Thats right always ask the awesomely amazong Rika!

No way! Crescemon is Lunamon's Ultimate Form! That would be incredibly stupid!

1. Gryphmon
2.
3. Vikemon
4.
5.
Sorry i couldn't be of more help

*Cries* NO! It’s the end! It’s the horrible terrible end!

My favorite book has come to its close.

That’s the one bad thing about a good show, a good game, and a good book. They always have to come to an end eventually. This one has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Excitement, drama, action, a bit of fluff. All the things Digimon always is every season….until they air the last two or three episodes for each season which always blow. (Aside from 01 which was mostly happy and 03 which was freaking awesome)

I was surprised that Davis or Tai didn’t remark on Rika’s soccer potential. Come to think of it, as important to the series as soccer was, I don’t think you’ve included it yet in a chapter…maybe a tamers vs digidestined match lol. Anyways, Rika has definitely has some powerful legs in your stories. Takato uses his fists more, but Rika relies on kicks, which makes sense since girls actually have quite a bit more muscle tone in their legs than guys do. Still, its pretty easy to see Rika literally kicking the crud out of some poor sap lol.

Ok, now I now I’ve said this a lot this book (because it is my favorite) but the scene with the digidestined remaining in the their world, walking through the destroyed city of Shinjuku with the morning sun behind them would be a very dark, but extremely cool picture to see. Mentally its scary. I remember one time seeing a dvd with director commentary, (I think it was I am Legend) but he said that there is nothing in existence more frightening or ‘eerie scary’ than a half destroyed, completely abandoned, silent city. And he’s right. I was in a city one time on a holiday, and right in mid day there was only like, five, maybe six people within twenty blocks. No cars, nothing. I gotta say, it scared the begezzes out of me. I was surprised that Cody didn’t have anything to add to the moment though…

Of course Takato’s plan was genius, bone headed, brave and risky, (like him going for Rika lol) but it came though. And, for once it didn’t have any negative repercussions. Their friends got to stay, Rika’s dad was removed from existence, and Tai and Kari’s mom became a good cook! Added bonus of Rika getting a little sister that can cause pain and agony to the idiot twins in Rika’s stead! The part with everyone holding onto Jeri was really funny. Poor girl must have grown an inch or two (it was a lot of people, and Guardramon is big) And you even kept Izzy’s line! I cant believe how many people forget that little detail. (Its even his computer password, sad huh?)

The ending part with everyone meeting in the park was good. It reminded me a bit of Star Ocean I (great game, about 3 years old) where everyone wakes up in the park. I also liked the bit with Henry. He is protective of Suzie, and I think he always will be, even when she’s an adult. It’s the rule for big brothers, and why they’re born first. To look after, and protect their little sister/s.

Wonder how that one bit of memory with Yamaki stuck through the collapsing and reformatting of 4 real worlds and 4 digital worlds? Must have really wanted it lol. I felt sorry for Leomon. Must be hard to be used to being big and stong, then reduced to what is essentially a furry bowling ball with a fan for a tail.

About Takato’s description of Kristy, I actually don’t remember reading that last time. But it was true. She always had that…inflection in her voice. I don’t think it could ever be removed, no matter how hard Takato works to do so. People that have been…hurt badly, carry a scar with them for life. Same with Jeri, even though she got Leomon back, she’s always going to have that scar. And Rika, she will too. In the series she did smirk, and I do recall her actually smiling a few times (thanks to Takato) but she will never be like pre-loss Jeri, that part of her is sadly gone for good. But, she can still feel joy and happiness, and she fortunately has a fountain of it in Takato. It’s amazing what just a few simple lines can invoke huh?

The interaction between the sisters and Takato was well done, though I’ve never heard this term before:

“Fine…” Rika replied. She paused for a short while. “I bugsy this room!” she abruptly said. Kristy groaned.

Bugsy? Is that like calling dibs?

So Kristy gets the Digimon shoulder accessory huh? He’s pretty cool. (actually, he was my favorite character from 05, Marcus/Yoshi was my ship, but he was my favorite. He was their Terriermon, but had rank to make it so others couldn’t say anything back lol.)

It was a fitting end, and a good way to close a grand work of art. Though I have enjoyed all of your work, this one will probably always be my favorite. Unfortunately it means I will always compare your other work to it lol.

Don’t really know what else to say really. Other than this was a real treat to find and read. Its been…oh gosh, three years since I found a story I enjoyed as much as this, and sadly the author abandoned it after so much hard work…I look forward to reading the next book, but I want to finish the first chapter of my Digimon story first. I’ll have iup this weeked. Only three, maybe four more scenes to write for it left. Expect to see it up soon!

Again, thank you for all of your hard work that you put into this. I know how much it takes to do, and how much it means to get a few kind words for your effort. I just wish I could give more.

I look forward to the next book, but until then, Ja Ne! (31 pages woth of reviews, that’s a small story in of itself isn’t it lol)

Oh the grudges that grow after four years. Or in Kari’s case, five. I’ll never forget Angawoman being thrown by her hair, or the ensuing cat fight. After that we have Davis’s first ‘kill’ and TK’s first kill of the 02 season….or was it Cody’s? I feel a bit bad for TK here, I noticed that he seems to be following Kari still like he always has. I think he might…I think he might need her. Not just romantically, he might have developed a case of Codependence with her. While he will hopefully get over Davis winner her hand, he might still actually depend on having her around. It’s known to happen, and while Davis might not like it at first, he might have to just deal with it, just so long as he knows TK wont ‘try to move in on his turf’ and is just hanging out with his friend of so many years. He and Kari HAVE been through a lot together, more than she hase with Davis at least, so there is that bond between them, like the one between Takato and Jeri. I know Rika will probably always be nervous when those two are together, but she trusts them enough, and knows them well enough that nothing will happen. (Though she will never trust her completely.)

Beelzamon gets the Academy award for best actor! I still wish he could have fought the other one though. The Hilander comes to mind lol.

“There can be only one!”

Ah yes, Belphamon. Of the 7, he is the biggest threat I think. He’s big, he’s powerful, and he’s unbelievably fast. Combined with his AWE (Area Wide Attack) with those chains he’s extremely dangerous. In 05 it took 4 Megas and 2 ultimate’s to beat him. Here? It would be nearly impossible for the assembled team to pull off such a stunt.

Of course, out of those assembled, Zudomon IS the one capable of inflecting the most damage, even if he is just an Ultimate level. That hammer is big, and the force behind its swings is quite a bit. I little kid with a baseball bad is dangerous, a giant with a hammer is even more so. I like how you have him playing a more active role than he did in the show. (As a back line artillery station).

Ok, now why exactly are TK Kari and Davis worried? Their temporarily immobilized. So what? Their MEGA’S. The demented trio don’t have anywhere near the firepower to hurt them. The only major threat to anyone or anything that is not a Mega is Stingmon with his one hit kill ‘Spiking Strike’. These guys are…at most a nascence.

