|Reviews for Jay and Sobbing Bob|
| queenofthelooneybin 12/4/08 . chapter 1
so sweet! yay for Bob! I want to say it was Shannon from Mallrats but I'm just guessing
| hairofdeath 3/27/08 . chapter 1
I read your story and I plan to give you my honest opinion. But keep in mind, I'm a HUGE Kevin Smith nerd (seen all the movies multiple times, listen to the commentaries, I even read the fuckin comic books for god sake). And being the huge nerd that I am, little things like broken characterization are big to me. First let me say, I liked the concept of Silent Bob and Amy's story getting another addition added to it. I also like the fact that Bob and Amy have a happy ending together. So, the only real problem is the characterization. I can only assume (having read this) that the only Kevin Smith movies you've seen are Chasing Amy and Clerks 2 and maybe the animated series they had for a short while (because of the fireworks thing). If I'm right then ignore all of what I'm about to say. But to someone whose seen all the movies, here are the problems:
1. Selling weed is a big part of J&SB's life. Dante has called the cops on them multiple times (even got busted a couple times). I can understand why they'd quit selling after being committed. But starting off the story by saying they've stopped selling drugs sets up red flags for many Kevin Smith fans. If them selling fireworks was relative to the plot, things might be different though. This may be more real if they were selling weed or Jay was dancing or something.
2. Randal would never buy anything from them. That'd break character.
3. Jay says "what's wrong". I know this is going to sound like im nit-picking, but Jay would say something more like "What the fuck's eatin' you?" or something like that. If you're attempting to show a sesitive side to Jay, ease him into it. Jay's not one to show emotion easily. His character's pretty static. Have him start by making fun of Bob, then slowly have him realize how serious Bob is. Also, in Jay's diologue, throw in a "fuck" here and there. That's more his character. Also, he never calls Silent Bob "Bob". He always refers to him as "Silent Bob" or a fat nick name like "Lunch-box" or "Tons of Fun".
4. The ending, "The view went away with the two reunited embraced as the crowd clapping and cheering them on. Fade out." A crowd coming out of nowhere clapping and cheering is kind of an odd ending. Maybe something like Jay saying "This calls for a celebration." He then reaches in his pocket and pulls out a bag of joints. Bob shakes his head. Jay shrugs and says "Whatever, you tubby bitch." Jay then puts the joints away, turns on the boombox which blasts King Diamond, and Jay starts hardcore dancing. The two continue to embrace as Jay hardcore dances and then zoom out on the scene and eventually fade to black.
This is a good story though, don't let my nit-picking discourage you from writing in the future. I would merely suggest looking more into the character's personalities. Otherwise good story. Also, you got me stumpped on that other fandom that Kevin Smith is starring in. Please tell me, it's gunna bug me all day.