Reviews for Mad Match - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Mad Match

junkfoodmonkey 2007-12-11 ch 2,	abuseI'm afraid this story doesn't really make any sense so far. The team take Almelia on as a client on very flimsy grounds. Eric Vaster is doing "some illegal things". I think the team would want a few more specific details and then do a check to confirm what she told them. There's no way Almelia could be committed to a VA hospital in the US. And how does she have the authority to get the doctors at the VA fired? If she did have that much authority over people in a foreign country I don't think she'd need the help of the A-Team. And having that much power doesn't fit with being blackmailed and nobody believing her about her brother. And what is Vaster blackmailing her with anyway? I know some of the VA scams on the show were very, very silly and unlikely, but you don't even have Face show a fake ID. And why would he be taking Murdock to an intitution in Canada? For that matter why is Almelia usually at an institution in Ireland, when she's British? And if the team find out she is "usually" in a mental hospital wouldn't they be a bit skeptical about everything she's told them so far? I know the story is labelled humour, but it still needs to have some kind of logic to it, or the reader will be too busy trying to figure out what is going on and won't know the humour from the mistakes. Not sure if you've seen it, but the episode Bullets and Bikinis shows BA is the one nervous of the dentist and Face tells him "dentists are our friends", so Face isn't apparently scared of the dentist. With that smile does he look as if he's scared of the dentist? ;-) You haven't actually made it clear, but are they heading to the UK? If so, I like the sound of that, but I think you need to sort out some issues of logic to make the story actually hang together.
IndeMaat 2007-12-10 ch 2,	abuseHypnoses can make people do things that they wouldn't normally do, but you can't make them do things they really don't want to do. The Team should be careful about pushing BA around like that. I have a few other comments to. The relate to Almelia being committed to the same mental institution as Murdock. Murdock is in a VA: Veterans Administration. A hospital especially for veterans. He is a veteran of the Vietnam War. Almelia would have to be a veteran too to be admitted there. I'm not sure on the authority a person would need in the US to have another person committed against that persons wishes. I would think it has to be a person with great authority like a judge or a mayor. What I do know is that when you have been committed on someone else's authority you can't discharge yourself. That person, or another, with the authority would have to give the okay for it. Almelia would thus not be able to get herself discharged by threatening everyone she would have them fired. The doctors and nurses would think her insane and probably just give her a sedative. In other words: it would be better for the realism of this story if Murdock and Almelia had not met under the circumstances depicted. They could have met under different circumstances, but not under the condition that Almelia was an unwilling in-patient.
IndeMaat 2007-12-09 ch 1,	abuseIf you want to make the A-Team proud you may want to start with spelling everyone's names correctly. It's Tawnia, not Tanya, and BA Baracus. For easier reading it would help if you used some kind of visual marker to indicate a switch of scene. Use a horizontal line or something two different scenes. Do not use * because Ffnet deletes those from stories. I think it's a bit dodgy to stick a reporter behind her desk for a month. That's probably how Jayson Blair worked (he lost his job for making up stories). A proper reporter investigates stories. A proper editor knows that. And two remarks about royalty: royalty isn't necessarily rich; and a baroness is nobility not royalty.
angel002 2007-12-08 ch 1,	abusehi!! really liked the first chapter! love Murdock:) but it's a little hard too see when you change places like from Murdock to Tanya. Please update!

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