You so should of finished that! It was great x

Okay. Slow down there! There's no way Taylor would begin to trust him that fast! I mean, we all know that he's a good guy, but as far as her character knows, he's some teenage kid with problems!

I take it you've seen Ella Enchanted. It's a good line, but if you use specific lines as inspiration, it's better to give them your own personal twist. The line works, but it throws the reader off the story. Suddenly they're not thinking about Chad and Taylor; they're thinking about, "where the heck do I remember that line from."

Chad is so adorable! I mean, you've got to love any character portrayed by Corbin Bleu.

I got your review replies. Yeah, I do kind of leave long reviews sometimes. (well, only if I have something important to say. I'm not really in to leaving three words.) English teachers must all go to a convention or something. They all seem to have the same one-liners.

Good luck for the next chapters!
.pixie

Awe! See I knew he couldn't be a pervert, he's too cute! Great chapter.

Okay, Chad was a lot out of character here! He should be the sweet flirt, Jason should be the perverted flirt. (not a Jason fan here.) I mean, Chad should be a flirt, but not a disgusting one!

Detail would be great. Like I said before, the more words to say one thing, the better. However, you have to make sure you're not just making the same point over and over again using different words. (you don't have that issue.)

I liked the idea of her getting a cabin away from everything else. It brings a little humor to the story. Okay, well, that's pretty much all I have to say.

.pixie

loved the last line! I like the idea of this story, but there's some specifics you might want to explore.

Well, a camp wouldn't put a boy and a girl in the same cabin. It makes a plot, but not a realistic one.

You might want to add a little more dialogue. I know it's annoying doing the quotation marks and all those returns, but it's definitely worth it. The flow of the story will be much improved.

Speaking of flow, expanding and adding detail is no sin. Writing is really about using as many words as possible to imply something. "Show, don't tell." in the words of my English teacher.

One more suggestion: fanfiction provides page breaks in the editing section. Putting one of those in between each idea would make the story much more easy to understand. You can even just put the (...) thing and a couple of returns in. Just something to signify a new event.

Okay, on to the praise section of my review. The characterizations are very good! Chad the player/slacker/bball player and Taylor the shyish/hard worker/model student. I think their life stories really complement/work with the characters. Bravo on that!

I loved the dialogue that you did. It was very in character. (I know, I'm obsessed with characterizations.) It was so... unscripted. Sometimes dialogue can seem very planned out, but your's was good.

I think the plot so far is great! *wipes sweat off forehead* Sheesh! That was a long review!

.pixie

this sounds like a good idea. I can't wait to see what you do with the story. chaylor is propably my favorite pairing! (troyella gets kind of dull after reading 50 million fics about it. leave that pairing for the movie!)

.pixie

AW! THAT WAS SO SWET!

Aww Chad's sweet.

are they dating at the end cuz i kinda dont get it.
but i liked it!

Aww. They're finally getting along!. I wonder what Taylor will say when she finds out her position!. That line: “Look I’m sorry, you’re the only girl who hasn’t swooned at me at the first sight” Chad said looking at Taylor. She looked over her shoulder and looked at him up and down.

“Then maybe I done you some good” Taylor said" you got that from Ella Enchanted, didnt you?. I love that movie. And I love your story so far!!. Keep up the awesome job!.

Sarah

I love Chaylor! This really is awesome, and I loved the movie trailer at the beginning!

great

aw i really luv it, hurry and update.

luv it, wow wat a great first impression.lol

Stay with Chad, Stay with Chad!