Now, back to the REAL fight at hand. Daemon isn’t just powerful, he’s extremely tough. In 02 the group didn’t actually have enough power to defeat him, which is why they sent him to the Dark Ocean. However, like all bad guys, he just wont stay away huh? I think it would take at least two Digimon at Omnimon’s level to take him down for good. He’s got a lot of data to protect him. (Example, when Beelzamon was hit by the D-Reapers ‘cards’ instead of being deleted he vented excess data to stay alive. Daemon probably could do the same thing in a pinch.)

It would have been smarter for the group to distract Daemon and buy Beelzamon time to make that pentagram thing that works like Daemon’s Evil Multiplex. Gallantmon’s Crimson Light fired through that thing would have done quite a bit more than anything else that have. (A Terra Force wouldn’t fit through the Alchemic Transmutation Circle and thus could not be powered up.)

And then Belphamon goes into his berserker mode. Not good lol.

I do wish the ‘cat fight’ could have been a bit longer, but I can understand the desire to finish up a story (it happens to us all) so I don’t hold it really, just noticed that there hasn’t been a good one other than the Lillithmon battle in your work.

Then Daemon has to go and cheat. Were it not for the sudden power boost he would have been toast. No one Mega is strong enough to fight 13 Mega’s

Kenta: Hey!”

Ok, 14 Mega’s and survive. Just too much firepower.

Again, poor MegaGargomon. He hasn’t won a fight yet has he? Even WarGreymon took out Lucemon…with help…well he did get Machinedramon back in book 2 as well..with help…hmm, I’m starting to sense a pattern here….

I also noticed how you’ve used Lillymon as a psudo Patriot Missle system. Not a bad idea really when you think about it. She’s pretty powerful, and combined with her speed and small size she’s actually more valuable as a defensive interceptor then a front line attacker. Same is sadly true with MegaGargomon. All his firepower doesn’t seem to put a scratch on most big foes, so in the future he might be more useful as a defender.

And of course Cody had to rain on their victory parade:

“But at what cost?” Cody said, looking around in the darkness at the destroyed wreck that used to be Tokyo. He frowned.

The kids like a cross between Matt, and Sasuke Uchia I swear. Does he ever, once in his life say ANYTHING positive?! The boy needs pep pills…or a girl friend, though I cant think of any characters I dislike enough to wish that upon. Maybe a pet fish would cheer him up.

Oh, and as a side note. Imperialdramon doesn’t transform his wrist cannon to do Giga Crusher, he pulls the one from his Dragon Mode off his back (it can be seen if you look at him from behind) and uses it.

Great chapter, and I’ve got to say, your as wicked with cliff hangers as I am, a bit better actually cause yours are always scary, where as mine are just suspenseful.

I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Hmm shared dreams huh? I’ve heard of them, actually had one a long time ago, but it’s still weird to read about. Harmony and Chaos were pretty close with their descriptions though.

Oh, and what was this btw:

“What is it with you and swimming in unusual worlds?” she asked, recalling what he had told her.

I think I remember something about that from the show…but I just cant…remember…*shakes fist at UPS man* The more I read, the more I want my DVD’s here now! So many little flashes of memory, little bits and pieces that make hazy pictures, it gets so annoying!

I shudder to think what Harmony did to Chaos. I think I have an idea…but I’d rather not dwell on it. I wonder why Chaos didn’t use the chance to annoy her though? I mean, he can do whatever he wants, and for once she cant hurt him!

Rika’s shooting down everyone’s ideas was also pretty funny, and yes, it was my favorite part of the chapter. However, due to its format of line by line exchange I wont past it, as it would take too much space. Again, I point out that it was Rika, and not Takato whose mind was in the gutter. In addition, I guess in some cases not even a dream can conquer reality. Perhaps Takato used up all his ‘dream energy’ getting Rika. She is his ‘dream girl’ after all.

Oh boy, the warnings of old come to mind here. Barbamon should know them, as ALL MALE’S know them by heart. The fury of a woman scorned ring any bells? If she will it, it be, if she not, it shant? The guy screwed up big time, and got his just dues.

Hmm, looks like…it looks like the data from Takato’s old D-Arc was still in the area, even after all this time. He got a new one I remember, but maybe the old one wasn’t lost, just…waiting for its true bareer? If it is connected with the crest of Love, it would stand to make sense Takato would have lost it there, as it had served its purpose…I really need to take the time to explain Legend of the Dragoon to you. I’ll do it via PM after I finish with this story. It will help a lot, trust me.

I also liked the subtle ‘revenge’ Sora got on Yolie. Yolie was her replacement in 02, and here Sora got to take back the spotlight for awhile as the ‘Warrior of Love’.

Though you might want to rephrase the part where the blasts hit. The only bird I know of that has teeth to grit is a duck, and their tiny. So maybe having ‘Sora’ grit her teeth instead of ‘Phoenixmon’ would make more sense.

Ken…needs to get one thing straight. Darkness and evil are two very different things. Something can be dark, but not evil. As you said in book 2, not all virus type Digimon are evil, just a bit more violent and destructive. Darkness is a natural occurring element, though it requires a lot of control to prevent its user from going ‘Dark Side’. Darkness exists wherever light casts a shadow, and that just happens to be his element. Besides, I don’t think it was the Dark Ocean that made it that way.

Hear me out. The Dark Ocean upgraded his Digivice into a D3, a D3 with the powers of ‘darkness’ but it also still has the power of light. Light and darkness cannot exist in the same vassal, as they are opposites. That is why I think Darkness is Ken’s natural element. If the Digivice had truly become corrupted by the Dark Ocean, then it would have lost the Light within and would only be capable of ‘Dark Digivolution’ Now, historically, when a Digivice is corrupted and its user forces a ‘Dark Digivolution’ it destroys the Digivice. I think this is because they have a natural built in safety mechanism to prevent them from being used to power up ‘evil’ Digimon. So, if the Dark Ocean had corrupted Ken’s Digivice, then its safety system would have kicked in and destroyed it. However, if it merely gave it a boost in power, then it would have been fine. The combination of ‘life’ and the dark seed in Ken’s neck are what made him evil, and allowed him to bypass the normal safety systems built into the Digivice.

*Whew* Nerd moment over.

Funny, I wonder how soon after the battle with the D-Reaper Zhuqs was…err…well, it just seems odd that after 4 years he couldn’t get the floor fixed. Must be a union job or something.

One spot that seemed to be a bit out of character:

“Maybe it does something…” TK noted, walking up to it. He touched the metal sphere, and stumbled back in surprise as it glowed, the intensity of brightness increasing until it flooded the doors

Isnt that more of Tai or Davis’s bit? Takato might have been a year ago, but he actually seems to have matured a bit, or is at least a bit more cautious, probably due to Rika lol

Looks like you caught the drill bit this time (no pun intended) Though the actual plan was pretty good. Tai might have been the leader, but Matt was his partner as far as big boomers go. Similar to Rika and Takato in the show actually. The others are all too big (Zudomon, MegaKabutarimon) or…I hate to say it, too weak (Lillymon) to help out in the bigger battles. So it’s understandable that he would have a tactical mind to him. (Of course, every teenager with a PS2 or X-Box has one now due to most video games lol)

Ok, first of all, major props to Impmon with thinking on his feet. As I said before, he is a prankster, and this is the proof. Only a prankster or a lawyer is able to think on their feet that quickly. But I do have one question. How did Impmon know that one of the seven Demon lords was Beelzamon? They never met, and it was never mentioned?

