your right throwinf=g yourself into non-padded walls hurts

Hmm...where to begin here.

Well, for starters, I liked the premise of this story. There are a few Ranma 1/2 // MKR crossovers out there already, but there's definetly room for more. However, somewhere along the line you took a good idea, and mucked it up.

To more concise..I didn't find any outstanding problems with your diction, grammar, or spelling. However, the addition of little "author to reader" notes between every other line "sunk your battleship," you could say.

You might want to think about leaving that kind of in-story commentary out of your stories in the future, or *atleast* to a minimum as much as possible. It's called breaking the fourth wall. As much fun as it is to slip in random thoughts and jokes in-between dialogue and narrative, it tends to interrupt the flow of the story and detract from the reader's ability to immerse themselves in your story.

So, essentially, you have a good story in the making here, with a nice foundation of grammar and spelling, along with plot and dialogue. The only things I would recommend you work on is your consistency of style.

Aside from that, some of the inner dialogue and musings of the characters tends to get a little wordy and dry. Especially after reading a good sized paragraph on what kind of mallet to use, etc.

Hope this helps.

Would be a better story if you weren't trying so hard to make it into the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

::roflmao:: What WERE you smoking, drinking, sniffing? This is great!

[x] add to favorite stories list

loved the story. btw, i like to bounce off the walls of my 'happy place' on a regular basis ^_^

Great story.

I laugh many times over.

This looks like a stand alone one shot story

If you by chance elaborate it and create more chapters, please do so and post as soon as possible.