oh god, i hurt myself laughing! well, trying to not laugh cuz its almost 11 pm and my parents room in next door, but that was awesome. great story too!

I must say I find this one of the better and more believable fics that could be used as canon, It has it all, a little bit of humor here and there, action, suspense, the correct build for romance, thanks for one of the better Pokemon Fics.

Didn't understand that explanation at the end...Umbreon's a Dark type and a capturable (if unknown at the time) Pokemon. Last time I checked, Dark types take damage from everything except Psychic types, unless Pikachu learned how to channel some ESP into his Thunderbolt. Even then, it doesn't explain the Pokeball going right through it. Maybe it was using after-images of itself (Double Team) to confuse Ash and the gang into thinking it was real? That would somewhat explain the new predicaments they're facing if the Pokemon are also smarter as well as ridiculously unfiltered in power.

This should've been the plot of a Pokemon movie.

I've just finished reading your fic and I must say it's amazing! You should really become a pro! Most of all, your commitment to keep each paragraph worth reading. Let us know when you write a book or something! Thank you for sharing your talent :)

I loved this story... AHHH I wish I could write like this! You make my story look like an infant and in such a good way.
Every thing was just so well done!
I thought I had a complaint but honestly it was just epic. Plan and simple.
Plus I loved the ending ;)
Just thank you for writing it... even if it was forever ago!

Interesting idea, I’ll give you that.

The timing was a bit questionable regarding how Ash, Misty and Brock ended up travelling together again- it might have been more plausible if it was set after they arrived back in Pallet Town after completing the Orange League and decided to take a few days visiting home before Ash set off for Johto-, but the concept seemed interesting, and in general the plot is definitely interesting.

Age-wise, I would have maybe just made Ash twelve or thirteen rather than the fifteen you made him here- I think it would be more plausible for him to assume that the threat they face is Team Rocket and therefore nothing that they can’t handle if younger and therefore relatively more ‘simplistic’ in his outlook-, but his initial reluctance to get involved in further talk of prophecies after his last struggle makes sense, even if moments like Misty’s ‘accident’ make it clear that there’s more going on than a straightforward attack even before we witness the perpetrator during her assault on the Cerulean Gym.

On the topic of the villain’s attack, you definitely earn points for creating such a dangerous enemy; not only does Lucinda have a twisted and chilling personal history, but she even makes an intimidating physical presence despite her age, lacking any kind of moral code that we’d recognise and focused on nothing more than her own power and authority to the point where she’s sacrificed anything that would make that achievement worthwhile.

Plus, of course, even if I question Ash’s maturity at times given the age you’ve made him (Although his difficulty in accepting Samuel’s tale about their current adversary no matter how much he wants to help tackle the current threat made sense), I agree with the way you’ve explored his status as a ‘regular’ trainer by making it clear that his training philosophy just makes him Lucinda’s moral superior without making him her superior in a battle situation, to the point where even the gym leaders have trouble against her in a straight fight and Ash is only able to win thanks to a few unorthodox tactics.

Still, in the end, it’s the confrontation between Ash and Lucinda at the top of her island where he recognises and rejects the similarities between them as where this story really shines; he might resent having to be the one responsible for saving everyone at times, but he won’t reject that responsibility because his goal means nothing without others there with him.

Plus, of course, the circumstances of Lucinda’s final defeat were surprisingly effective; even if Ash himself doesn’t deliver the blow, it’s good to see Pikachu play an important role in the crisis beyond just shocking everything (Maybe any Pokemon could have done that, but I like to think that Pikachu’s close bond with Ash played another part in activating the weapon).

All in all, apart from a few questions about when you chose to set this story, you definitely had an interesting plot when a chilling foe that led into a very satisfactory conclusion; keep up the good work!

Hi there!

Really enjoyed the fictions. Great read! Best Pokemon fanfiction I've read in a really long time! Loved it!

Hi there!

Really enjoyed the fictions. Great read! Best Pokemon fanfiction I've read in a really long time! Loved it!

I'm a few years late, but I just finished reading this from cover to cover. You did a fabulous job with this story! I greatly appreciated your careful avoidance of any paper-thin plot and instead focused on gorgeous imagery and descriptions, well-written action, and (most importantly) an emphasis on Ash and his relationship with the people around him, something desperately missing from the actual show nowadays. Thank you so much for writing; this definitely counts as one of the better novels I've seen on !

Beautiful story! So much suspense, action and sweet AAML moments. ** Amazing job!

OH MY GOSH BROCK SAVED THE DAY AND NOW EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND THE SUN IS OUT AND OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

You go, Brock. I am proud of you for being a hero. And Pikachu, I am proud of you for finally touching the weapon and helping to save the day. You get a pat on the back too. I hope this means Lucinda is gone for good now, and doesn't randomly come back to life in a hundred years so a trio of teenagers can try to kill her again.

And when Ash started to give up I was freaking out. One, because I thought he was a better swimmer than that, and two, because Ash is not a give-up sort of person. I was expecting him to keep kicking until a Gyrados came along and ate him.

Thank goodness for Gary. I'm glad that he made it out okay, and ever happier that he told Tracey to go out there. Because if Ash actually drowned, I would not be very happy.

And Misty's alive! I'm glad she started coughing up water after she got on the boat so we didn't have to see Ash and Tracey try and give her CPR. I am just so happy she is alive.

