Nice fic XD

but

Hibird wasnt with him yet at that time, he shows up after the Kokuyo arc

anyways

JA

short yet...wao...i agree with did tsuna mangae to make him feel...pity?wao.*smell air*-i smell 1827 in the air...-but that probably is just me

haha! interesting POV! xD

Tsunada? I hate to be rude but your story fails just because of your summary. His name is Tsunayoshi. Emphasis on this yoshi part. His nickname is Tsuna. Where did you get Tsunada from?

It's pretty awesome that u dare to write a ...u should write a long fanfiction that have climax so that the readers will keep reading your fanfiction.

Sorry if I hurt your feeling.

Ganbatte!

wow...he seems out of character, very... ruthless. lol. do you have microsoft word? you have some words that don't fit in(like, words that sound similar but are spelled differently) like 'beet' is supposed to be 'beat' and 'there''their'

um, some tenses seemed to be mixed up too, i think it's most noticable when Hibari heads back to the disciplinary room. where you said 'went' which is past tense and then stated that hibari 'contemplate' which is in present tense instead of saying 'contemplated' which fits in better. you switch often between present and past tense, when you write, make sure that it stays in one tense )