A great poem fic. Very good.

Beautiful. Truly beautiful. I don't feel many writers like or appreciate poetry on this site, but I thought it was great.

I loved how the words like 'gone,' 'yearning' and 'still' stand alone, only making the loss more prevalent. You have me all inspired, I think I'll go and write some poetry.

I also like the subtle rhyme. It's not too obvious, but certain parts flow very well with it and I wonder if that was your intention? Things like 'a flash of red (...) I was fed' really speed up the pace during the 'higher tension' moments of the poem, but then the slight 'off rhyme' slows it down, creating a sense of desperation.

I applaud a job very well done and I'm adding you to my favorites. I hope you'll write more soon.

Jodie x

hey that was pretty good keep it up!!