your "arya" character is the biggest mary sue i've ever seen. lhikan wouldn't waste his time beating her he would just kill her the fuck off so she couldn't continue on raping canon like this.

OK concept, but honestly, would Lhikan be THAT mean? Maybe try original fic. Your writing is better than most people I've seen here (Thank Mata-Nui for spelling and grammar!), but...

Please don't make Lhikan the Awesome the mean one. As I said, try original fic.

So... Nice concept, try original fic, and keep up the spelling and grammar! (high-five if you used spell-check AND proofread!)

-Kaps