Oh, and yet another great part deserving to be a two frame comic:

“Wow…eleven megas!” Kazu said in awe of the group.
“Hey!” Kenta complained, equalled by a tooting from his partner.
“Okay, twelve…” Kazu corrected. “One of whom is useless…” he muttered. Kenta angrily looked at him.
I do wonder how they hoped to move undetected though. I mean, most of them are only a little taller than a adult human, but MegaGargomon, Imperialdramon, Phoenixmon and GrandisKuwagamon are all pretty big…just my thoughts.

Uh, them and that horrible machine. I hope the thing gets destroyed one of these days. I really hate that thing.

Great chapter, and a great job. I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Ok, favorite part of this chapter belive it or not, had nothing to do with my normal favorites. This time its courtesy of our resident (fictional) paranoid person:

Yamaki used a key to open the panel near the elevator. Scrabbling around in the controls, he seemed to be using a technical method, until he pulled out a gun and shot the equipment with one shot. The elevator’s lights faded, and Yamaki, checking that he had been successful first, moved back to the table that Riley had put a tray of food on. Frowning at the choice, he sat down.

So Yamaki knows American engineering huh? Lol Simple, to the point, and effective. The only problem is it’s usually permanent.

The little chat between Barbamon and Daemon was good to. Nothing like the haunting words of an old guy who hates your guts being your final thoughts huh? Daemon could probably hear him laughing too when…ah, I’m getting ahead of myself. It was good, though I wonder how these guys lasted this long without destroying each other. As Master Kae said. “An alliance of hatred is a fragile thing.” I thought for sure the other six would have gotten tired of Daemon’s mouth and uploaded him ages ago, particularly Beelzamon. The guy wasn’t exactly known for his patience or temper control was he?

*Clinches fist* Ok, I have to admit, you’ve got Cody pretty well down. Even to the point that I wish I could reach inside the screen and slug him like I did with the show. He’s just so….I cant even think of a word for it. His existence angers me for some reason. Every little thing about him just annoys me to no end, but I cant for the life of me figure out why. Good job…I guess lol.

Secondary favorite part of chapter:

“Good morning everyone!” Kari cheerfully greeted the groggy group, the sun only having ridden minutes before. “I hope you’re all ready for today’s adventure!”
Tai looked on, galled at Kari’s behaviour. He nudged Davis, and whispered to him. “You really sure you want to be with her?”
Davis grinned. “Of course…” he replied. “She’s just a bit…enthusiastic at the moment…”

Kari really does remind me…of a friend from a while back. Havent seen her in years, but I swear she must have gotten up every morning with a huge smile and shouted,

GOOD MORNING WORLD!

Not to be mean or scynical, I’m serious. She was just always happy, perky and in a great mood. Even at like 6 in the morning when we had A-block together (first period, over here we call them blocks) A morning person and a sunny side up all rolled into one. *shudders* Scared me to death. I’m pretty much like Machiendramon until after noon. Funny how reading a fan fic can make you remember things from…gee what…five? Six years ago?

Back to the point, she’s a lot like DemiVeemon here. (referring to the episode where Davis slept over at Ken’s) Poor guy will never be able to sleep in again lol.

Tai’s observations of the others was interesting, as we don’t really get a chance to see inside his head that often. He does have a brain under that birds nest he calls his hair, and I think you did him justice here. Felt a bit bad for Takato though, wonder exactly what Tai meant when he said “Takato occasionally suggesting something and Rika either dismissing it or taking the idea and running with it, often beyond the point that Takato had meant.”….hmm…

As for the others, I don’t think its that Henry, Jeri, Ryo, Kazo and Kenta don’t notice as much as they no longer care. They had their fun (Kazu and Kenta) at picking fun at Rika and Takato (and paid for it) and they probably don’t pay any mind to the Digidestined since the 02 ending pretty much told all (maybe they try to ignore them on purpose due to their ships being shot to heck like 90% of the other fans) so they are more likely ‘conditioned’ to it than oblivious. Even Suzi is not blind, remember her nicknames for Rika and Takato? Anyways, I wonder what some of the partners opinions are? We know most of them, but what about Byomon and Agumon? Ok, never mind, back to the story!

Side note on Beelzamon, wouldn’t it be…well…Warp Digivolution? And where’s Behemoth? The thing keeps getting trashed, but it always seems to be back again after awhile…maybe Gargomon and Kazu work on it? I also wonder if what Ryo said was true. Cyberdramon might be a bit…unstable, but the guy generally behaves. It does make a darn good excuse though to get rid of the fan boys lol.

This is another scene I would actually pay to have made into a manga. Dude Where’s My Mon? of Kazu and Kenta’s Excellent Adventure, either one fits.

As for the anti Takari bit, I’ve endured five years worth of Shipping Wars on this site and elsewhere, so I little in the way of compassion for my ‘enemy’s’ anymore. Besides, we saw…well, actually heard if you want to be technical about it, the consequences of Kari rejecting Davis, and boy were they ugly. That was one of the saddest Audio’s I’ve ever heard in my life, and I’m a Digimon fan! (pointing at the series track record for sticking it to the major ships and a majority of its fans)

Oh so it was on of Henry’s sisters! I don’t remember them all that well, sorry about the question a few chapters ago.

Also, the scene with Suzies…observations is worth a picture. I really do feel bad for Lopmon sometimes…actually, most of the time.

Again, as I said before, Tai needed a girl that could take the pressure he’s under (someone like Mimi or Yolei couldn’t handle it, not that I even consider them, just using them as examples) but can also force him to open up. Sora is a tomboy, and like Rika, she can boss her boy around a bit to get him moving when he clams up. Some guys just need that kick in the backside every now and then, oddly enough, its usually the ones who are leaders that suffer from a lack of courage in their personal life. (points at Takato and Tai as opposed to Matt Henry and Ryo)

As for Davis, he’s still in shock. Wanting something for so long (I consider four years a bit much myself) and then to suddenly get it without doing anything different than usual would be a bit of a jump to his system. I doubt he ever actually thought ahead to what he would to do if Kari agreed to go out with him.

Ok, how can Yamaki be board? He’s got a friend, (a girl mind you) its almost like with the next chapter with Takato and Rika! He even has a computer! Ever heard of solitar, minesweeper or…well, unless al the games were removed from the computer, but if he has internet there are always arcade sites. How a person can sit in a room with another person but not speak is beyond me. Of course, this is Yamaki we’re talking about, and the guy is a bit…weird.

