 karierte 2007-12-20 . chapter 1Uh...you sort of lost it after 'Sora stood'.
It became bits and bobs randomly placed together, ne?
I think you should try and implant more humour into the random bits and make them...more...uh? Plotful wasn't exactly the word I was looking for.
Since I'm a hypocrite.
Ackk.
What I was trying to say, was that I loved it anyway! |