Reviews for The Stranger - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: The Stranger

Exdeamon 2008-05-03 ch 3,	abuseHola. Si, I know a little spanish. Thought it appropriate with the main OC being a spaniard. Hm... Havn't done this in a while. Let's felex my critique. The bad? Well... you havn't got the detail down. Some parts are perfect, with enough detail to engage and describe without making it boring. However, msot of the time, the levels of detail are abit jumpy. You seem to concentrate more on teh characters thoughts and less on their perceptions. I suppose the best example of this is the fact I had no clue what a Walker was. Just that it was a large, legged thing with a gun. Eventually I peiced togethor an idea of a six legged ant-like thing, but those types of details are good to know at the start. Can't complain on spelling, cus I've probably made more typos in this review than there are in your story. Same with grammer. Hmm... At some points, you do sorta repeat yourself. Nothin' major. Now, the good stuffs! Ok, this is one of teh few, and I mean FEW stories I have read with a new character, that isn't from the game series, that I like. Your guy isn't 2d, but isn't too angsty/greif-ridden. He isn't invincible and seems well aware of his own mortality, just good at being in the right place at the right time and not being noticed. He's a spaniard, insta-bonus points. This Soul-Wraith concept is interesting, but I don't see where it's going. And what happened to Jade's stick o' death? While it is certainly an improvement to see people using guns as they should sensically be, that stick was just cool. And this Valentine-Jade thing you got goin grabs interest, too. This thing needs to be seen to the end. Don't worry if you're not getting many views or reviews, The game wasn't very widely acknowledged, despite its awesomeness. Alerted.
Deancentricgal 2007-11-27 ch 1,	abuseSounds good. You've caught my attention. =] Btw, this is Gothca from Monsters. ;]
Captain Kurt Hoffman 2007-11-09 ch 3,	abuseHello, I will confess the start is decent and shows much promise, though it seemed a little...stilted, if you will, to me. It did not flow like it could have, and it was a little short. From there, the length issue pretty much ceases, and the chapters have more substance, but they still feel a bit stilted to me. In all, a decent story with promise. Regards, Captain Kurt Hoffman

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