As for the bad spot, I’m not surprised that they had a hard time. Though there was some good that happened there. It was the first biomerge, and it was the first time Takato came to Rika’s rescue as a literal ‘Knight in shining armor’. It’s also where they witnessed one of the greatest (abet shortest) battles of all time, the fight between Sovereign level Digimon is a rare thing. I guess that the negative just overrides the positive here, as it does most of the time unfortunately.

I wonder why Barbamon didn’t but them all out then finish them? I know, it would have killed the story, still, like every other villan he goes off monologing. (referring to The Incredibles) Villans always make the same mistakes, even though they claim to have learned from their predecessors.

Again, great chapter. I enjoyed reading it quite a bit.

I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Ok, I’m still pumped from the last chapter, so expect more hyperness for a while lol. I loved this part, not my favorite for the chapter, but a good runner up:

However, neither mentioned anything, and neither did any of the other Tamers. The reason? They knew where they were, and that the groans of tiredness from the Digidestined would soon be fielded.

I’m surprised that no mention of Mimi was mentioned in this. Like for instance the Gekomon having some law against anything pink, (Kari’s gloves perhaps invoking it) in the palace. Just because it’s a different quadrant doesn’t mean that news doesn’t spread.

Also, nice recycling of Yolei’s dialog from the show:

“My blisters have blisters…” Yolei complained.
I still remember that one.

I do wonder if even Takato was allowed to see Rika with her hair down. From the sound of things even he wasn’t…I know girls can be a bit…strange about their hair (completely understandable, since even the Bible itself says that it is a woman’s beauty) but I would think Takato would be privy to it, especially with them being Japanese. (Side note: In Japanese culture, at least in the old days and with ‘higer class’ citizens today, a womans hair is kept up in a bun. Only her husband is allowed to see it down, similar to woman of the Muslim faith with their face.)

The exchange that centered around her hair was very well done. Completely in character for them. I think that much of the partners personality comes from their Tamer’s subconscious. And as we know, Guilmon like to play with things like a little kid, so its probably not a far toss that Takato would have something similar himself. I can see Rika pretty much teasing Takato for the rest of their days. Not to be mean, its jus part of her nature. He ‘tamed’ her a bit I think, retracting her ‘play with prey’ attitude a bit when it comes to friends to just being a bit of a tease with them.

Thinking back, its probably a good thing Takato and Ryo didn’t give Davis any cards. With a single exception, each and every single card Takato had in the show was offensive in nature, and Ryo’s were just plain broken. (Hey, giving Guilmon MetalGarurumon’s attack was just plain unfair, no rookie could fight that.) And poor Gatomon, caught off guard by the blue blur (my new nickname for Veemon, duh) I remember him actually saying that he liked Gatomon in the show too…hmm…future possibility? A cat like dragon, or a dragon like cat type, sounds…frightening actually. (No I don’t just spend time researching parings, my memory just flashes up random scenes from the show sometimes when I’m reading or writing) Back to the point though, wouldn’t Gatomon have sensed him coming? I cant get ten feet from my cat without her turning to see me.

The scene between Kari and Davis was good, I could see little DemiVeemon cheering him on in the back of my mind. (He is the ultimate cheerleader lol)

DemiVeemon: “Way to go big bro! It only took you four years! Now how long until you,”

Gatomon: Smacks DemiVeemon upside the head, knocking him out.

Oh, I wanted to thank you for the information here about Digivolution. Me and Crazy8 actually had a pretty nice little discussion on the subject last week. I came up with a decent theory behind it, and she even agreed with it saying that it seemed to hold water. If you’d like I can PM you a copy of the theory and discussion. (Total nerd, I know, but as I said before, I save everything for future reference, including reviews and replies. They make good source material. Just let me know it if want one or both and I’ll send them.)

Again, I love the way you write Impmon. He really is a big ol softy. His loyalty took awhile to build, but its foundation is rock solid now. He has the human bond of a Tamed digimon, along with the infusion of a Digimon Sovereign, combined with the data he absorbe when he was in his bad boy phase. Aside from the unfair power boost Chaos and Harmony can give their partners, I think he’s the strongest one.

Also, side note of gender change again:

He looked down to see Guilmon, choking. Sighing at the routine, she walked forward.

She, not he lol. The whole part was pretty funny. Must be pretty bad for it to be a routine though.

I also did some thinking about what you said before, regarding Tai/Sora, and I can see how your right. Even with her point blank telling him she’s ok with it before hand, and that he shouldn’t worry, he very well could have ‘run away’ though internally and not literally. So, he did display some ‘curage’ after all. I’ll give him his just due…this time lol.

In addition, all fluff aside, the conversation between Gatomon and Kari was well done. As I said in the past, Gatomon is hard to write. She is a Digimon, not a human, but at the same time she’s not just some kind of animal, so it makes her hard to write. Added to that, she’s a cat, which gives her certain personality traits and characteristics that are also hard to write, and finally, she’s female, something very hard to get into the mind of for guys to write. But, as I said before, you do this very well. She has a teasing bit to her, but also deeply caring along with just a touch of…well, snob (girl and cat traits) so she would to a degree hold something like this over Kari, just teasing her a little bit, while at the same time supporting her. Good work with pulling this off.

Again, great characterization with our favorite optimist:
“Here goes nothing…” Matt prompted.

The boy needs to cheer up. Though if he did the harmonica would no longer fit him….now looks like he can teach his little brother how to play huh?

I didn’t notice before, but you actually have Zudomon using his hammer as…well, a hammer. In the she he just made some sort of energy blast, or the one time he threw it, but it would make a whole lot more sense to smash someone with it, as you’d have the hammers blow power combined with a point blank shot. I think it would hurt quite a bit more then.

The final fight of Lilithmon was very well done. Like I said, Kari does have her brothers temper, she just has a better handle on it. When it does get lose though….well…she’s like Rika used to be me thinks. Not exactly cruel, but very very…vindictive, and not above causing a bit of suffering. Her fight with LadyDevimon comes to mind actually. (Digimon’s Ultimate catfight…in more ways than one lol)

Oh, and to this:

“I warn you…you will meet destruction at the hands of the person you least expect…” she warned darkly. “Rika Nonaka, keep your eyes open…because you and Takato better be careful…one day you’ll let your guard down, one day, and it will all be over…the end of the World…”

It’s got to be Calumon lol. Who would expect it?

Seriously though, its driving me nuts. I know the one girl back stabbed them, but I also know that was not the one meant here. I have my theory’s, but I’d rather wait than speak. (I leared from where Takato has not lol.)

Hmm, and it looks like Rika, or possably Davis has indeed influenced Kari a bit. Hard to tell which though…hmm.

Great chapter, I enjoyed it quite a bit. I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Here we go! WarGreymon’s only victory in the series lol. I know, we’ve been over it, but I still think it’s a bit funny and sad.

