(Clapping)

A whopper of a puzzle piece falls smack into place. A crime syndicate; conspiracy within the Royal Court, and a motive behind it all. Put 2 and 2 together.

But, I wonder: When, oh when will Damas do it? Make the journey from boy to man and become the complete, wise leader we know him to be?

this story is really good! I love it! Please, update soon!

Yay! Another chappy! I'm glad u decided to continue this one. If it was me, i'm sure i would've given up by now. lol, then again, i'm not the talented writer you are. I'm still serious about you being an author eventually, hun!

Dun Dun Dun! Darn, poor Damos ratted himself out sorta. Hooray for a new chappy! Keep going! Plz! Pretty plz!

Whoa...Way to set up a chapter! Making the whole story sound peaceful, only to spring a twist that leaves the reader shocked, not to mention confused and worried. The again, aren't all plot twists like that? (Laughs) I agree with Oran: Damas should take up racing. It would be nice for him to earn a prize by doing something he's good at. Wonder what his father would think if he saw his own son coming home with a trophy from his latest racing match...Probably blow a fit, along with his wife! (Snickers) Too bad all the races are rigged...Yet again something good and pure is turned into a maney-making scam for scum! The nerve of them...(Growls) The chat between Jaida and Damas was entertaining. Unfortunately it was ruined by the rain...Don't you just hate the weather? (Shakes head) At first I thought Damas was being searched for, but it ended up being much worse. Maddux must be confused right now, besides being woried about the situation at hand. Hopefully King Theron will be alright...Though from the looks of it, he certainly isn't. Guess it must stink being the ruler of Haven now, eh? Ah, well, it's all part of the job. Update soon, okay? You are an extremely good writer!

I am impressed to say the very least. I was wondering who would be the one to make a successful Damas' backstory, and look; here it is, better than I had expected. I love how you picture Damas as being so innocent, compared to the battle scarred veteran, warrior King he grows up to be.

I very eagerly look forward to this story's next chapter.

Sir Nicholas.

Hm...An intriguing chapter. I like it very much. So casual, not to mention peaceful...Makes me wonder how dramatic an action story/chapter written by you would be, no offense. (Laughs) I was suprised Theron didn't appear during breakfast. Then again, he is sick, so he should get some rest. Some of my own family members are ill too and have taken a habit of sleeping in until noon, heh heh heh. Ah, well...Damas's choice to go to the racing stadium was a bit unexpected: He seems too...educated for that, excuse my saying. How ironic...To most people, Damas seems like a humble, determined man, intent on protecting his city. You'd think they would only portray him in the Palace or in the Bazaar doing errands, eh? But you display him as an obediently rebellious teenager who wishes to go outside the walls of royalty and explore the village! Quite a contrast, eh? Lamar seems like a decent guy, calm and collected. Praxis's arrival was unexpected but his personality was perfect and led the chapter into the rookie racing ring. I'm suprised Damas can race. Perhaps that's where Jak got his racing abilities from, eh? The track sounds simple, but intersting. I wish I could try it: Sounds much more exciting than regular racing! The ending was great. Loved the twist. Now you're making the waitress sound even more mysterious. Exactly who is she? Anyways, wonderful story so far! Keep up the good work, okay? You are a talented writer!

Oh thank god! Finally! I'm just kiddin', tho I am gald you decided to keep going with this one. Hope ur mama gets better soon, and we're missin you bunches here! Bye!

Hooray, update! Don't feel bad about it though - I hope your Mum gets better. Again, I like your pace, and your OCs - Lamar especially. Seems like a very nice guy! And now we know where Jak go his racing talent from... But I really wanna know Mystery-Girl's name! Hope you update soon so we can find out!

You are very welcome for the previous review. I admire your writing talent, you are an extremely talented author. I enjoyed reading this chapter very much. There was so much description in it... I can actually envision the bar! (Laughs) The bar name sounded very close to the one in Jak 2:Renegade (Hip Hog) Did you get your inspiration from that? Or did you simply make the title up? I can't imagine Damas being in a bar... he sounds too well-behaved a child for that! Yet, there he was, being bullied by Praxis. I WAS a bit suprised when you revealed that he was the one in the police uniform. So young and already he is interested in serving for his country, heh! Well, thats Praxis for ya... always into the military... (Sighs) Its a bit ironic. The fact that Praxis and Damas met in a bar and have already become adversaries was a bit amusing. And their only teenagers, for Mar's sake! (Chuckles) Anyways, wonderful chapter! Please update soon! I really want to know what is happening next!

^.^
so far so good... i had been thinking about reading this for a long time

u know u love me
Paradise Eco

Again, I really like it! Your spelling and grammar are great, and you're going at a nice pace - not rushing things, but not ranting on and on either. And I really like the young Praxis, you've done a great job of showing his arrogance and all-round nastiness. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I know who the girl in the bar is... we'll see. I look forward to the next chapter!

This is an interesting beginning for a series, with a peaceful atmosphere and an amusing yet curious ending. Damas as a child doesn't seem to be a hard-headed teen, but a willing son with questions and a sense of puzzling adventure. Quite a change from his older self, eh?

Your OCs sound intrigueing, especially Damas's father. Not really a decent role model, isn't he, always running around trying to keep the city safe and his duties fufilled. Oh well, such is the life of a king...

I wasn't suprised when Damas decided to sneak out and see the city. I guess a lot of ruler's kids do that. Must be tiring to be cooped up in a palace all day long... I almost feel sorry for him!

Anyways, great story! Please continue this! I'll be keeping an eye out for the second chapter!

I like it! Do continue :)