Very nice! I liked it a lot. I like how the characters are similar to in the play. However, I think you leaned on Shakespeare too much for the balcony scene. I just think you are talented and need not lean on another's work. Maybe you wanted to do that for effect but still.
Anyways; Very nice!=]

Hmm. Now, this could get interesting. Rhea is very much in Juliet's position, but she's not nearly as helpless to control her own fate as Juliet is.

Oh, Lord, co-captains of the fencing team who dislike each other. That is not a pleasant position to be in. I spent my senior year in college as a tri-captain, and the other two wouldn't even speak to each other. Which just gave me more of the administrative work.

Waltz after waltz. You know, there are times when I could get into that. I really could. And then the unmasking at midnight . . . whatever else may be going on in this school, they definitely teach style.

Third person omniscient is a difficult perspective to write. While I applaud your courage for trying to use it in this chapter, it might be best if you stuck with third person limited, and just picked one person in whose head we could reside for the whole chapter.

Rhea is all ready to be belligerent and nasty right from the get-go, isn't she? I suppose that's not entirely unexpected from a teenager who's been brought up to kill people and has just been sent away from her home against her will. I wonder if Tyrol knows she's here. He might have at least come to say hello.

Well, Lady Darishi certainly has some interesting ideas for welcoming new students to her school. I wonder if Rhea's father just neglected to mention his daughter's previous extracurricular activities. Seems a little odd that she'd pick on Valerius specifically to squire Rhea around the school -- unless most of the students had also been affected by the Rednallo clan in some way or another.

Blink, blink. Two more chapters already! This is fast.

It's not quite as noirish as I'd anticipated, but that's okay. I have to say, I'm definitely on Rhea's side here. If she's truly that valuable a sidekick to her father, it's probably in his best interest to keep her around. You don't just send off your best soldiers to boarding schools. Any damage to his reputation has probably long since been done.

I appreciate the descriptions of characters and place, but it might be a little smoother to integrate them into the story rather than all in one lump paragraph.

On to the next chapter . . .

Romeo and Juliet by way of Raymond Chandler? Interesting concept. I think I just might stick around a little to see how this plays out.

This prologue is certainly exciting and action-packed, but it felt rushed. I would have enjoyed a little more time taken to set the scene, really allow the atmosphere to build. Atmosphere is as important as anything else in noir, after all. I take it that I'm not really supposed to care about any of the characters in the prologue, but when the actual story begins, I want to savor the experience.

Your writing flows nicely, and you've got a certain amount of style. I do want to see where this is going, and enjoy myself along the way.