great story.

great story.

I really like this story and I hope that ypu continue it. will her dad come back? will mac and harm get together?

okay, i'm fairly certain I reviewed this chapter, but i think when i submitted it, the site did that "experiancing an overload" crap and it didn't go through.
Anyway, i absolutely *loved* this story. Your writing technique is very impressive and i can see everyone doing the things you've written. I've noticed around here that a lot of people, when trying to slap in a sudden new family member into Harm's life, they can't make it realistic enough, or logical enough for us to believe it could really happen. But you've mastered it and it all makes perfect sense. I salute you on a job well done.
Now I'm gonna look for more of your stories!

c yas

~sancti

wow, u sure like to write long chapters! I'm gonna read more later.
Once again I'd like to emphasize how *real* the kids characters are. I feel like I wouldn't be surprised if they actually existed. Logan scares me. I hope Harm takes care of him. I'll be back for more!!
c yas

~sancti

i loved these chapters, nice and long too. I'll read more later!! Kally and Kaiden's characters are so real and you really feel like you *know* them. And everybody is in character!

~sancti

okay, i just found this story while searching lazily around the site, and i got halfway through chapter 2, and I *hate* to stop, but i have to have dinner. I'll read more later! I love this!

~sancti

I absolutly adore everything you have ever written! I am a HUGE fan of JAG and hope to read more of your excellent fanfics!

Sequel?

This is a really good story. The only problem I had with it is that Kallinda behaves more like a fourteen year old than a ten year old. At age ten, most kids haven't developed the challenging attitude that typically comes with junior high school and puberty. She also talks like a young teen rather than a girl. Kaiden is really cute, and I liked Kayla a lot too. Would have liked to see a bit more of the Harm/Mac dynamic. This was an awesome read. Thanks!

Finally! I have been waiting for ever for the finished product. I almost gave up. LOL Good story. Needs a sequal, with wedding bells!

I really enjoyed this. Though I was rooting for a Harm/Mac romance, I liked the fact that you left it be and kept the focus on Harm's relationship with his new children. The plot worked well-- the suspects for the kidnapping were plausible as was the resolution (if a bit cliche :-) The character interactions also worked. I was going to be really upset if Harm moved to Baltimore with Kayla, and you had me half-convinced he was going to.

On a writing critique note: One suggestion I'd make is to try to show the characters' feelings more. You ended up telling us how they were feeling and why, rather than showing us those feelings. That will give each scene more impact.

I look forward to seeing more of your writing.

Valerie

I love this story!!! How about a sequel that deals with Harm and Mac's relationship, Kally as a teenager, Kaiden as a pre-pubescent boy, how Harm and Mac deal with that fact, and their careers as well? Its an idea.....

Absolutely excellent!!!!!

really great so far.
i'll be looking for the next chapters soon, i'm looking forward to them.
there is more isn't there? please tell me there's more? do not leave me hanging like this. pleasepleasepleaseplease?