Reviews for Why Am I Here?

LesMisLoony
2007-11-30
ch 1,

abuseI like it. I agree with the 'it is but a river' being kind of... squicky... but the rest is rather good. I don't usually write musical!fic because I feel like a lot of it the deep emotion has already been expressed in the songs, but I think you managed to do a brief expansion on one point of ECAET quite nicely.

Jenny
2007-11-29
ch 1, anon.

abuseI like the sentiment behind it, but it kind of comes across as quite pretentious and not very naturalsitic in the language, if you know what I mean. 'It is but a river' annoyed me in particular for some reason- I think it's the 'but'. It just isn't believable. And the dammed/damned pun was ill-judged, I think- really not appropriate. But I haven't seen you writing here before, so if you're new then it was a good first effort and practise makes perfect so don't let me discourage you! Don't take this as a flame- I think if you work hard at making the language more natural it could be a very moving poem.

J xx

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