Perhaps Koushirou is a little OOC, but then again he has been struck with cancer, so with that in mind he isn't really. It's not too presumptuous, which I like, and really just quite subtle. Good! =]

I liked that it was really good, and kinda bittersweet.

I've heard about the legend of the paper cranes too. Someone took the pains and made 3 paper cranes for me a few years back, for my birthday. I think that was very, very sweet of her. Reading this, I can relate.

And another person I know was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. But she have fought it, and now looked better. It wasn't anything terminal and she still have to do some follow-ups.

Those two reasons made me enjoy the story a lot.

Good job!

P/S: While reading this, I was listening to the song "Until You" by Dave Barnes. Some of the lyrics seem somewhat fitting.

Aw, it was SO cute! I really like your writing style! I thought you set the mood so well, like I could perfectly picture a crisp fall day, and it just seemed so calm. I loved it, and the paper crane thing was just so cute!

I look forward to reading more of your work!