An excellent conclusion!

Nice twist with Hank. He does grow a conscience but not much of one. Interesting way to get him back in step with the canon Perkins, who’d of thought Kim would have introduced him to Drakken?

I was wondering when the fact that Ron actually took Dementor’s device was going to come up—nice timing. And, of course, Reuben couldn’t resist putting his own flesh-and-blood behind bars. Which, of course, leads up to what has to be one of most original first dates in KP fanfiction. I never had the guts to write a K/R first date story and that is a good thing because I never could have come up with an idea half as unique. Its distinctiveness aside, it doesn’t slouch in the romantic department, either.

“The two teens danced around the visiting room to the sound of Ron’s humming.”

I think the above short description conveys all that needs to be expressed.

Reuben’s comeuppance was wryly devised and executed. Who better to ultimately be responsible for his “eliminating his map” than himself?

And although some might have expected you to end the story with Kim and Ron, I think your choice for a closer was inspired and appropriate. Your development of Tiny into a full-fledged character (an OC that I wouldn’t mind seeing in future stories) was one of the highlights of the tale. It demonstrates that placing Kim in jail was not just an interesting idea that might have been good for a gag or two—it helps show that it was the germ for a great story.

And, of course, Tiny gives one of the best props for the K/R relationship I’ve read:

Kim laughed. “Thanks for helping me realize it. If it weren’t for you …”
“It would have been something else,” Tiny said.

Finally, I’ll close this review with two of my favorite Ronnisms (in this or any other story):

“While I may not have the Possible family gray matter or that of Rufus,” Ron observed, “I’m thinking that the phone passing thing is not good.”
“Man, I love this place,” a goofily grinning Ron said after Kim had finished kissing him.

Okay, really, really, REALLY enjoyed this chapter. You were definitely in the KP zone when you sat down to write this!

Loved the little “show-worthy” touches throughout. Kim and Shego trading banter about Dr.D while the blue-skinned one is tying up the former under the latter’s orders. Ron and Dementor conversing while both being held upside down. Panda Kung Fu. And on and on.

Very interested to see how Hank figures into the conclusion. As I’ve mentioned before, you have done a lot of character-expansion on this tertiary figure from 1 and ½ episodes. Have you actually gone and given him a conscience?

My one quibble, and it is a small one, is that it might have been a good idea to hint at Judge Mint’s service record in a previous chapter—nothing detailed, but just so the reader knows it is there. Not that I don’t like things like this being sprung on me, but if I had a slight hint earlier, I think I would have enjoyed it all the more.

Finally, my favorite part was this exchange:

“Do not call my boyfriend a buffoon!” Kim snapped.
“Whoa,” a surprised Shego said. “You and the doofus are an item? When did this happen?”
“He is not a doofus,” Kim replied angrily. “And the BF/GF thing is new. Now let Ron go!”
“No, do not let me go!” Ron, who had been listening to the entire exchange from outside the cab, cried as he envisioned falling, head first, to the courtroom floor below.
“Sorry, my bad,” Kim called out sheepishly before she resumed glaring at Shego. “Bring Ron back in here right now!”

We get a BF/GF reveal that shocks Shego and a some of that KP convention-busting goodness that made the show so special in the first place.

Again, eagerly anticipating what is coming next.

A prison break, an irate judge, and Dementor being shaken “like a maraca.” Very exciting chapter!

Despite all the reigning chaos, all the voices remained pitch-perfect—especially, the original characters.

Really liked the development with Tiny—especially when she gave Kim as the reason why she didn’t make the prison break. Very interested to see any teen hero back story you might have for Kim’s friend “on the inside.”

Ron's demeanor throughout was thoroughly entertaining. Even with a Wade-level-IQ, why wouldn’t he bring comics and an old bag of Bueno Nacho to court?

Really enjoyed this exchange:
“Sorry, but I’ve given up defeat at your hands for Lent,” Drakken countered.
“Dude, how can you be religious and still be a villain?” Ron asked.
Kim rubbed her temples. “He’s trying to be clever, Ron.”
Ron looked at Drakken. “Really?”

