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Reviews For: I'm here - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

tiamat100 2008-06-11 ch 10,	abuseWow! This is great! it's amazinG! Poor Rose and Romana, trapped in the other universe. ANd with rose pregnant! Thats so sad! Please write a sequel soon! i love it! Now please, please, please write more, this is incredible, brilliant, amazing, excellent, And its absolutely fabulous, so please write more!
M64 2008-01-05 ch 10, anon.	abusesorry this is the sequel to my reviw before after reading kiwi fruits one. i agree as well that it has been kidna rushed on. pregnant (tell doctor), doctor takes jack home, jackie knows rose is preganant, doctor and jack stuck, gone to torchwood etc etc pretty fast. but otherwise it was a good twist that rose falls pregnant (was kinda guessing that he he) and u should definately (i whole-heartedly agree with snowfox3)write something from theta's point of view or another story connected to this story u have written because it is sorta like a cliffhanger wer this story has ended.
M64 2008-01-05 ch 10, anon.	abusehey talia, great story but sad its ended already. lol loved the part wen jack kills himself and comes back alive. he he. so is there a story of when the doctor is at torchwood with jack or wen he comes back in 2018 or sumthing? anything new? keep it up.
M64 2008-01-05 ch 6, anon.	abusewhoa whoa whoa! the part wen they come to Trascom (chap 6: Captives?) it gets bit confusing wen u said: “You did all that when you were sixteen?” Rose asked. “What, it was in at the time. Going clubbing, getting drunk, that kind of stuff.” Rose said. did u meant romana? coz i thought i missed a part wen another rose comes or i was just weird xD. well im gonna keep on reading. byes and ps. so was my doctor who dream funny or wat? chita: i want an xmas tree doctor: frosty snow! rose: wha? ha ha ha ha lol.
SnowFox3 2007-12-31 ch 10,	abuseI'm so sorry for not reviewing in so long- I had family over and I couldn't go on the computer. But I am free now- yes!- and I can now review the last chapter of your story. So... First of all- loved your disclaimer. It's good to know that my quite-irritating-at-times sarcastic wit has rubbed off on you. He he. I liked the start of this chapter... how Jackie reacted to the baby- but I would've liked to see her thoughts on it, too. 'Cos I think Jackie would be the kind of person that'd go on and on about the good and bad things that are involved in impending parenthood- and alien children, too! Although, yet again, I think this chapter was rushed. This chapter especially. There is very little detail, and it kind of disappointed me. And, also, this ending doesn't really- although it's an excellent plot-ender- you've got- bang happy, bang lovey, bang gone. It just... doesn't really work. I mean, I love it, but I'm not sure other reader's would- seeing as they didn't know what was going to happen. You've got- in all other chapters- more detail- and this chapter is the one that should have had the detail- 'cos it was the complication. But anyway... You know what? The ending... the last line of this story... was absolutely brilliant. 'Theta Tyler was born on August 5, 2008.' Like I said, brilliant. Loved it to bits. And what a name for the kid. Are Theta and Isa going to be friends? Isa is an aunt! How cool is that! But I reckon they should be more like siblings- makes more sense that way. Are you going to have a sequel? 'Cos if you do- I think you should make it in Theta's point of view- having two hearts- having to go to school (make him in Isa's grade- because he'll be really smart)- having to hide from the people/aliens that want to capture/study him. And then, bam! He meets his father! I think that'd be a good sequel. Yeah. Sorry about the shortness of the review. But I really did like this story- so please, please, keep writing it! ~SnowFox3
gaiafreedom21 2007-12-31 ch 10,	abuseNo. That was just mean,surely the Doctor can get there sooner otherwise he will miss out on 10 years of his childs life.
DoctorWhoRules 2007-12-31 ch 10,	abusePoor doc doesnt get to see theta grow-up interesting ending might i add but more would be nice sorry no reviews for me but blam my computer I love the story ~Audrey~
awesomepwincess123 2007-12-31 ch 10,	abuseThat story is absolutly amazing i love it :D i hope you do write a Sequal because i want too know what happens with the wedding and the baby and stuff well done :D !
PlasmaBall 2007-12-31 ch 10,	abuseThat was such a sad ending. If you do a sequel, I'll uh... uh... I'll be your best friend. Please?