I’m guessing that his Digivice was holding him back huh? A person can have only one, and until his was destroyed it couldn’t reformat and upgrade. (I never saw the episode where Kari and TK got D3’s so I don’t know how they got them, the episode only aired once in the States). But, since they are in the digital world, when it exploded the power of light inside was able to draw more data and upgrade itself, opposite of Ken’s which drew in dark power from the Dark Ocean to upgrade itself (even if it was forced)

Ok, now I have to say something about this:

“It’s WarGreymon!” Davis exclaimed.
“But where’s Tai?” Sora asked, alarmed at his disappearance.

Its like déjà vu. What is it about the leader disappearing and a hot redhead worrying about him and the sudden appearance of a armored Mega? Lol. Sorry but seriously, did you do that on purpose? Though the smack talk was a bit off. It was more along the lines of…hey, did you copy and paste the script from the show and just change the names around? Cause that WAS Gallantmon’s line…hmm

I know that Tai hates not being able to help, but he has..well…experience in that department, so has learned patience. Davis on the other hand? The boys a dynamo of emotion, which makes sense with his partner being a dragon. To be unable to do anything must eat away at him pretty bad. Being dissed and in a way, pwoned by TK was the final straw. I still don’t know if it was his ‘Miracle’ power that allowed his D3 to evolve, or if it was his pure stubbornness. As Geovoni said in one of the Pokémon movies, “His body will be destroyed long before his will.” Davis is the kind of guy to go up to a much more powerful foe, smack talk, get a smack down, then still win in the end by tiring out and outlasting him in the end. I like how you write that into him. Its hard to write something that cant be described in words into a character at all times, yet you manage to pull it off.

I see that I still have a long ways to go on the road of writing.

Ok, what is it about the ‘fallen’ targeting Kari? It happened like, 5 times in the show, and it appears in most fan fiction. Cant the girl get a break? Just a small one? It’s like Yumi on Code Lyoko, she’s always the one targeted during an attack. I half way expect kai to start taking karate or something….yeay! more of Henry’s Master! That guy rocks! (I still think it’s Genni in disguise!) Oh, and on a side note, I think the cast is going to become paranoid about tall buildings. The guys probably will prohibit their girls from going more then 3 stories up from now on lol.

Now, for my absolute, all time, number 2 favorite scene of all time in your work.

Davis taking the hit.

I cant put into words without it sounding completely stupid, so I wont, but this scene is what made me stick to your work through all of the OC’s. That one scene, just a few tiny paragraphs has garnered my respect for you as a writer, and a permanent spot in my list of awesome writers for all time. If I had the money, I would pay a lot to see this one section made into a manga. Seriously, I really really would. The only thing that tops it is the scene from book 2 where Takato comforted Rika after she saw her father and mother together. But aside from that, this is my absolute favorite scene from your work of all time.

Of course, it DOES give Davis the ultimate of bragging rights. The other guys might SAY they would die for their girl, but he’s the only one that actually HAS, even if it was only temporary, and he didn’t know that would happen. Despite everything TK has and can do, I don’t think he can top that, nor should he really like, you know, WANT TO.

Davis: Ha! Take that T.J!
T.K./Kari: It’s T.K!
Ok, now onto the rest. Again, you have Rika in character here. She’s not the type to let someone get away if she can help it. She has that in common with Chaos, and its not even Harmony that makes her that way. The girls a natural born predator, a hunter.

Poor Takato….wait? No, not poor Takato, lucky Takato! Lol.

As for Terriermon’s observation. Come on! They’re the Digidestened! It’s what they do!...well, the WERE the digidestend, now three of them are Tamers technically right?

Oh, and one other thing:

“Let’s go!” he cheered, in Davis’ voice, leaping into the air. He flew up, wings taut back. “Veemon, it’s strange…I know how to fly…in fact, I can read your thoughts…”
“Hey, don’t do that!” Veemon complained.

Shouldn’t Davis be more worried about Veemon reading HIS thoughts? Davis might be think, but at least he knows how to keep his mouth shut. Veemon…doesn’t….at all.lol.

Also, slight typo here:

“I’m not sure…” Kari replied. Gatomon, now having dedigivolved, leapt onto your shoulder.

It’s her shoulder, not your shoulder. (Like I said before, I’m trying to help, though I make the same mistakes plenty, as I write seeing myself as the character when doing fight scenes so it happens every now and then.

I do wonder why Lucemon didn’t point out that it was actually Tai who attacked Kari, not himself…well aside from last chapter. Though it would have only served to anger Tai more and make the Terra Force larger lol.

Oh, and aside from the aformetioned favorite part of this book, this was my favorite part of the chapter:

“Hold on, you actually killed me Tai!” Davis remembered. Tai turned to him. O.o
“Oh, sorry…I guess I forgot…” he said embarrassed. -.-

Yeah, how easily so at that lol.

Over all, sweet mega ultra fantastic super chapter. Best one of the story. The only problem now though is that I will compare all major points to this one from now all. (AKA the Kahn effect)

I cant wait to read the next chapter!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Again, favorite part at the top:

“Wait!” Takato exclaimed. “I have another idea…”
“The words which normally spell doom…” Kenta said gloomy.
“Come on then, what is it?” Kazu asked.

That should have been Terriermon, but since he’s still out of it, I guess Kenta is subbing huh?lol

Oh! I had completely forgotten about the little telescope thingie! Wonder why Tai kept it all this time? Sentimental I guess, since his goggles have been passed on, its all he’s got left (that he can still use, I mean, the clothes he wore then would be way to small now)

Torch? Oh you mean flashlight! It’s been awhile since I saw that term used. I keep forgetting the subtle differences between English and English. Though my speech and writing patterns are a jamble of English, Japanese, German and a few others thanks to my over interest in reading, gamming, and watching tv/movies. It’s nothing major, just something that helps distinguish a writer as who they are. We all have those little things I’ve noticed. Your trademark being ‘Cheers’ (not in how you finish chapters, just as it’s the word you seem to use very frequently.) Like I said, every author has a word or phrase that appears repeatedly in their work, though they usually don’t even realize it, only their readers pick up on it. Like Peach Wookie (another friend of mine on here) hers is faith, or my friend and editor Arishi21’s is psychic. We all have one…though I wonder what mine is?

Oh and I wonder what happened to the other chick? Riley was only one of the two ‘bridge Bunny’s’ for Hypnos, where’s the other one? (I cant believe I cant even remember her name *frowns*)

Ok, dumb question #2. Why do the military even try? Seriously, I mean, they couldn’t do anything the first hundred times, what would make this one any different? A bullet is a bullet. It has done the exact same thing for the last hundred years, and it will continue to do the same thing for the next hundred years. If shooting at a giant weird looking thing attached via cable to a huge glob of raspberry jelly did absolutely zilch, why would it do anything to a forty foot giant Occultist priest that shoots fireballs from his hands? At least the JASD in Godzill came up with NEW weapons after figuring out they could do absolutely nothing whith what they had.

Oh, and who’s Rinchei? I don’t recognize the name…

Kazemon? So its name is really Windmon huh? That makes sense. Guess its like their version of Pixemon…hey! We haven’t seen him yet either! And he was reborn after the Dark Masters were defeated! (just future thought for you.)