Oh, and I liked that little comparison Ash made when he thought about how Misty fished him out of the river and saved him after he fell off of Lugia's back. She does seem to save him from drowning alot, doesn't she?

And now the sun is out. I'm just hoping that Brock is okay up there on the cliff. If so, then it will be a nice happy ending.

I completely understood, throughout the entire chapter, Ash's heavy sense of responsibility that he didn't ask for. His exhaustion at this whole ordeal felt so real and pressing, and I can't help feeling extremely sorry for Ash again. (And I feel extremely wishy-washy for not making up my mind on whether or not I pity Ash.) He didn't sign up for this Chosen One job, but now the fate of the world almost always seems to rest on his shoulders, while everyone else's lives go on like normal. It just feels like such an intense pressure to be put under. I can't even imagine how awful a feeling that would be. I would never be able to be a normal, happy kid. I'd have a panic attack every other minute, thinking about what trial I'll be put through next to keep the world in one piece.

And just the fact that Lucinda was so convincing, just like with Misty, when she led her to the cliff. Her words seemed so true, she was making such good points on the injustice of being Ash. And then when Ash said that it was almost like seeing through a fog, trying to figure out if Brock or Lucinda was right, I realized it was a trap, and she was doing her little psychic thing again. Good thing her selfishness snapped Ash out of it.

And dang, Lucinda ages fast. Maybe landing the direct hit on Umbreon sped up her aging a bit, because she went from being like thirty to around seventy in like less than an hour's time. Juat thought that seemed really fast.

And then she just goes and chucks Misty over the side of the cliff. See, this is almost the same thing I was talking about earlier, with Charizard and the rain. He sees Misty get chucked over the side, then charges at Lucinda and has a nice little chat with her, and then jumps to go save Misty. Misty was already unconcious when she was thrown over. Because he stopped to have that tiny conversation, Misty very well might have already drowned. Timing is impeccable when it comes to these sorts of situations, and Ash could already be too late.

And I was with Pikachu when Ash ran at Lucinda with the cylinder. My head startd reeling, because last time I had checked, Brock was the one holding the real weapon. It's a good thing Ash knew it was the souvenir, and not the real thing.

But now I am a tad confused. Since Ash is going after Misty right now, and he left the weapon with Brock, does he just expect Brock to kill her? What is everyone on the cliff going to do while he's getting Misty? I guess I'll find out...

So, I'll say right now that the crafty plan I was referring to earlier was not challenging her to yet another battle. Sometimes Ash just needs to take the hint that her Pokemon are way stronger than his.

Misty on the other hand, very crafty by using Squirtle all sneakily to land a hit. That, I was impressed with.

I hated that Blaine knew that his Magmar was being controlled by Lucinda, so the first thing he does is rush at it. If it didn't jump up when it saw you, and it's being wielded by an evil demon lady, one can assume that she's done something to it. I'm actually surprised that Blaine didn't get more hurt from that direct hit from the Flamethrower.

And when Erika was being choked by Weepinbell, I was surprised that someone didn't just attack the vines to begin with. The was the first thing I thought of, for Charizard to use Flamethrower on Weepinbell and on the taut vines connecting Erika and Weepinbell. I thought me and Ash were on the same wavelength, but then Misty stopped him from scorching Erika, and I realized we weren't thinking the same thing, exactly. But still, I think that one of the people trying to release Erika's throat from the vines would have thought to attack Weepinbell or the vines. I don't think they would have reacted so slowly...

Okay, I'll admit it, the whole sacrificing himself to help Pikachu land a hit on Umbreon plan wasn't that bad. It was pretty clever, for Ash, at least. I'm just glad she didn't just behead Ash right there and then.

And now Misty and Lucinda are both missing. So obviously KO-ing Umbreon doesn't kill her. And she most likely took Misty with her. Probably just as punishment for Ash, for attacking her. Because she knows that Ash likes Misty, and Misty is a gym leader. So she's probably going to be killed unless Ash does something fast.

Hurry, Ash!

So, are we going to get some backstory behind Ash's stoney goodbye to Misty? Snatching the weapon almost like he was mad at her? I mean, considering how they've both been thinking mushy thoughts about eachother this entire story, and the fact that it might be the last time they see each other, one would assume that their goodbyes would be a little bit more heartfelt, you know? Just struck me as odd.

And I am so glad that everyone didn't drown. Totally expected at least one, if not more, to drown. So I am happy they all made it out, considering how long they were treading water.

Speaking of which, this quote made me want to kill Ash. "Ash, too, slumped exhausted against the side of the Magikarp, his arms aching from the effort of pulling body after body up from the waters." EXCUSE ME, but every living gym leader in Kanto just spent the last 15 minutes treading water in the middle of a storm, and he has the audacity to think himself tired? And the fact that Borck stayed to help him pull people up. Brock had been out there struggling to stay above water, then climbed up onto the Magikarp to help other people out of the water. But Ash is exhausted because his arms are sore. Cry me a freaking river, Ash.

Okay, sorry. That sentence just made me upset. I'm done.

"Now I'll never become a Pokemon Master!" "James, you never wanted to be a Pokemon master." Best line in the chapter. I cracked up.

And now I am just hoping that all of this bravado coming from Ash won't backfire. I know he wants to face Lucinda like a man, but at the same time, he's not the one being targeted. And they are definitely outclassed when it comes to battling. So, hear's hoping someone comes up with a crafty plan!