Oh god, All My Loving! SUCH a good song!
Okay, onto the fic...
It was amazing, for such a short piece! I loved it! I loved how Walburga is going crazy, how he counted the cigarette butts, and how he wants an escape. Awesome job! I LOVED this!

Ah, All My Loving by The Beatles. Anyone who likes Regulus and puts All My Loving lyrics in their fic is good in my book. xD
Anyway, I love your descriptions of Walburga Black (her yellow teeth, cracked lips, wilted hand) and the way Regulus counts the cigarettes she smokes.
Great little piece on Regulus.

Ooh I love the wistful voice you've given Reg here...that childhood boy innocence is so very believable and heartbreaking :). The compassion he feels for his mother and Sirius is so real...Good job Fray

Paddy

Just a correction, the song is called, 'All My Loving,' not 'Close Your Eyes." Anyway, great fic. I really loved it.

I really enjoyed reading this! Very beautifully written.

Pinky x XD o.O

Regulus is not God, his brother is. But Regulus is definitely heavenly, I can't argue with that. Damn you, for making me obsessed.

And because I took so long to get to this, here's a super long review.

She inhaled deeply from a wet limp cigarette; the ash from it littered the table around her like fallen stars. - absolutely stupendous imagery, and for some reason, it gives me this vision of a bitter old hag, surrounded by things infinitely more beautiful than her. Stunning.

His eyes tracing the black line of ash and the beginning of the end, the yellowing filter. - this doesn't make sense, you just need to change the end of the sentence before it to a comma and join them though. It just doesn't make sense as a single sentence.

I've never read anything about Walburga either, and I'm getting this really interesting picture of her, exactly like you wanted to potray - she's dying and Regulus is aching to hold on.

Her teeth are yellowing now, decaying at the same rate as the rest of the house. - once again, wonderful line, and incredibly well written, comparing the two like that. You amaze me, you really do Fray. =D

Sirius swings dramatically into the kitchen, breaking his concentration, making his mother scowl in indignation at the muggle clothes her eldest son wore. - There's a tense issue here, it should be the clothes her son wears, if you want to stick to present tense. I think, anyway.

Absolutely stunning, you do know I'm jealous of your talent, right. *tries to steal Fray's words*

There are simply no words to describe this...it is grief and regret and shadows...Your portrayal of Sirius was amazing, and Regulus was also exceedingly real-feeling. I especially loved line "...the ash from it littered the table around her like falling stars."
So symbolic...
-Alli

beautiful work frayed!


what a lovely piece! im jelyous! btw: did yu see the REgulus sentence i published?

hugs, again WELL DONE!

DIZI

Regulus wanted her to say more, to be more.

Aww... I love the song 'All My Loving'!
This was great. I loved the line I quoted above, and the last one.
- Gaby

Wow. This is probably my favourite piece of yours that I've read. There was so much anger, resentment and sadness in little Regulus, yet the writing was delicate. Well done you.

Fave lines:(tough choice)"Her teeth are yellowing now, decaying at the same rate as the rest of the house" and "Their mother is dying at the dining room table..."

Kudos!

- nahara

That was simply beautiful. I love this line: She had sat at the dining table, her face shaped into creases and lines born by the anger and fury she held at almost every minute of the day. She inhaled deeply from a wet limp cigarette; the ash from it littered the table around her like fallen stars.

It's used with such simple words, but holds a much more sophisticated manner.

And he counts the cigar butts, one by one, between each comes his well-thought-out thoughts :)
wonderful, fray!
a.N

This was great, like usual. Enough said.

This is just beautiful Fray. Just so - desolate (not sure that's the right word). Love the contrast with the other mothers seeing their children off. The lines that really struck me were "the anger and fury she held at almost every minute of the day" and "Sirius swings dramatically into the kitchen" (SO Sirius!) And now I will be singing that song for the rest of the day...

"You will not disappoint me."

Oh, wow, that line was so powerful and simultaneously sad. I love how it was the only dialogue in the story.

Poor Regulus. His mother won't even see him off on September 1st. :( But, nice touch in adding in a time when Walburga Black wasn't so cold to her son; it made her later indifference and decay all the more noticeable.

This made me tear up while reading it, it was so amazing. Thank you for writing it.

The Beatles, and Regulus *claps hands excitedly*!! Awesome combination ;].

This is so wonderful, and I particularly love the way it kind of skips around in time, and it all fits so damn well. I just - yeah, love it so much. It's so pretty, and bittersweet, and it's such an amazing read and I'm almost crying. Again. That's twice you've done that this morning (well, night for you, I think).

-Huffie x ;]