Reviews for Atomic Betty GD

Reviews For: Atomic Betty GD

Starlll 2008-09-17 ch 1,	abuseYOU TOOK OUT SONIC DARES!
Tailsic 2007-11-27 ch 1,	abuseto unknownarrior yeah i know grammer is my weak ponit, i have thousand storie idea in my head, but i just don't how to write what goes on in my head, and i do leave some description on what the poeple do just not as big as your and not for every person, but i try to do what i can do with my ability and with review like this.
unknownwarrior 2007-11-27 ch 1, anon.	abuseYou really do need to work on your grammar. One of the biggest mistakes that I’ve noted was with dialog. “Dialog goes like this,” said unknownwarrior. “Dialog does not go like this”, said unknownwarrior. This story does have potential, but try adding in a bit more description to make the readers feel like they are a part of the story. Here’s an example of part of your story with my corrections, but bare in mind that there are probably still some mistakes: On Earth, Betty and her friends, Noah and Paloma, were getting ready go on a weeklong camping trip with her father. The kids were gathering all their camping gear together. “Boy, Betty, this is a lot of stuff we got here just to go camping,” Noah said struggling to pick up one of the bags that contained their camping equipment. “Well my dad always said to be prepared for anything, when you go out into the wilderness,” Betty said with a smile on her face as she picked placed a bag into the car‘s trunk. “Yeah, but this stuff is really heavy,” Noah said placing the bag down to wipe the developing sweat off his face. “I’ll take that, Noah,” Paloma said, already carrying three of their bags. She grabbed Noah’s bag and heaved them to the van. “I’ve loss all my confidence as a man,” Noah sighed following Paloma with his head bowed in shame. Betty just laughed at her friend’s antics. The kids eventually packed everything into the car, well Betty and Paloma did. Noah just sat on the curb with his head bowed in shame. “Good jobs kids, will be ready for anything now,” Betty’s father said. “Yeah dad, we’re all pack up and ready to go,” Betty said as they all got into the van. “Safety first kids, bucket up,” Betty’s farther said has they all put there seatbelts on, “and away we go.” He stepped on the gas peddle and they drove off to the wilderness. _ I noticed that you spelled father as “farther” I think it would make more sense for Noah to struggle with a bag that contained camping equipment than food, since food, in general, isn’t really all that heavy. While no one here expects you to have absolutely perfect mastery of the English language (after all, it’s a bit screwy here and there), you should still be a bit more careful in places. Remember to double check your work and than check before posting. Overall, your spelling is good, but as mentioned WATCH for grammar mistakes. BTW some of the more stricter members of this site would not even give your story a chance if you have mistakes in your summary: Atomic betty battle again maximus I.Q. new's minion the Blue Blood Monk. Try: Maximus has a new minion called the Blue Blood Monk, and it’s up to Atomic Betty to defeat her. Feel free to use my corrections, and I highly recommend that you find a beta reader (editor). Just wander around this site’s forums and ask around for one. Remember there are people willing to help if you just ask :)
Nicktendo Squad 2007-11-26 ch 1,	abuseYeah what does GD mean? LOL curious. ^^; DO MORE!!
Cold-heart-Angel23 2007-11-26 ch 1,	abuseI believe this is very good. Uh one question? Just out of curiosity what does GD stand for anyway. Just saying. I think this is a good surprise OC's make the story so original. Update soon!

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