Hmm so the score has at least one draw huh? Looks like Harmony was on par with him when they fought in the open, he just had the advantage with ‘guerrilla warfare’

“Who cares, its food!” Veemon cheered, leading Guilmon into happily reminiscing about food,

Oh lord, I forgot about Veemon. He was almost as bad as Guilmon wasn’t he? At least Veemon and Davis COULD become full. Guilmon has a black hole for a stomach lol.

Oh and just for future reference, Reppamon, as well as its entire evolutionary line are…well…weasels, not foxes, though the similarities are pretty darn close. Just a side note.

Reppamon’s intro reminded me of something from an RPG, seriously, the whole destiny thing. Not picking fun, just wishing Terriermon was conscious so he could *Curse you Harmonly and you intolerance for greatness!*

“Can we proceed?” Kazemon asked, tapping her foot irritated.

Not one for long introductions huh?

Now, I’m not gonna past it up cause it would be too long, but the dialog between Matt, Izzy, Mimi and Cody was like watching the show. Seriously, you put them in themselves with…well..to be frank, little if any trouble. Matt always found a way to make some kind of joke out of a horrible event that was always depressing, Izzy is a pocket sized tactician/library/thesaurus/dictionary, Mimi is a bit of a worrier, and Cody is his usual ‘go enemy go!’ self. (I hate that kid) Also you picked up on how smart Gomamon really is. The little guys not all jokes and laughs, as he proved in the past to be pretty cleaver. Like when he helped fight MegaSeadramon, an Ultimate level when he could no longer go higher than Champion. Good work.

Oh and then this little gem!

Tai sighed. “The main thing is…Sora…”
“I know…”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah…”

As you said, all the courage in the world is sod when it comes to girls lol.

Again, you got the hardest Human in contex here. Rika might not be the hardest character to write, but she is the hardest human. Her…lets just say, colorful feelings for Lilithmon are dead on target. And its not even Harmony doing the talking! She must really like the change in pace from her previous hosts.

Another nitpick, Gallentmon CM has ten wings, not four. And is equipped with both the sword Blutgang and the spear Gungnir. The two are not the same thing, ones a sword the other is a spear, we just didn’t see the spear much since Agent-01 destroyed it early on in the fight. I know that sometimes it looks like all I do is nitpick, but as I admitted in the past, I am a detail oriented person. Its just in my nature. Besides, you said yourself that it helps find little things to fix next time around. I’m just saving you some work is all lol.

I had almost forgotten how powerful Angamon and Angawoman were. In the show Angamon took out an Ultimate (Phantomon) just by nicking him, and the two WERE able to cause pain to Mega levels with their attacks. So it makes sense the Lilithmon would be wary of either one.

You ended this chapter beautify btw. Poor Tai, what is it with him and electrified walls?

I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja ne!

Favorite part of the chapter, right from the start:

“Takato, grab my hand!” Rika called out.
“Why?” Takato asked curious.
“Because I don’t want you falling on me again!” she answered.

Aw, poor Takato, only 2 years together and she’s tired of him lol. (No I don’t mean anything perverted, just referring to her not putting up with his antics)

Takato coming up with a good idea? (Looks at calendar and scratches head. It’s not the year 30 yet already is it?)
I wonder who landed on the bottom of the pile? Knowing his luck, probably Tai. The part with the flyers was also good. I half expected something about Impmon hanging onto Calumon’s legs as he/she (never was quite sure) floated down on his ears lol. The referral to last book was also nice. Tai wondering how Takato put up with falling into the digital world, whereas last book Takato said the same thing. (Though to be fair the Tamer’s only entered the Digital world…what? Twice?
“This digital world is divided into several layers. This is the lowest and largest layer. It consists of the bulk of the internet’s…more unsophisticated data.” Henry explained. TK nodded.

Meaning ¾ of the internet right? Sad but true. I wonder if anything ever popped up on them while they were there….seriously, like a bunch of pop up adds or something. (Yeah yeah, I know, always with the funny, its just part of who I am)

The ‘coming up with a plan’ was also perfectly in character. Your one of the few…well, the only person I’ve come across so far that writes Davis in character without making him a complete bone head. (he is one, just not a complete one)

The diversion was a good plan too, (though nitpick mode states that Takato, as drawing weapons from Gallantmon’s Crimson mode has a Sword AND an double ended lance, also, Lucemon does not have the attack Pandemonium Lost, that’s Barbamon, though I think he does have an attack called Paradise Lost in the DATS game)

Oh and Rika was right:

“I need sleep!” Takato complained.
“Need me to hit you awake?” Rika suggested.
“Not at the moment, but you can hit me later…” Takato replied suggestively.
“Takato, you can’t do sexual innuendo, don’t try!”

The boy just cant pull it off. He doesn’t have the knack for it lol.

Oh, and again you have Lucemon using Barbamon’s attack….

Just a question, out of curiosity. Is Lucemon supposed to be like, the evil Digimon equivalent of Davis? His…line of thinking, (Hulk smash!) just seems eerily similar…

AH The chapters Moment-ai was disrupted! That’s not supposed to happen! (I don’t mention every one, just the best ones, there was one in chapter 1 and 2 though. If there wasn’t one you’d hear from me lol)

I like how you did the MetalGarurumon fight here. Very reminiscent of his crushing Puppetmon four years prior. The entire time, he was in control. The other could do NOTHING to him. When fighting multiple enemy’s he might have trouble, but he has the best one on one record of the Digidestined to date, with only a single loss and a single draw (both being Myotismon, the other battle were not one on one so don’t count) Plus, you even used the Metal Wolf Snout! It might not be powerful, but its effective and pretty funny at the same time.

Hmm, the Matrix…did they ever actually get to watch that? Oh dear, please tell me it wasn’t lost during the merge between the two worlds! I mean, the loss of the second and third ones no big loss (as they ruined the Walskie bros credibility) but the first one was ground breaking! Maybe in the future there could be a oneshot of the whole group going to see a move? (not every story you write has to be current to your most recent work, its ok to go back and write something that takes place during a prior time period)

The Wormmon bit was REALLY good. The little guy might not have said much in the show (compared to the others) but when he did speak it was always very sage like advice. The little fella is wise beyond his years. Honestly, I think he was probably the smartest of the partners for 01 and 02, with the only possible match being Tentomon, who was a bit…eccentric (thus proving he was a genius) Also, you again do that thing with Gatomon. Having her come up out of nowhere (just like a cat would) and offer advice. Wormmon might be the ‘wisest’ but she’s still the most observant. I’d say she and Renamon are about equal in most respects. The only major difference is Renamon being a bit older and perhaps more seasoned in the ways of the world, living and fighting. The two would probably be very close friends in real life, as they are…unique among their comrades.

Rika and Harmony’s little spat was interesting too. Though I am beginning to think the partners relationship is not what most think…I’ll explain it in a PM, as it’s a bit long and my reviews are long enough.