And, of course, my favorite part was Reuben getting clocked by Dementor’s helmet. If only a portion of the courtroom had cheered when it happened.

To attest to your literary powers, specifically as they concern the presentation of Reuben as reptilian cretin, I submit that I was unable to read his opening statement a second time in full.

I kinda expected the Ron-the-legal-wunderkind sitch wouldn’t play out as planned. However, I was hoping to at least see what he had in store first (especially, when it came to the giant glow worms).

However, as disappointed as I was to see Ron’s case disrupted by crummy tummy cramps, the sight of Kim saving Reuben’s life did more than enough to erase that pain. One of the most satisfying scenes so far in this story.

Having Dementor showed up, at least momentarily, by Drakken was pretty sweet, too!

Have no idea where this is going—which is also pretty cool.

Although you did a good job of presenting the KP villains in this chapter, I feel you really succeeded in your characterization of the OC villain – Cousin Reuben. Case in point: I was so totally loathing him in section IV, that it wasn’t until I after a reread the story that I realized that he didn’t have a word of dialog in that scene.

But back to the super villains by name, your ability to channel Dementor and Drakken is perfectly displayed in these two quotes:
“MYRON! Your mouth is flapping but I am not HEARING!”
“Well, let’s see how he feels when the Doctor harshes his mellow.”

In an earlier review I mentioned how even hard-edged professionals in the criminal system reflect a certain KP charm in this story. An example I found in this chapter was when the bailiff becomes bemused at KP and Ron’s pre-trial chat.

“Kim, wearing a simple blue dress, stepped through the door accompanied by Ron, who wore a three-piece suit and, in a sign of how seriously he took this situation, real shoes.”

Two telling things about the sentence. One, it appears that Ron the legal wunderkind has given his BFGF the tried-and-true advice of wearing something blue to court. Two, nothing expresses commitment from a pink sloth like a pair of real shoes. : )

As for Reuben at the chapter’s close – I almost feel sorry for him. If he only knew the caliber of people who had faced (and will face) his cousin’s “serious face” and met total devastation, he would be hiding under his desk right now.

Nicely choreographed fight between Tiny and Shego. Speaking as someone who hates writing fight scenes, you definitely have my admiration.

Especially liked this part: ‘’Oh snap,’ she muttered as the larger woman landed on her.”

Nice foreshadowing stroke for the sumo ninjas that KP and Ron will face in So the Drama (or will they since this is an AU?).
Is the sardonic delivery man the same that Kim met in “A Very Possible Christmas”?

Let me say a few words with how you are presenting life on the “inside.” It is highly unlikely that the guards and prisoners in a real prison would warm so quickly to someone who is os new to prison life. The guards--because, well, part of their jobs is not to be trusting of the prisoners. The prisoners—because of Kim’s long history of putting those who break the law behind bars. However, this isn’t a real prison—it is a KP world prison. So, in effect, the fact that Kim is becoming very popular on the “inside” for the same reason she was popular in high school life (enjoys helping others) makes perfect sense.

It is also a welcomed relief when you consider she has both super villains and lawyers allied against her.

Very enjoyable dialog between Drakken and his henchmen. On the first read it seemed to run a little long, but I think I was just running through it quickly to get back to KP and Ron because the second time it seemed the right length. I googled “punk rock Heidi Hummler” just to make certain that was not real. One can never be too careful these days.

The final section is certainly the most unusual KP-confesses-her-like-liking-for-Ron scene I can remember. Two things impressed me about this scene. One, Kim didn’t lose the sharp edge to her Kimness (whether before or after her confession). Many writers, myself included, tend to make Kim too sweet whenever she is feeling Ronmantic. Sweetness is, of course, a good thing, but she shouldn’t sacrifice all her spice—that’s part of what makes her Kim. Second, the fact that they cannot physically touch also added something to the scene. The moment when they pressed their hands against the glass was small but potent.

