   Unyielding Chaos 8/29/08 . chapter 1I read the reviews for this story before I read the actual story, because I was a little skeptical about it having only 275 words. But the people who reviewed were giving you a really good response, so I started reading this story with very high expectations. Expecations that, quite simply, were not met.
I'm not going to pretend that it's horribly written or drastically out of character, because it isn't. But I'm also not going to pretend what several people who have read it have been misled to believe, that it's an amazing story. Because no matter whether it's in character or not, and even if you write coherently, there's nothing more disappointing in a fanfiction than anticlimax.
In my not-so-humble opinion.
It's not just that the ending was abrupt. Abrupt endings can still make good fics, if they are done well enough. This was not the case here. You made the ending short and sudden, which is fine, even though I would have liked to read in more detail what happened leading up to this point, but it seemed to me like you were trying to use the abrupt ending as a tool to give an effect that was really not accomplished here. The first part of the story revolved around events that were so predictably in-character that it made it somewhat boring, and then at the end, the entire climax of the story was that he gave her his scarf. To put it quite bluntly, nothing happened, and that was disappointing. |
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