Ok, even though the first part is my favorite for the chapter, this part gets an honorable mention:

“When Harmony and Chaos come together, they make great things…”
“Takato, we’re fifteen and that wouldn’t help in the…”
“No, not that…” Takato replied, blushing greatly, eliciting equal blushes from Rika.

Again, not exactly saying you write Rika/Harmony as having pervish tendencies (though thinking it pretty loudly) it WAS the first thing that came to her mind lol.

Great chapter, horrible cliffhanger (which means it was very well done. Jeeze I’m glad I came along after the entire thing was written, Id’ died from suspense otherwise)

I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja ne!

Hmm, I understand Henry looking out for Suzi, but did he up and forget that Lopmon is one of the Devis? (forgive my spelling please) Her cohorts gave them plenty of trouple in the series, despite only being Ultimates. Not nitpicking here, just stating what I see. I do hope to see a chapter one day where Suzi gets to prove herself in battle to the others. She’s about the same age now as they were when everything started, so she could throw that at them.

Now, if there is one thing that I would nitpick at, it would be the Digidestined’s arrival scene. I understand that you had everything happen in a hurry to make it more ‘suspenseful’ but it could have been just a little more spaced out. I know I have no room to talk or judge since I’m a student when it comes to writing Digimon fics, but it would have been a bit more fun and interesting if they had a night in ‘this’ real world. Have the tamers have to repay the dept of letting them stay at their place for the night lol. Also the humor behind having to hide their identities would have been a great source for material. The Tamer’s trying to figure out how to hide them in plain sight and all. If the Digidestined were still wearing their known outfits the Tamer’s could have ‘donated’ for some of them, though Tai would have been a bit difficult since he’s the oldest and tallest of the group. Again, not really picking, just thought it would be interesting to see the Digidestined staying at the Tamer’s, maybe see a poster, commercial, or even an episode from the show on TV. (Not the 02 finally, may it burn in agony) perhaps even help respond to a Wild One. Then the following day when they meet up at the park have everything go to pot. The reason I say this is three fold. First it would allow more material (like a chapter, not three lol) second it would give a chance for a bit more humor (my domain) and third, when they arrived, they were sort of expecting trouble, they were prepared to deal with an immediate threat. Having a day of rest would put them on their lulls so to speak, and catch them off guard.

Ok, enough of my random thoughts, back to the story!

Ok, one other tiny little thing. It would have been kinda cool if the two Beezlamon had fought. First in their normal forms with the bad one winning, only for the good one to Mode Change and lay the wooping on him. Just once I would like to see the Tamer’s Beelzamon win a major battle rather than soften the guy up and the mains finish it off.

I will say that your pick was good though for the Digidestined to have to fight. You chose the two largest and most destructive of the 7 Demon’s for them to battle, along with a really nasty back up guy. The only giants the other group has is MegaGargomon and Imperialdramon, while the other team has the lion’s share of the big brutes. So it was like watching one of the Godzilla movies to me. The Tamer’s/ Digidestined had to fight the more powerful demons, but were more on their level due to the speed factor. It doesn’t matter how strong your punch is if you cant lay a hit on the other guy, which would have been the problem for say, Zudomon or MegaKabutarymon fighting Lilithmon, Lucemon or even Damon. They’re just too small and fast for the big guys to deal with. (Though it would have been cool for Zudomon to hammer throw Levithmon (i.e grab him by the tails, spin him around, then slam him like a beat rug) even if it wouldn’t take him down.) The line ups were for the best I think, as the Tamers/ Digidestined group would have butchered Belphamon or Leviathmon to ribbons.

Oh, and despite it not being the Tamer’s Beelzamon, the lines were right on the money for him.

Another point out, Digmon stopped saying ‘The Drill of Power’ after the fifth or sixth time to ‘The Drill of Knowledge’ (It was pretty funny the first time it happened. ‘I used to say the Drill of Power but I thought this made me sound smarter!’)

Favorite line for this chapter:

“My aunt owns a place near Mount Fuji…” Mimi suggested.
“Is it big enough for everyone?” Matt asked.
“It’ll have to be…” Izzy answered.

Come on, if they could fit 12 people and digimon into his apartment bedroom, they should have no problem fitting in with their folks at a HOUSE owned by family of MIMI of all people. (she’s the only other Digihuman aside from Rika that’s loaded…with the exception of Thomas pain in the A Norstine, whose not in your work…yet.

These lines I thought were kinda reversed:

“At least there, we’ll be close enough to Tokyo to be able to attack…” Cody noted.
“Yeah, but it’ll work vice versa too…” Matt said grimly, as the others dipped their heads in worry.

Matt’s the aggressive one in the group, Cody’s the ‘but what if’ guy. (Ok, I’ll say it again, I REALLY don’t like the little brat)

I liked how you picked up on how the show picked on poor Mimi so much too, even extending to her partner.

“FLOWER CANNON” Lillymon shouted, sending a blast straight at Belphemon. Belphemon simply shrugged off the blast. “Hey, no fair!” Lillymon complained. “That should’ve worked!”

That almost sounded like something the guys at Digimon uncensored would have said lol.

I do wonder what you mean by ‘Digimon’ in this chapter though. Did you mean ‘Armor Digimon’ by any chance? It’s just something I kinda noticed. I did love the fight though. Despite only being Ultimates, the Digidestined partners are powerful. They’re ursed to fighting Mega’s. I think my favorite part of the fight was MKM (my abbreviation for MegaKabutarymon) tossed out Beelzamon when he tried to ‘scratch’ him like LadyDevimon did so long ago. He’s pretty serious about people scratching his shell isn’t he?

Uhh, this might be a stupid question, but what did this part mean?

“It was those miracles that imprisoned us in the Dark Ocean…they prevented us from escaping along with Daemon…” Belphemon replied.

I don’t remember the other 6 being mentioned until 04, and even then it was only one of them. Did I miss more than just one episode from that season or something?

Oh, and I loved this part:

“This area is destroyed…” Leviamon commented.
“Then we shall destroy the rest...even without Beelzemon, we are strong enough to eliminate the rest of this city, which has been protected so faithfully by the Digidestined…with them absent, we shall finally succeed.” Leviamon nodded in response.

Really, what CAN he do? His got shotguns, not the most destructive of weapons mind you. He could…I don’t know, drive through some walls to weaken them into collapsing? Beelzamon just isn’t destructive. Powerful? Yes, but not destructive. The best he could do is maybe throw some cars into buildings and shoot the gas tanks to blow them up (which doesn’t even actually work in real life).

The whole part with Ryo was very well done:

“Nice to know that my survival is less significant than my apparent death…” Ryo replied coldly.
Lol, that was SO Ryo. The guys cocky most of the time, but whenever someone actually has something over him he becomes a complete…well, pain in the back side would be the best term I could think of. He always had this little frown he wore whenever Takato and Rika were talking in the show. No, its not my overactive imagination, I distinctly remember it. It wasn’t anything big, but it was still there.