SnowFox3 2007-12-30 ch 9,	abuseI was right, I was right! Nyah pokes tongue out I was right! Me, genius! Oh yeah, that's right. Pregnancy and marriage... me: #-a-r-t. Yeah! Oh, and is it just me, or do most of your disclaimers have something to do with dreaming? Hm. Interesting. I really loved the presents given to the Doctor; the sand was really sweet of Romana. I also loved the "Not a Martian" t-shirt- made me crack up- the amount of times on the show the Doctor has to say that- well, at least now he can just point. Sonic tool kit, too, huh? Nice. Although, once again, I think you are rushing through the story. You could've mentioned what other presents were given to Rose, and to Isa, and to Jack, and Jackie, and Pete. It really does kind of seem you're speeding through it- probably excitement- you want to get the next chapter up as fast as you can, and you really want to see it in words- your fantastic idea. The only problem with that is that it doesn't do anything other than the main complication growing. It doesn't add to the story. It detracts. Maybe you should try re-reading through the words you write, and if you find something that you could add to, add to it. That'd make the story more interesting. Not that you have to, of course. It's common knowledge that I love this story, and I don't really care about extra parts- it's my critisism-orientated mind doing that. I seem to find more critisisms for most things than praise. It's just me. Don't mind me. And pardon that pun. Alright, favourite lines: 1)'“Seriously, you’re not lying?” He took out his sonic screwdriver, and examined her stomach. “You’re not lying.” He stated.' That's very Doctor-ish isn't it? Check everything with the sonic screwdriver. Typical. smiles widely But really cute! 2)'“Which brings me to...” He searched his coat pocket, which was lying on the ground. He pulled something out. “Rose Marion Tyler, will you do me the honours of becoming my wife?” He asked. Rose leapt on to him.' Of course I've got to add this to my list of favourite lines. It's the proposal. And... I gotta say... I love it. But you didn't describe the ring- which- sorta- gets me back to saying- rushing. 3)'“Nah, I told her. Thought I better get permission, knowing your mother.”' I KNEW it! Mwahaha! I am a genius! 4)'“Oi, Jack. Mum says do get your blood all over the house when you kill yourself.” Rose yelled out.' I love this line- Rose to a drunken Jack. Although, you might wanna change the 'do' to 'don't'. grins 5)“It’s getting dark, we should get Jack inside.” The Doctor said, pointing at Jack who was playing fairies with Isa. Fairies with Isa? Very cute. laughs. Very, very cute. Gotta love that line. Basically, my thoughts of this chapter: BRILLIANT. EXCELLENT. FANTASTIC. SUPERB. The Doctor didn't fall asleep all that night, did he? Quite worrisom. Anyway, update soon, please! ~SnowFox3 ~And...for tomorrow... Happy New Year! grins stupidly
SnowFox3 2007-12-26 ch 8,	abuseDo you know how small that chapter was?! Gah! You'd better make it bigger next time, yeah?! I knew Rose'd find out about the Bad Wolf fiasco the day before- and I knew she'd be affected by it. Although, I don't really agree with her getting annoyed at Jack- it's completely irrational- and Rose isn't irrational. However, I do like how that advanced the plot- so I'm going to say I don't mind it. Y'know- I just happened to realise this- but you've made the Doctor, well, un-Doctor-ish. I just read back previous chapters- and you haven't got any of the natural exuberance the Doctor always holds. As in: no 'insanity, excitement, craziness'- you know- the Tenth Doctor's strange and quite endearing personality. You're losing character, Talia. But never fear! You shall watch Doctor Who, and you shall gain inspiration once again! This was a good chapter- but I got annoyed, 'cos there was not much action. I mean, I know this chapter was vital to the plot- but it just didn't feel right. It's hard to explain. Not that I'm critisising your writing- it's just- it feels like you wrote this chapter as fast as you could, just to get it posted fast. It's not really too healthy. But it doesn't matter, honestly. You've updated, right? Yeah. And updating is a good thing, not a bad thing. Feel free to completely disregard the previous couple of paragraphs. Glad to know Romana's still joining in the festivities. But that's another thing- you've been so focused on the plot you're not giving anything else a go. For example: you wrote that they watched a movie. You didn't specify: you could have said something like 'it was funny', or 'it was supposed to be an action movie, but Rose didn't care because she wasn't paying attention'. An even better idea would have been to mention the movie's title. Even small things like that help develop the plot, and yet still add extra interest in the story itself. Okay: Favourite lines: 1)'“You were off with the fairies.” The Doctor said.' A very Doctor-ish line. Probably the only one you've had for a while, which makes it all the better. Me likey. :) 2)“Payback for yesterday morning.” He mumbled against her skin. Very cute line. Made me laugh. Although, once again, you need a comma there. Eg- '“Payback for yesterday morning,” he mumbled against her skin.' Yeah. Oh, and I really enjoyed the ominous proclamation- you finally added one! Yay! I think people are starting to get a grasp of what's going on... Love the prophetics! Love 'em! And... Rose wouldn't tell the Doctor something- 'cos she thought he'd freak. Is she pregnant or something? So... her pregnant... and the Doctor asking for her hand in marriage. Then everything falls apart. Nice. I like it. Oh, and if this review seems very over-critical, please ignore it. I've just found out that we're going to see my dad's side of the family (with mum) for the first time in probably years- 'cos dad doesn't really want to keep in touch- and its kind of making me feel nice and nervous. Great, huh? I'm so screwed. Anyway, please, please, update soon! Yeah! ~SnowFox3
