To ~Escaped~:

I believe Luis is in the subway, doing those awesome things he does. I remember not really focusing on the "Valiant" side of things, and I hadn't even attempted to write anything for "Ironside", so this is tucked safely in the gap between them. Corny, in this case, is fresh out of his sister's funeral, fresh in his grief over Neph, and hasn't even met Luis yet.

Thanks for reviewing!

To answer the last question: I wanted to visit a character who was broken before I got to them. One of the joys of writing, especially in fanfiction, is discovering all the nuances, and the best ones--the ones full of richness and possibilities--are dark. Corny gets better, sure, but I always wondered how he handled things "off stage."

Where's Luis? That's what I want to know.

Overall, it's not bad. The style of writing is pleasantly descriptive, much like Holly Black's. I wonder what prompted you to write the ficlet.

I liked it. It was sensually played out and just all around well written!

Kudos!

WiseD

Not such good writing, sorry.
And at the risk of sounding like a religiose freak, which I'm not.
It deos not seem right to compare Jesus with any one in this context.
4/10