The groups reactions though were perfect. Tai feeling guilty, then getting the ‘cold shoulder’ when he tried to apologize, and the others being shocked silent. Like you said, Tai reacts before thinking quite often. You captured that pretty well.

The entire ‘chat’ with the DACS guy was really good, but the guy forgot something very important. The humans attacked first, the Digimon reacted accordingly. Juggernaut is effectively a Nuke. It wipes out aggressors and noncons at the same time. The only ‘good’ side to it is that it doesn’t cause any harm to humans. If it did, then they’d be singing a different tune. Oh, and I liked the bit with Kari’s fire btw. She had her brothers temper, just much better control over it. Again, a minute detail, but one that helps define her character.

Hmm:

“We are the Seven Demon Lords…” Lucemon chanted tyrannically.
“Where are the rest?” Kari asked.

That kinda sounded like Davis…looks like he’s starting to rub off on her huh lol.

Also, the picking of the oh so famous defunked DNA Digivolution was great. (‘Oh what’s the use’) That was one of my favorite episodes. Funny how you seem to pick them to refer to so frequently…

I never really did get the whole Lucemon being an Ultimate, yet still the leader of the 7 demons in the DATS game…(which was ruined by the removal of Daemon and replacing him with ‘Creepymon’ I swear I felt like I was playing a game for 5 year olds when I saw that name for the first time.)

Hawlkmon is Male O.o I didn’t know that actually…well, to be fair, the voice IS kinda…well, difficult to tell. That and all the others have partners of the same gender…what does that make Selphamon? (I think that was it’s name, the DNA form of Aquelamon and Gatomon)

Oh well, great chapter. Like I said before, this is my favorite book of the 6 so far. You did a great job writing it.

Cant wait to read the next chapter!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

*Jumps up to get tub of popcorn*

Yeah! My favorite one is on again!

The way you start this chapters really good. It reminds my of something but I’m not sure of what. (I remember it ending with a young girl saying: Things were so simply back then, now. And then it’s a blank, it’s not Terminator, but it was something similar….) The radio bit was good too. You always do such a good job with the details, little things most people don’t pay attention to but are important for setting the mood or setting for the reader. Again, the image of Renamon trying to do something human, this time eating cereal, is actually quite funny. Can she even hold a spoon? Or does she slurp like Davis? (nah, she’s to prim for that, besides it’d run down her chin because of the way her jaw and face are structured)

My favorite part this chapter:

They returned to simply appreciating the morning. Suddenly, Renamon appeared, making Takato jump. Rika chuckled at the sight.
“You do that on purpose!” Takato complained. Renamon smiled.
“Of course…” she replied, leaving Takato unable to know whether she was being honest or sarcastic. “Shall I presume that Guilmon is asleep?”

Poor Takato, Renamon’s ninja poof thing is pretty cool though.

I also had to wonder about this part:

Despite her wishes, she had yet to get into any kind of relationship with him, mainly due to her lack of bravery in asking, as well as not knowing what to ask, and not helped by Guilmon’s obnoxious childish personality that she was so amused by.

Uh, does she pay any attention to her tamer at all? Guilmon is so much Takato that its scary sometimes. All she needed to do was watch Rika a bit. (Though she could probably get away without having to be quite a rough me thinks)

Yey! Enter the digidestend! I couldn’t help but be reminded of one of my favorite shows of all time reading this part (aside from Digimon) Code Lyoko. I could see Davis and Yolie having a paper volley ball game in class lol. Too bad that we cant do stuff like that State side. If teach see’s you with anything other than pencil, paper, or text book, it gets taken. (So that means we just have to be more careful) I guess in Japan the teachers gave up on trying to take the tech away though.

And we get to see Genni again! He’s like the Obi-One of Digimon. I still remember the episode where he fought Piedmon to a draw. (I also hope that he and Sensei will cross paths one day *crosses fingers*) You captured his personality as well as could be. He always knows more than he lets on, but he also knows that it’s more important sometimes for people to learn things for themselves (just like Sensei) but will help them along the way. I wouldn’t be surprised is he showed up as an intern or something at Hypnosis or something, just to mix things up and mess around with poor Yamaki and his ‘bridge bunnies’ (Eva reference)

Favorite line for the chapter #2:

“Henry!” Terriermon pleaded. “Can you digivolve me to Rapidmon?”
Henry chuckled. “No, you play fair and square…”
“But Henry!”
“Momentai…”

HAHAHA reverse play huh? Oh man that was good. Not too often Terriermon gets it like that.

Then everyone piles up in Izzy’s place again. You would have thought that the group would have a meeting place like the Tamers Hideout by now. It was hard enough to fit the original 8 (I count Kari as a first gen) in that tiny apartment, but with the 02 group in addition? Jeeze, they’re packed in there like sardines in a can lol.

As soon as I started reading this the first time I actually figured out a little part of what was going to happen. Not who the villains were exactly, just that it would be a larger number than they are used to. The Tamers have 5 Mega’s with 2 of them being ‘supers’, which, while being a powerful force, is not much of a match for 4 or more enemy Mega’s. The only reason the dididestened were able to defeat the Dark Masters was because they took them on separately. I highly doubt that if they tried to fight all four of them, even at the end of the season when they were at the top of their game that they could have won. Its all a matter of numbers and levels.

The little part where the group split up was perfectly done btw. You had them all in character to the T. Joe having a legit reason he couldn’t go, but still giving them small but critical advice, Cody with his usual comp out (I’m sorry, but I’ll say it now up front, I cant stand the kid. He’s a self righteous, overbearing, overly cautious whiner.) Mimi staying because of her parents (she was the only one who ever seemed to give her folks any consideration when it came to her decisions.) And Tai (see, I can spell it correctly!) subtly taking the lead without really doing so. Though the section is very small, you use tiny character details to flesh it out and make it realistic. Good work. Oh, and I couldn’t help but notice the first name Tai listed off after himself, Sora lol.

All around great first chapter for a story. You introduced the majority of the cast, and the events leading up to the meeting very well. I think this story, above your others shows your skill with writing. Not because its my favorite, but because it has the largest character roster of cannon characters. Even though your other works have more characters, you have a bit of freedom in writing them because they have no ‘outline’ that you have to follow as far as fans of the series are concerned. But to have this many characters, all of whom are well known and defined in the same limited space, and remain in character is truly a feat.

Oh, and on a side note. What was wrong with HerculesKabuterimon? He’s human enough isn’t he? Sure he’s got more than 2 arms, but its not like the Tamers control their digimon’s Mega forms like a exo-suit from the inside or anything. They just kinda…float there in their little bubble thingie…

Bah, I guess its not important. Its all water under the bridge now right?

Great job with the chapter, I cant wait to read the next one!

Till next time, Ja Ne!

Nice new story. that was a wierd unexpected side-affect. 15/10 & faved & alerted. so rika has a sister...

A GOOD MEGA FOR HAWKMON ,Gryphonmon