Ugh, sorry this is sorry pitiful, and rubbish, and late, and horrible. I read this ages ago, I just haven't had the chance to review (well, I doubt these little messages I leave can be called that - comments, perhaps?).

The dreams in this game always get to me, and you've definitely managed to keep that up. Di's dream has the same cold, eery effect on me that the game ones do. Of course, yours is a millions times better. There's so much room for improvement in BG fanfiction. And that is by no means a dig at the game, just that it has so much potential. I'm glad to see you're tapping in to that. :)

Something I find very effective, creepy and yet also realistic, in a oh--my-god-I-hope-I-wouldn't-do-that type of way, is how Di has so far kept track of who she kills. It gives so much more character to her experiences, and to her as well, because it reveals so much. A nice touch.

Keep on rocking. :D

I liked your use of magic in disposing the corpse- it always feels slightly strange in the game when no-one seems to comment on the trail of corpses you leave in your wake. So, as I said in a previous review; it's nice to know that you're doing enough of the little details to add realism to the story yet without adding so many details that the story gets bogged down in the setting. So well done and I look forward to more.

Once again, intense battle scene. I really think that Di getting to prove to herself (and later, the others) her skills is a good thing, even if she gets a bit sulkish about killing and morals. Oh, I'm so understanding, aren't I?

I'm glad you picked Neira in particular to describe in a bit more detail than other assassins, because she's always been a particular pest in the game. Plus, I always found her character interesting for some reason.

The dream was excellent, and I really enjoyed Di's confusion and fear. It was quite choppy, but that worked excellently, and I think that really added to it.

Update as soon as you can!

Awesome battle scene! Wish I could write stuff like that, let me tell you. Fast-paced, intense, and just about everything a battle should be. And personally, I don't think you should shy away from blood. It makes sense for it to be included, and without it, the story would seem ... cheaper, if that's the right word, which, of course, it isn't.

And I've never really considered where Imoen got those potions. I take them for granted in the game. But hey, now you've gone and got me thinking about it. And also that rod of Magic Missiles too!

Keep up the good work!

I think that it's certainly appropriate to use blood in stories especially Baldur's Gate. It is a tale about the rebirth of the God of Murder through the brutal slaughter of his children after all. Removing immortality is also a good idea -in the game it seems surprising that anyone stays dead with all these Raise Dead and similar spells floating around (which I thought was slightly unrealistic, even for a fantasy setting). These life-restoring spells should only belong to extremely powerful divine spellcasters, or else everyone would get one!

A nice way to deal with the Silke/Garrick quest. Di is awfully noble, isn't she, to leave Silke like that? I don't know how she thinks she is going to get away with not killing anyone else though... she'll learn soon, I'm sure.

The scene with Imoen was perfect. The hesitance, the atmosphere, and the setting ... it all came together so well to make a really good scene. I see that Diana is one of those stoic leave-me-and-I'll-be-fine types.

Good chapter. I'm looking forward to more.

I like how you have more than just the group making plans about how to deal with their problems- it's one thing that is often very unrealistic about many fictions: no-one seems capable of sorting out their own problems, or even considering how to solve their problems beyond lookin for some adventurer to wander by. So well done on that, as like the background detail, it makes the world around the party more realistic.

Hey, just answering your question: I for one don't usually write reviews 'cos I've got nothing useful to say, or can't get it down in words. It'd be like "I love it, write more, thank you." o.O Not very constructive.

I really enjoyed how you portrayed Diana's sense of helplessness at the beginning. That she doesn't even know how far away Naskhel and Beregost are from the Freindly Arm really gives off a sense of naivity. I also think the aches and pains she is suffering adds a nice touch of realism.

In this story, I've really enjoyed some of the descriptions, especially those of the different types of armour and weapons they all use and wear. I find it oddly interesting for some reason, and because I know nothing about that sort of stuff, it's useful too.

And I really like the use of present tense. You don't see that very often around here. Keep up the good work, and merry christmas!

Congrats on another great chapter. I enjoyed how you put in a bit of Forgotten Realms background -it adds a bit extra context to the tale that you don't quite get in the game. That is always good as long as it is not overdone (and you didn't overdo it).

When I said that the chapters are long, I meant in comparison to other stories on this site (which are often shorter). So you're going to change the plot? Sounds intriguing... Are you going to just change the plot or will you change anything else?(such as adding characters etc.) Good idea to slightly tweak the 2nd edition rules- some things seem slightly implausible (such as mages never being capable of learning how to use, say, a longbow). I look forward to seeing where you will go with this.

Yes, the length is still good- I prefer long stories with large chapters to short ones. I think that writing in 1st person isthe best way to convey a character's emotions etc. Perhaps you could swap the perspective to that of other characters as you go on.Anyway, I look forward to seeing your next chapters!

This story is well written and of a decent length- just how I like them! I agree that you do not need a prologue, as you can just fill in any important past events as flashbacks. Besides, you begin at the same point as the game, and it is probably easier to write when you have a basic framework to work off of (the game storyline). I'm looking forward to your next chapter.