles. I've already read the chapters. >:D
Poor Titus, I feel sorry for him, so risky...
BAD CUTTER! *slaps him*

An interesting chapter, though it's a bit vague in my opinion, no offense. Razer acted fine to me, though he sounded patiently tense in the arguement with Cutter (Pressing his teamate for infromation while keeping a light,calm composture...smooth...XD) How he abruptly ended the conversation when Shiv came to investigate sounded just like him! The woman he saw just before getting into his car sounds myserious...Wonder who she is...At first I thought it might be Keira, strangely enough, but when you mentioned that she had "Dark blue-ish gray hair" that doubt was immediately erased from my mind. The second half of this chapter was marvolus, absolutely wonderful! How you kept the racer's identity a secret all the way until the end, and only then did you give a valuable clue to who they were, made the story very engaging. Your OCs car looks really old... Perhaps you can make/buy him a new one? (Laughs) Anyways, great story so far! Update really soon, okay?

C'mon, it's better than the titles I come up with. You should probably get around to introducing your character's name. I find them to be extremely helpful. ;D I already know it though, don't I? Mwahahahaha! Knowledge is power!!
Atin: (slaps) Stop that.
GreyJedi: Fine, fine. Good chapter, certainly took you a while to get it up, but computer troubles do that to you. I don't think Razer was OOC, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who would just brush it off.

Its been a while since you wrote something entirely new, Corad and Bijoux, especially for the reason that you must be pretty busy trying to update your series at a constant rate. The first chapter does sound interesting, though. I suggest tht you keep going with it. And don't worry, Razer sounded totally in-character. Smooth, calm, collected, yet bitterly sharp. I like him that way. And your new OC sounds cool, althugh he is a bit young to have a child. where is her mother anyway? Did she die, or is divorced? Did she abandon the girl? Oh, and are you going to post your OC's Bio up on your Profile? And what is his name? I'd like to know. Anyways, great chapter! Please update soon!

Hiya Corad! Cool new mini-fic n_n It has potential too. I'm intrigued by this OC of yours... will ye keep him alive or have him kick the bucket?

And Razer seemed fine and IC to me. He's my favourite character from Jak X (with the exception of Keira that is). I'd love to see more of this story, since I'm totally addicted to your writing style! n_n

from Millenium Ring

I already love this story! And of course, I have a "special intrest" in it. *evil laughter*
Ripp: And that is why you have no friends...
GreyJedi: What do you mean??
Ripp: Never mind -_-; Just finish the review...
GreyJedi: Fine then. Yeah, so I'm really enjoying the story; whenever you've got the next chapter just send it my way.
~GreyJedi