It was excellent...until this chapter. I don't like re-reading what I already read. Using the same words of the sex scene in chapter 3 isn't exciting! Next time try and create something new! Throwing in the strawberry lube does NOT make it much different.

But either then that it was a fantastic story! Great job!

"I'm not your pet!"

The best line. Hahahahaha!

Final chapter, huh?
Well, I agree with you completely when you said that it ended too soon. It was too abrupt for one thing, but it did manage to keep us using our imaginations, so that was good.
It was a successful fanfic, it lasted, but had its issues. Praise first:
For one things, it was a very interesting story and a lovely unique occurence to find Neko on top. That was enjoyable. Your characters, even though they weren't explored thoroughly, were believable and interesting to listen to.
Your pace quickened near the end, but remained steadfast and continuous which was good.
Now for Crit: For one thing, it was riddled with errors in grammar and spelling. These were/are easy to fix. Was it a hot off the press thing?
Another large thing seemed to be that you lost the story's soul around the 5th chapter and this one altogether dismisses it. It swung a little too far out of its comfort zone for my tastes.
The plot itself did not seem to know where it was going. It had a general direction, but I don't think it was approached as well as it could have been.
The dialogue was lacking slightly and the pace did speed up.
The most important thing to address, in my opinion, is the lemon/lemons. In every story, the writer risks losing a very important kind of aura to their story if they write a lemon. Unless it is written very, VERY well and fits and perfectly with the story, AND is basically needed, then lemons do not seem to work well in fics.
You lost some of your story with the first lemon, but it recovered until it went into a mood swing. The second lemon didn't make much sense other than it being make up sex. I don't think that it was really needed outside of fanservice.
Overall, it was a good fic, but it needs some work for perfection. Good fic though.
Acerbus Equinomin

This is wonderful. I am enjoying this story very much and I am glad to see that there are finally other people that are interested in the various forms of magic.
Where did you learn them or their definitions?
I am so happy to finally find a story with Nekozawa as Seme, hooray!
As I said before, there were errors, but they are easy to fix.
I am waiting for more.
Acerbus Equinomin

This is very fun to read. I love most any pairing with Nekozawa, so that's a huge plus. This is a cute and interesting story at the same time.
There are errors, but they are easy to find and even easier to fix, so I don't worry about stressing anything like that too much.
Now I go to the next chapter.
^_^ I'm enjoying it.
Acerbus

Awesome fic! NekoTama is LOVE. I'd love to see you update soon!

~OB100

interesting, very interesting.

i'm confused now and it's not the first time either...i like the ending of this chapter though! and yes, i am a pathetic soul.

...so...cy-cy- SO CYUTE! KYA! *fangirly squeel* Nekotama-for ever!

E. LOVE IT! :D

Interesting story. Can't wait to see what happens next. ^^

Hey Aya,
Well done I love the premise of the story.
Your writting flowed well and the characters were just so ..right. The way you portrayed the characters is very realistic and when the characters did out of the ordinary stuff you really made it believable. You've got me hooked on this story! :D
I think your writting has great potential and would be easier to read if is the spelling and gramatical errors were corrected but other wise the story flows well.
I really like it and would love to read more.
If you dont have a beta I would be willing to beta your stories for you. Hit me back on my email if you want me to,

Thanks for putting a great story out there,
Rachael

it waas good! Your sex scenes are getting better. you have way less spelling tense and grammar error. n.n

Update please! Personally, I see Neko-uke... (Can't really tell why yet... ^^;) but if not, I don't regret reading! Hope the next chapter's out there soon! :D

i wonder which was the dream chapter 2 or 3. you really need to work on your spelling. please update soon.