- His hands were knotted and claw-like as if they had broken again and again until they did not even resemble human appendages.
I like this idea of Yevon de-humanising/deforming anyone that could challenge its power - perhaps even more sinister than an execution.

- The crowd stepped away from the fallen man as one, leaving him alone in a ring of emptiness.
Perfect, again. Also touched upon when you wrote about the "safety in numbers" - demonstrating the fear of anything different instilled into the followers of Yevon.

- The sculpture of High Summoner Isaaru was resplendent in polished bronze, every intricate detail visible.
I love the way you've written about this - it really echoes the emptiness that Yevon hides behind finely-sculpted statues and enormous temples.

- “Am I dead?” he said aloud and wondered at his own voice. He had not heard it since he was a child and the priests had bound him, advancing upon him with their knives…
A really chilling and powerful portrayal of the brutality of Yevon's deception, and the way Pacce is recalling the identity that they suppressed in deforming him.

Minor gripe:
- “Please, brother, don’t send me back,” said the dark haired young man, “I don’t want to be alone there anymore.”
Personal thing - epithets mess me up. The fact that Pacce is dark-haired and young seems a bit of an unnecessry inclusion in the middle of an otherwise very powerful bit of dialogue.

This is a brilliantly constructed piece that captivated me from the beginning. You used some excellent description and imagery, and you've certainly nailed the "hook the reader in the opening sentence" tactic! I couldn't turn away from such a gorgeous yet intriguing line.

I'm seeing Yevon's insidious presence all over this piece - from the happiness and laughter of the children of the "Eternal"/False Calm to the priests' knifey antics. It's harrowing, but so true to the story - a glance at Yevon that the game couldn't pull off given its rating. Bravo! Hope to see you back in the fandom again soon. :)

"...that seared threw his eyelids..." - "through"

Splendid! You caught me by surprise and yet it was all so very inevitable. Your description of the transformation of Maroda into Sin was beautifully done and the picture of the tortured Pacce in the hands of the church re-awakened some of my memories from reading of the Nazis and their deeds. Painful but accurate. This is a little jewel and I welome you back home to the FF fandom.

Interesting, original, and quite well-written. I like it. :)

All I can think about is how -intense- that was. The imagery was astounding... --"The sun set in fierce reds and golds" was one of my favorite lines. Beautiful set-up for the rest of it. And then the description of Maroda becoming Sin, and what the intricate detail of what happened to Pacce once Yevon found him... just completely amazing. I can't think of any other adjectives to describe this piece.

There was, however, one line that seemed a little odd to me... "his brother’s chest but it cold and unyielding it was." I think there may be too many "it"s, but it didn't seem to read as smoothly to me as the others.