He cannot be pregnant! He is a man! ya burk!

OH MY GOD! NEXT CHAPTER! NO!! XD XD XD

please.
PLEASE.
PLEASE.
PLEASE
WRITE MORE!

omg thats weird! poor ryan and brendon!

AHH i love it!
please write more. PLEASE!
ps- brendon.. not brendan.
just thought i'd point that out.
GREAT STORY

i thougt this story had a NICE twist to i love the whole ryan and brendon love connetion you had going thr guy pregnetcy was also cool and i would like to let you no that this story made me laugh cry and kept my heart pasing
nice job ope to see a part two

Okay For Everyone Who has been ** about this story...I wrote it like 4 years ago! So please go easy on it.

First of all his name is BRENDON Urie, just thought i should say that,it was bugging me quite a lot. Secondly, it's a good story, but it's a tad bit childish in a way, like in the first chapter, ryan barges in, and says "i've been raped by my father!" and brendon replies so calmly and talks about taking a picture. I thought his reaction should've been bigger, more caring and angry, but it wasn't. Also, another example is when they are in bed together, and it starts to get heavy, brendion says"ryan we shouldn't do this, you've just been raped" and the way it played off after that, it wasn't very... i dunno, i can't really explain. All in all, what i'm really trying to say is that the way you display the emotions in the story, they could be written better

Okay. I'm going to try and be as delicate as I can about this.

The characterization in this story is all wrong. I couldn't imagine them doing or saying more half the things they did. Characterization is important in a story, its what helps make it believable. And when you have a story that is touching on things like m-preg, you need the rest of it to be as believable as it possibly can or else its just ridiculous.

The over dramaticness of this story was also a little much for me.

You have a lot of things you need to work on, like setting up a scene, and time progression. Detail, thats important. Detail makes the story. Just a few things I think you might want to consider. Don't give up writing, just make sure to work at improving and honing your skills.

Good Luck.

Brendon. It's Brendon.

I have read the whole story and i think it's great please do the sequel soon or i will hang to slit my throat!

Hannah

x

Wow you've a twisted imagination. But I do have to say i had a hard time pulling myself away from the computer.

Hey i love this flying toaster lol