> ...and here Jack realized that he really must stop complaining about Nell, for if somewhere in the world existed a manuscript in which all of his thoughts were transcribed, then readers casually perusing the contents might conclude that Nell would later become an adolescent love interest, and what a cliché that would be... <

Hee hee- I like what you do with Jack's dialogue!

Now I'm all atwitter to see what Rick's planning to do.

Great story. I'm addicted to it ^_^

That was amazing. I love this story and I can't wait to see how everything plays out. And your writting is lovely.

Story: 8.25/10. Some great story ideas and I think that the story is going to be really good, but so far, I think that it lacks direction. It seems to be a bunch of vaguely related scenes and I don't always see the overriding plot or theme.

Characters: 9.5/10. I think that your characters are very well done. Jack as a kid is priceless and you do a very good job of making your OCs come to life. It does get a tad confusing at times, with so many OCs being introduced.

Creativity: 9.25/10. This is very different from other POTC fics that I've read in both tone and content.

Writing: 8.5/10. Your writing in general is very good. Some really nice dialogue and pretty good description as well. I think that the style of the first chapter is significantly more non-standard than the other two chapters and it sometimes feels labored to me.

Believability: 9/10. This fic in general feels very much like it belongs in both the canon and the period. The only thing that I was a bit skeptical about was that Jack had never seen red hair before, but I assume that you had a good reason for that.

Overall: 9/10. I wish that it worked better as a single story, but your characters are so great and I love the general feel of this story.

I'm adoring Alice already, the snotty little witch. I found Jack's fascination of her red hair quite adorable - he seems to develop a liking for the colour, does he not? An enjoyable read, however i'm a little dim, and being attracted like a moth to the flame that is that intriguing chapter title, have not read the chapters before it. No points to me for methodicalness.

Delightful! You've certainly captured the awkwardness of kids on the threshold of adolescence.

And I don't think Alice is overly MarySueish- she's too unlikable (so far) for that. 'Never could stand girls of that sort when I was in school with 'em...

Great chapter. Loved how Jack says he wants to escape his mtoher's anger, so cute. Seems just like how a little Jack would be.

I've really enjoyed reading this fic so far! You have a sophisticated writing style, and portray the characters really well. Many of the scenes have made me smile, particularly Jack waking his mother up.
Good work! Please update soon, and I look forward to the next chapter. :)

Wonder what Peter is telling Jack. Great chapter, can't wait for another one.

Love it!
Just what I need so I'm not bored on my christmas holidayss!
It's cool seeing what Jack would be like as a kid. Lol
Keep it up!

Oye. If Jack has to spend any amount of time with Nellie, that will fully explain why he'll run off to sea.

Oh, i love it! Please continue, darling.

XD Damn that was dense! lmao It took me like two hours to read this chapter... but maybe that’s saying more about my reading skills than your choice of writing style. lol Anyway, I absolutely love this story. I can’t wait to see what happens next chapter. ^_~ Was that Tia Dalma whispering to him to jump? I hope Cutler saves him. hehehehe
^-^ Update soon, please!

A very good start.

Cool begining! Can't wait for more!