Some suggestions:
1) Use correct punctuation and capitalization, and check your grammar.
2) Use grammatically correct sentences. "So Hamel landed on the ground and transformed back to his human form. He crawled under a tree since he couldn't walk." as opposed to "So hamel landed on the ground. He crawled under a tree since he couldn't walk... oh yeah he also transformed back to his human form."
3) Decide which parts of the story are worth writing about. Listening to Hamel think about hoping Raiel will get there soon is definitely not as interesting as a longer description of exactly how he got torn in half would be.

Best wishes,
Illa