SnowFox3 2007-12-25 ch 7,	abuseOkay, how old is Isa? 'Cos you've got her spouting pretty deep stuff for a young girl. I don't know... it just seems unrealistic. Slightly. A bit. Yeah. Now to pick apart your author note (at the end of the chapter; not the one at the beginning). I mean, I know what's going to happen at the end, and all, but this gives me a chance to imagine what might happen. Not sure why Jackie needs to know how Rose feels- unless something happens in which Rose has to try to get back to the Doctor- you know. The drill. Something I don't agree with though- you stated in your author note that you wanted to get rid of the Master. You already did, remember? He was thought to have died- so why make him live- to get rid of Bad Wolf, right? Well, you forgot to mention anything about how 'WOW! The Master's back! Wait...OH NO!'. Maybe you should have added something along those lines. Just not as abrupt. Yeah. I'm glad you made the Pete/Rose relationship closer- it seemed completely unrealistic that he'd not like her. Once again, you don't have an ominous proclamation! Why, oh why! Anyway, onto mistakes: 1)'She yanked Pete and Isa down, and, confused, every followed suit. ' You might want to elaborate on the 'every (one)' part. 2) This is purely grammatical. Remember, you have to have a comma if you're going to add more to the speech sentence. Not a full stop. And not a capital letter. Example: You put: '“You and Isa pick.” He said.' It should have been: '“You and Isa pick,” he said.' Yeah. Favourite lines: 1)'“Why do you always hug Uncle Theta in your sleep?” Isa asked.' Loved this. Very, very cute line. Really portrayed the naivety of Isadora, as well as the cuteness- overall, very nice line. 2)'She did not struggle: The Doctor would come and save her.' Really shows Rose's faith towards the doctor. Although, the ':' should have been a ';'. Just a complaint here: the Master wouldn't have been concerned with Rose killing ten soldiers. On the contrary, he probably would have been jumping up and down in glee. And trying to make the Doctor miserable. But he wouldn't have backed away. Anyway, I really do need to stop writing and actually eat my food (I'm having dinner at the moment). So, I'll say bye! Bye! ~SnowFox3
timano 2007-12-25 ch 7,	abuseA solid story with a lot of good ideas. Still a little disjointed in places--between different people's thoughts and spoken phrases--but still enjoyable reading. 8 out of 10 stars.
SnowFox3 2007-12-24 ch 6,	abuseYeah. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Anyway, this is going to be yet another short review- only this time shorter. I've changed the just-tired to just-a-small-little-painfully-annoying-headache. So, I apologise for the short-to-be chapter. Very good chapter, again. Loved it. All of it. Would it help to praise you more instead of making this chapter longer? Good. I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! The fight between Rose and Jackie was brilliant. Spot-on. Excellent. Very easily pictured. And very well written. I also like how sweet Isa is, hugging Rose like that. And, another good thing, just to add to the brilliance that was this chapter, was Romana's speech. Very good. Loved it. Loved how, also, she seems to be getting kinder to Rose and family. “She told me that I shouldn’t live in the past. She said it destroys the future.” That was a very good ending note. Is that going to somehow lead to the demise of the happiness of Rose and the Doctor? And how Rose ultimately deals with it? If so, magnificent. If not, magnificent anyway. I did really like this chapter (glad to know Jack's alright!) So, until next update, ~SnowFox3
SnowFox3 2007-12-24 ch 5,	abuseAlright, I apologise profusely for the going-to-be-rather-short review for this chapter. You see, I just spent all my energy reviewing the other one. Not that I have a headache; I'm just slightly tired, and so I've pretty much lost my writing skill. I really did enjoy this chapter. Finally- an adventure with Rose and the Doctor- even if it was easily and quickly solved. The names of the characters- Claire, Dennis, Sam and Marcus. Did you just make them up? Or did you choose them for a reason? Very funny pun there. Sarcasm present in above sentence. And the below one. I liked the party too- but did Mickey shoot Jack? Or did someone else? Because I think it's a bit too far fetched to have Mickey, a character well-liked (mostly) shooting someone else well-liked. That'd be a bit out of character. Unless Mickey's been taken over by some alien form or something. Poor Isa. Having to cope with a gunshot and a death (sorta) at such a young age. Hey! You didn't put an ominous prophecy! Aww, man! Why not! Anyway, onto the next chapter. ~SnowFox3

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