  Colette Tatou not signed in
2008-02-19 . chapter 1 Ack, again, I gave this fic no justice!
Here we go.
Hehe. A dance club. Of course she took him to a dance club, that's so her. And "she took him". I love how gender roles are kind of reversed in this relationship. Typically you expect the man to take the woman out. But no, she paid for him too! awesome.
Her friends all thought she was a lesbian. And Linguini's jaw dropping at "my boyfriend".
"When she drove him home," again with the reversed gender roles.
This whole section:
...and pulled him down into a kiss that… well… it's good she can't see his body's reaction, is all. He thinks of doing something about said reaction, but exhaustion wins out; this makes it two nights he hasn't had any sleep.
^Ooh lala! so scandalously suggestive! Yet discreet enough so it is not crude and cheap. I love it!
He gives a yell at the rude awakening, and forces his eyes open, angry now. "What, Little Chef? You're mad I didn't take you on my date? Was I supposed to…"
^SO in character. Linguini always misunderstands Remy at first.
– on the floor, which coincidentally is Alfredo's eye level right now.
^Nice witty word use!
The familiar tears start as he sees his mother's handwriting,"
^Oh, so heartfelt and sad. Her handwriting! *teary*
He bolts upright,...
^that whole paragraph is so cool how you described his frantic thoughts.
His Dad… His Mom always said he was in the Navy and would come home someday…
^Ooh, nice tiny backstory! And then in the next sentences, we get a sense of what Alfredo always suspected and thought about about his dad... "This is proof that his Dad walked out… no, that's not right, he never even knew he had a son…"
And the next ones are so sad, again: "he has no idea how to deal with this, he wants his Mom, he has to talk to her, now, but his Mom's dead..."
^you can just empathize. :(
I meant to say in a chapter of The Challenge (but I forgot) that Qu'est-ce qu'il y a? seems to be like Colette's catch-phrase in your fics. It's suitable! :)
"I'm…" I'm Gusteau's son. I'm an orphan. I'm a bastard. I'm lost. I'm found. I'm your slave forever. I… "I need your help."
^Oh man. SO SO good. I like the "i'm your slave forever" and how it kind of doesn't fit in with the theme of the rest. gusteau, orphan, bastard, lost, found ... Colette's slave forever? BRILLIANT. Because he's just heard her voice and is so in love with her and so grateful for her help, and just.. yeah. *sigh*
And the rest is great too. I only wish it continued until they got in the office. Because in the movie, Skinner opens the door and Linguini's looking up and laughing, and then Colette comes in the picture. I just always wonder what he was laughing about. My sister and I joke that Colette was doing an impression of Skinner, but that doesn't sound like her. :) But I don't blame you for not writing it, I can't even think what it could have been. ANYWAY. Great work! |
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