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| Faermage-KH Junkie 2008-08-22 ch 4, anon. | abuseLOLOLOL Heheh, yet still so many unsolved mysteries... |
| Faermage-KH Junkie 2008-08-22 ch 3, anon. | abuseLOLOLOL... I luv the Price is Right scene, it's a joke on all the Phoenix/Edgeworth fanbois, right? |
| Count X. Gamlxltoe 2008-08-20 ch 4,  | abuseha ha ha, good one |
| Count X. Gamlxltoe 2007-12-13 ch 3, | abuseThis was good, man. the court scene was better than mine. |
| Mentality at its Worst 2007-12-13 ch 3, | abuseAHH. MARK. I -LOVE- THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Why'd you have to scar me for the rest of my life?! Man, I feel old, I remember when Bob Barker was the host and not Drew Carrey. It was funny, though, I quite enjoyed the OOC Edgeworth. Larry and his sleep-walking bit was also hilarious! I can't say much about the trial scene yet because you just started it, but you seem to be going in the right direction, I think. As long as you're having fun, that's all that matters. Great job :) |
| Zego 2007-12-04 ch 1, | abuseA good story. Keeps with in touch with tone of the games, but then Larry adds some extra hilarity, good work! |
| Mentality at its Worst 2007-11-26 ch 2, | abuseMy little sister does the same thing in hotel rooms--she goes looking for all the free stuff she can steal without getting in trouble. Next for grammatical focus, I think you should try to watch carefully and make sure that if a character is speaking that there are quotation marks before the dialogue and after. For content, perhaps try slowing down the story a tad bit--again, this can be done by adding some more detail. It's definitely much better than the first chapter, but always look to improve! Plot-wise...you had a few giggles in there, for sure. “Best night of my life,” Phoenix said, while looking up at the ceiling. What's this, now? Pray tell, Mark, what's going on here? It sounds interesting, ha ha! And Larry and Pearl curled up with garlic and steaks is VERY cute, by the way. I couldn't help but giggle at that, honestly. Keep writing, hun. :) |
| Count X. Gamlxltoe 2007-11-26 ch 2, | abusePretty good I has a good beginning but can you meet up to this demand? ... yea, I think so. |
| Mentality at its Worst 2007-11-15 ch 1, | abuse:) Just make sure to break the sentences up at the right places (to avoid run-on sentences) and add a bit more detail whenever and wherever you can, dear. This story looks like it should be very promising, though, so keep working at it. I can't wait to see what you'll do with it, Mark! |
| Count X. Gamlxltoe 2007-11-13 ch 1, | abuseHehehe, that was a good job Mark. |