Another chapter from an AU world that remarkable resembles the canon world of KP.

In addition to being amusing, section one makes a formidable point against the plausibility of a less-popular slash pairing: Kim/DNAmy. Although the two share a common ground in CuddleBuddies, their personalities so don’t mix.

I found Jack Hench’s economic theory (“the very positive impact Kim Possible’s long-term incarceration would have on the bottom line”) an interesting one. Someone could argue the opposite it true. Without a formidable adversary many super villains might realize that they don’t need quite so many henchmen.

Hank’s section was also done well. Nice touch with Fleeshum’s secretary being “unimpressed.”

“Sir, if it will get me a better review, I’ll even climb over your still-warm body.” So typically Perkins.

[How often can you say such a thing about a two-episode character (or, actually, one and a half episodes because of “Sick Day”) with any degree of certainty?]

I liked how Fleeshum was sympathetic with Kim’s plight – he only took Hank off the case after being reassured that Ron would be a competent lawyer. Or am I misreading his motives?

Shego and Kim’s exchange was likewise very in character. I also like how Tiny came to KP’s defense (nice how that was foreshadowed by Amy’s comments in section I).

The heart of the chapter, however, came in the last section as Ron pushed aside his ill feelings to refocus on his best friend’s plight. Glad to see Rufus playing a pivotal role.

Another great story! I really I liked this one. Entertaining, Funny, and cute in spots. I loved the parts with DNAmy and Kim discussing their cuddle buddies in their cell and the contraband flamingoat…so cute! As for Tara, I felt bad for her, but she was right, Kim had the top spot in Ron’s heart so it was better for her to get out early, it’s not as messy that way!

I thought that Tiny was a likable character, it takes a special person to get an apology out of Shego. I was glad to see good things happen for her at the end.

Also, Ruben totally got what was coming to him! He was more concerned about himself than what was right, so it was the right decision to get rid of him, even if it helped the DA’s re-election.

Ok, well I’ll let you go. Nice job with this!! A+

Ron, Ron, Ron...why would you say that. You are what you is alright. And Tiny was a good twist at the end. Glad things work out at the end.

YAY!11eleven!

Ahem. Sorry, got carried away again. This is an awesome story though, and extra special points for finishing it. (Yes, I know you almost always do, but most people don't (myself included) so it's a great thing regardless). Harry Mint and Nero were particular favourites by the way. And Reuben getting outmaneuvered was a beautiful thing too.

Your fan as ever,

Jillie

A great finish! Gotta love Ron putting his mouth in way of his clumsy feet. Judge Mint was, again, great and I loved the TV panel bit. Until next time!

Kimmie plus GWA moves is da bomb!

A rollicking finale to an enjoyable romp of a story. I'd like to see more from Myron Meanor in the future. A great character.

Thanks for a great read.

Great ending!

Sacking Ruben was clearly the right thing to do too (if only someone had realized this earlier, but then of course the story would have been shorter...)


I've really enjoyed reading the story, thanks!

I will admit, this was sure wrapped tight and tied loose. Yea, yea, I heard it on a Beverly Hillbillies this week.

Great story, glad you were able to finish it and finish it in grand style. But I do have to admit, I was just about to walk out of the picture with Judge Mint Day. No, actually I love bad puns, unfortunately that was horrible.

Again thanks for all you do here, I can't remember if you have a few nominations in the Fannies, if so, good luck.

Finally, can't wait for you next story, whenever you can get it out.

Thanks

Judge Mint Day? That’s just wrong on so many levels!

Poor Ron as ever, he is able to snatch defeat from the mouth of victory. Two weeks of Barkin homework and the oddest Spring Fling dance in the history of education offset by the best, bon-diggity girlfriend in the world. Maybe he didn’t too badly after all.

Well it was worth the wait but Ruben finally got his. And hoisted on his own petard to boot!

Keep the faith Tiny! And thanks Mr.Dr.P. for another gem of yours,